T.J.
As a person progresses they start to look back at how it was. It can happen fast. It can happen with the first interaction with this site if it looks to you like it is going to work. It usually happens part way through CBT. What it amounts to is not believing. Yes that simple.
Technically it is called fear of fear. It works like this. You can't believe you are getting better or that you will so you keep looking to see if you are right. It manifests itself as a fear of having a panic attack again because you can remember how bad they were and how they seem to come out of no where. So the minute any of the symptoms you get with one, or even just higher anxiety happen it triggers this thought. And you start to fear this thought. Now if you have had anxiety for any amount of time it can cause depression just because it can. But lets call it the blues to separate it from full blown chemical induced depression. The blues are easier to deal with.
So a couple of things to help with this:
1 the program works, CBT works but this program has a very good record.
2 when you start to think like this it is a normal reaction to the fact that you are either starting to feel better or at least think you have a chance to. It is called self sabotage. People are tenacious, they don't like to give up even if what they are trying to give up is negative.
3 Tell yourself this is a normal part of the cure because it is. Every one goes through this to some extent. Some more so some less. Some don't even notice.
4 and this is important. They only seem to come out of the blue, there is a reason or trigger. It can be impossible to find and although it is nice to know what it is it is not necessary to know to do the program. Often it will show up at the right moment.
5 it takes 12 weeks to do the program but, it is only the beginning, it gives you the tools to continue.
Let me clarify one thing. there are two parts to the program. Part A the program itself, and the auxiliary part. You can skip ahead to parts of the auxiliary, but to avoid confusion and set backs you must do the first part in sequence. No skipping. You will only end up going back.
And finally 12 weeks is an average you may do it faster or slower.
Most people say they get some relief after the first few sessions.
On the subject of books. Beware any that offer a simple quick cure. These quick cures all fall flat over time. There are some very good books, there is also some good free information on the net. I find the sites that start by telling you they are selling a book better than the ones with pages of promises and then a book to buy. But better yet, go back through the posts and read here what people say about these books.
A book can not cure you, only you can cure you, the book can only guide.
Stick with it, and stick with us, it does work and some of us that look and sound like we have nothing wrong are actually cured. I don't like that word, I prefer free for very good reasons which you will see as you progress.
Another thing, this is a condition, not a disease. There is a difference. This is totally curable. I am proof of that.
Davit.
