I would like to share with people my impression after leaving the grief toolbox. As the toolbox said, there are many forms of grief, one is losing a person. I think when I lost my job (although a temporary relief because I thought all the feeling I was having was due to the building sickness, when I was actually fear). When I lost my job I lost a sense of myself, I became isolated and did not want to seek out work because I assumed the building was making me sick. Therefore, avoidance of things worked for a while. However, as the grief toolbox said I became isolated and this is how grief turns into depression and anxiety, which, certainly happened to me.
I have come to the decision that I do not want the old self even thought I lost him, he was unafraid of everything or at least he thought so because the fear manifested itself in physical symptoms’ which I could control, without exploring the truth behind my sensations.
I seemed to be building a new self one that accepts his fears and anxiety and physical presentation of them. Curiously, I have started to expand my circle of friends, perhaps better friend then before. As loves trees and Davit said I am trying to accept my orange personality in a sea of apples.
I find it somehow odd that I left the grief toolbox to last and in a sense, it put almost everything that I have been struggling with together in a new light. I knew all the things that I said above that losing, a job was a stressor and that I isolated myself, but I wonder if anyone else lost a sense of him or herself, and is trying to rebuild him or herself from the ground up. I do not see this as a bad thing I just wished I had come to see it a lot sooner. Yes my last statement is a negative thought, as I try to stop continually beating up on myself.
I think I have been noticing changes in myself, in those things that would have made me mad I just drop now. Things that I have done wrong really most of them are a trivialities when you consider the main goal is long-term mental health. It seems not worth worrying about the small stuff anymore and dropping the right and wrong in my daily life.
Dizzy
great insight! 
