Tiana, that is true indeed about life having its ups and downs. My 40 years have showed me that for certain! A lot of my panic and anxiety stemmed from an earlier incident when I got divorced. I talked a bit about that elsewhere. Remembering back to then there was a lot of fear, panic, depression, anxiety, and anger. The relationship was rocky for quite awhile, but I was hoping it would get better as jobs and such got better maybe. I went back into the army as it was good work and pay, but after two weeks back at boot camp, my then-wife told me she'd never been happier than since I left and wanted a divorce.
I was wrongly thinking this situation was going to end up the same - that my fiancee would be there a few weeks and then tell me she didn't want me anymore. What I forgot to remember was that this relationship is not rocky. There is a deep love for each other there. What I also forgot to remember was that I landed on my feet after that divorce. I came to this province with a duffle bag and an air mattress. 5 years later I have my fiancee, a good relationship with her great kids, a good relationship with my son, two paid off vehicles and a house to sell. Whew!! Maybe the next five years won't hold that degree of success, but they will hold some great quality time with my sweetie and the kids, some adventures, and some stressful times too, I'm sure.
There will be hard times I'm sure, and things will happen that I can't seem to get my head around. But I'll just keep going.
Hugs4U, the whole spiritual kick in the pants thing is when you know your living wrong or not right, and that ends up giving you a kick in the pants, as if to say, "Smarten up, you know better than that!" That's a good thing too sometimes.
Sunny and Davit, thank you for the kind words. Davit, you are totally right about not knowing what happy is if you don't know sad. I know much more clearly what my fiancee means to me even in this little time that we've been apart.
I still have a fairly high level of anxiety on an ongoing basis. It affects my daily activities less than it did. I suspect that will lessen gradually as I progress toward the goal of getting to our new home. I suspect that it's possible there will be setbacks. I suspect I will be in here crying on shoulders a few more times at least.
I hope this record of my journey will serve as some sort of help for others that come after.
It feels good to see the progress in others. Thank you for the update. 
