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Trying to find source of attacks which will lead me to the proper exposure plan


13 years ago 0 118 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

 

Davit

I in no way inferred from your explanation that you were calling me a fool. I was just trying to say that saying this to yourself, is to me kind of a negative thought. But I can definitely see how things can get misinterpreted especially when feeling are involved.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dizzy

My therapist was here and will be back Friday. I will ask her for a better way to explain.
You can not remove anything from your memory without destroying or changing the physical of the brain. So although you might not be able to remember it it is still there. Think of core beliefs as little square building blocks Each negative one can be buried with a positive one, or in the case of related ones by a bigger one or more of them. So when you get them buried when you go thinking some thing they normally open. you have to go through the positive blocks to get to the negative one. and this will only happen if you really want the negative one. Again here is my word, Perception. Change how you look at that negative building block and you will cover it with a positive one, making it not available unless you really want it. It will always be there. And the longer you have had them the more there are or the bigger they are. But when you successfully bury all the negative thoughts with positive ones they become harder to access and over a bit of time as you keep building the positive thought they get buried really deep. You literally forget they exist, because the mind like a good computer always uses what it last or most often used. Does this make sense If not let me know and I will get Tracy to explain it to me better.

Here for you.
Davit
13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dizzy

I hope you did not think I meant you were a fool. I should have put Typed it different. I meant "I am a fool" sort of one of my mantras. So much trouble happens on this site from misinterpretation. At least you commented on it so I can correct it.

Davit
13 years ago 0 118 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

 

Davit

From your post, I noticed that you said that I am a fool for believing the core belief, I hope this is not what you actually say, and is your way just to reinforce to me about core beliefs. I am trying to remain positive and if I would say that I am a fool for believing in negative core beliefs it becomes a negative thought to me because, I am blaming myself for developing them. I the support group I go to one of the problems anxious people have if that they always tiring to be perfectionist or at least this is so in my case. The author of the book says to take the average view and not put yourself down for making mistakes. This is something that I always did, but I am not doing it as much as I used to, so I don’t put myself down for have a negative core belief I accept that I have it and accept that it part of the human condition and I am trying to change my core belief. One other thing that I have been considering trying, is rather than trying to get rid of an core belief it may be smarter to create I opposite and positive one instead of trying to get rid of the false and negative one. I think this suggestion works for people like you and me, who are older and are tiring too change the belief, because it seems to me if I had done it when I started having problems (I.E. I would not have developed so many negative thoughts), and such a strong core belief (that comes from reinforcing it over a long time). I see the advantage to challenge your core beliefs when you are young and just starting to developed belief. I have also just come to the realization of what I am not doing and should be doing, and that is that I would challenge a negative thought or core belief but it would end there. I may even have believed 100% in the new thought, but I am not reinforcing it by saying it ever time that negative thought comes to mind. In my group, the major thing the author says is that we are probably afraid more of the sensations of fear then we are of the situation. I fact this is how I developed many of my false core beliefs because I did not realize that the sensations I was experiencing were from fear, however I don’t believe that this is the situation for everyone. So one mantra is “sensation are distressing but not dangerous”, this thought hold true for me because as I have said before I took all sensation in my body an attached a physical aliment to them, or now I see them is an impediment to working.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dizzy.

I have to think on my coping skills since they come natural now I don't have to think on them. I do the breathing to clear the cobwebs but only when I am feeling fogged in. Remember that because I am ahead of you I have to force coping less than you. I do neck rolls and muscle relaxing because all forms of tension turn into anxiety too easilly. They also are a good form of distraction. You know there is a difference between distraction and avoidance. You will find that there are a lot of things that are close but not the same, one being positive and one being negative. Watch for these you can build negative thought on this too easy. My biggest coping skill is the abillity to tell myself I am a fool for believing negative (False) core beliefs. For years I tried to change the core beliefs but they kept coming back. You can never get rid of them from your memory you can only bury them. And some are very strong. I have a very good therapist, who leads me to the problem and then lets me find the answer. So when I said I have to change the core beliefs she said NO. That was when I discovered I had to change how I was perceiving them. I could use them also, By saying this one is just like that one which I know is false. Just killed two birds with one stone and all their off spring. (negative thoughts) Some times we can not see the forest for the trees. So I made her smile when I said it is not the core belief or the situation triggering it. It is how I am seeing it. I can agree with it or challenge it. The choice is mine not any thing else. Me. I had to change how I saw what I was thinking. Once I could change my thinking then I could do exposure to the trigger as reinforcement. And ultimately exposure to the thoughts, because the thoughts control how much power the trigger and ultimately every thing down line with it has. Whole blocks of negativity disapeared. And I asked people what they thought about my thoughts, as reinforcement. Much like this group. This group is reinforcement.
So to put it simple, even though it is complex. I changed how I was looking at my thinking and ultimately my thinking. Another one of those close but different things. Two different trails with one some times leading to a dead end. 
This is how I got past just relaxation and coping but I could never do it without the relaxation and coping in place first. Exposure works but for me I believe it has to be in the right order. So does my therapist.

