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Now is the Time!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Sunny & Tiana,

Maybe I'll rethink why I can't be generous with myself. Part of it is, at this time, after processing your thoughts, that I don't wish to take away from caregiving.

There's this desperation I can't describe, and guilt that I don't wish to have later. Our track coach in high school used to say that we should overextend outselves, but that can harm you if you don't have some "cycle" or way of placing yourself back in an equilibrium.

I wish I could just keep doing stuff, on my endless "to do" list, without giving to myself, as absurd as that sounds.

The other thing is that family has a lot to lose, if I change. If I made demands, then they would have to sacrifice, and nobody likes that type of change.

It seems easier to cave in, I'm afraid...I'll have to sleep on this. I will say that it is hard to find a passion or joy or hobby, since I find myself making excuses or the need to find a "practical" reason for the activity...and of course my "non" supports are okay with that....

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Hugs4u: I've made mistakes in my life, big ones. I've had the guilt to go along with it too, for too long. I finally had to accept what I did and forgive myself and let go of the guilt, learn from it and move on. Otherwise, I'd eat myself alive and forget that I still had living to do. There's still lots I can do for others and myself. Not going to stay on the sidelines and forget that the good Lord gave me this life to do something with it. Remember the talents wasted? I don't want to waste mine any longer. Hope this helps in some way.

Your friend, Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Tiana,

I believe it's reality, and I just am making the best of it. The way I deal with it is that my "religious" belief system sees merit in doing the mundane, since it is part of the dignity of life. Look at all the ordinary people doing ordinary things, for most of their life...there is a "reverance" in the ordinary, and I can relate to most of the world. Problems arise for those who see the greener grass on the other side of the imaginary fence, and then make the wrong wagers, and lose too much.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 653

I love that idea, Hugs! What a great way to re-frame your time that you could otherwise see quite negatively. Good for you!

However, I'm sorry to hear that you have to 'steal' this time. Not sure if I am interpreting it correctly: you feel that you are not deserving of time to enjoy yourself and that that is also the way people around you think? Is there a way you can work on that with the folks in your life? Or is it more your perception of what others think?

Tiana, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Ashley,

One thing i have trouble with is balancing leisure with all these things to do. Tomorrow I have a period where I have a long wait, and decided to find something I really wished to read, and found another treasure, which for some reason , I'm looking forward to reading during that period, when I can't leave the space, where I'm committed to being for about three hours.

It takes something outside of me to give me this gift of reading, which I can never allow myself! I find I have to practically fool other people into thinking I am doing things for alterior motives, since there isn't much support for me.

Reading this book, or if I have to wait long enough, a second book too(!), will be like eating ice cream all day!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Ashley,
I just to try see how much Guy is doing, and use his, and others' momentum to keep cleaning, as much as I dislike it..

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Members,

Now is the time! Get ready and get cleaning! We have already hit the first day of spring, now it is time to do something about it. The earlier the better! Most individuals like to spend the summer:

Lounging and relaxing,
Getting back to the inner you,
Taking vacation time,
Spending quality time with a loved one(s)
Working on their progress

Get all that pesky stuff out of the way. Make lists of chores, renovations, cleaning and any other items that need to be done. While the weather still keeps you inside, take one thing at a time and complete it. Get help! Have the kids, husbands, wives, and extended family pitch in. When summer arrives, things will be done, you can take full days to concentrate on you and your.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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