Here for you
Davit.
13 years ago 0 118 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
 

Davit

I am asking for some clarification or some more information on what you said. When you talk about coping techniques what specifically worked for you. As far as I know the coping, techniques I have available are to try to relax, box breath, and progressive relaxation. I also exercise and do yoga and try to practice mindfulness.  According to panic centre self-care activities are; Do activities you enjoy; Practice relaxation; Speak with family and friends; Exercise; Read. Aside from  what I have here, I am wondering am I missing something and if I am, is it because I am on session 4 or have you come up with other techniques that work for you because they are personal in which case I ask that you not share them. However, if you have some generic kinds I would sure be interested in knowing what they are. When you say, “instead of trying to fix one I fixed how I thought” are you referring to fixing triggers (as fixing each one) and you corrected how you thought about the triggers and how you perceived them, is this where you found all your negative perceptions. I think I found the answer when you said instead of fixing every situation you fixed how you thought about them I am assuming (a trigger is a situation). Finally, did you look for core beliefs as a staging ground because it seems to me if you fix a core belief where quite a few negative automatic thoughts come from then you have addressed all the negative thoughts by dealing with one big one? Happily awaiting your answer and do not over tax yourself when you get a chance I would like to know what you think. I think we may have stayed away from the original thread a little but I would appreciate hearing your responses anyway.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dizzy

Hi. From my experience I found that for me it did not matter what caused the panic and there were a number of things. What I did was learn coping skills so I could survive wth them. Then I looked at how I was seeing all of this. I found so much negative thought it was overwelming, so instead of trying to fix each one I fixed how I thought. How I was seeing them, covered all of them, so I only had to fix one thing. The negative perception. Never mind having to expose myself to all the situations that were causing me panic. Exposing myself to the negative thought was enough. As long as I could believe that the thought was negative and not necessary then the action did not cause panic. It caused anxiety but I shot it down before it became panic. Some situations were strong enough to break through my positive thought but repetition weakened them so that positive thought won out. It took time but it worked. For me at least. It may not work for you.
Right now I have a major arthritis flare and I am in intense pain and I am at the Maximum I can take for it. I have to ride it out. There are all kinds of negative thoughts right now but only one positive one. I have been worse I can ride this out. There is no reason to panic. It is enough. It won't change the situation but it will stop the panic from happening. I will admit that it is a battle though.

I think you are on the right track.

Davit.
13 years ago 0 118 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
 

I have gone through session 1 to 3 taking a week or more with the sessions. I also have been to CBT and challenged negative beliefs, according to therapist he said, “That he never had any one finish the book or know so much about anxiety and panic attacks”. These are his words. I did not believe them I did believe him about finishing the book but not knowing about panic attacks and anxiety. The reason I did not believe him as he set the goals for me to achieve from our sessions. My most important goal was to stop having attacks. His goal was to return to work and ignore all the symptoms I had, and if I did have any anxiety that I was to use breathing technique to stop all sensations. I noticed that in Panic Centre you set your own goals, which allows you to have a sense of accomplishment. After he set the goals for me, I was unable to stop panic attacks and breathe away any sensation. However, in a support group I go to the general mantra is, “The rate of recovery is in direct proportion to the amount of discomfort you are willing to bear and to function normally while bearing it”. The only knowledge you need for this is to realize that the symptoms you have are distressing but not dangerous and they come from anxiety. I think one of my problems is I have so many negative thoughts that I challenge them right away and then never revisit them. I have considered going over my journal, sifting though, finding all the negative thought challenged, and putting them on a separate piece of paper. Perhaps some of negative thoughts are just the same theme but said in a different way. When I was at the CBT therapist, I had identified my negative core beliefs. However as I keep coming across new thoughts I think my negative core beliefs are changing not because I got rid of it but because I had the wrong one to begin with. About the pain when going of the medication it returned, but I mediated all the tension away and with the tension gone, the pain went with it. I think one of my core beliefs or negative thinking problems are in the past as I have said I would blame all my problems on one thing or another usually with a physically manifestation. In other words, I was picking up twigs when I had a log in my eye. Therefore, now that I have finally realized, at least to some extent that my problems are fear based I pay too much attention to my confusion. My therapist said, “You give it to much power to your confusion by paying attention to it”. I agree with him, however since I have just recently noticed that my problem is fear based I seem fascinated with how screwed up I am from it. I have Google all sorts of things such as a learning disability are disguised by anxiety. That when I lost my hearing and developed vertigo if you Google it says, that this can be a major source of panic attack. I have also Google that I constantly have sever tinnitus in one ear and some in another and I think they said that people with this condition are 70 percentage more likely to develop depression. Finally I my support group another mantra labels people like me as intellectual tiring to find a reason for everything when you should take an average view of life and not find fault with everything that happens. Davit, you are write that I probably have to accept my disability I have even said this to some else, interesting how I can give advice but cannot take it home with me.

dizzy

13 years ago 0 223 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks Teebs and Davit.
 
All good advice here.  Dizzy sounds like you have put a lot of thought into your condition and are very motivated. This may make it hard to put on the brakes as suggested but in the long run this may help you focus and make steady progress.  I good pace would be to tackle a new session every week to allow you time to re-visit the online course if necessary.
 
So with that said, what do you think may be an area to work on in the next week?
 
Please share and post often to allow others to help.
 
 

Jason, Bilingual Health Educator
13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dizzy.

Your answer is right in the middle of your post. A one word answer. Perceive! 
You do not need to do exposure right now, exposure is reinforcement, not the answer. You have to do it eventually, just not right now. Think on it, since you are a thinker and obviously intelligent. As you said you can try to force an attack and it won't happen. Because what you think during an attack is false? Okay looks like what you think is the trigger isn't. See no consistancy there. So back to perception. You have conditioned yourself to believe something during the attack that is not true. (core belief) and it pops up because it has been doing that for a while. You can build a core belief on any thing. You can also change existing ones. The reason you are having the attack is not because you turned a certain way. That only brings it to the front because it is uncomfortable. And because you percieve that you are going to have an attack you do. So okay what is the trigger then? Doesn't really matter because what you have to deal with here is the thought you are going to have an attack. Perception! Or if you are already into the attack, finding all the reasons that what you are thinking is false. This is why you journal. What you write, if you can, during an attack is different from what you write when not having an attack. This will show you that what you are thinking during an attack is not realistic. Like grabbing at straws. You can not use those thoughts during an attack as leads. But you will if you don't challenge them and they will reinforce the core belief you already have, making it hard to find the real trigger. Core beliefs seed off negative thoughts that may make it seem like you have a number of triggers but there usually is only one, these negative thoughts are just all related to it, confusing the issue. It really helps to write down your negative thoughts to see if they are related. It could just be that you are afraid to go back to work. So you build negative thoughts (excuses) on this one problem.
Doing work pro bono, will definitely help you. It will prove you are good enough to eventually re enter the work field. If. And there is an if. And that if is are you physically capable. No one likes to admit they have a disability that could hinder them. If the answer is no, could you settle for part time. Self esteam is very important if you want to beat panic. 
Take my word for it since I am proof of it. Helping others is a good way to build self esteam and confidence. People who help others are the most stable people I know. 
Core beliefs are very strong and can be very false. So strong that they seem right when they are wrong. Some so strong they can make you sick when you are not. EG. allergies. Some are for sure real but some are just perceived to be real. Theres that word again. Perceive.
Another word to think on is acceptance. Aparently if I read your post right you will have a disabillity for ever. Accepting it will help.
One other thing. If stopping the medication brought back the pain it could be partially thought related. An interesting thing with pain is that when a person can go no farther with pain killers, antidepressants or mood stabalizers are prescribed. I think they block the constant dwelling on the pain, lessening it.
Just some things to think on. And I agree with Teebs, there are some very good points there.

Here for you.
Davit

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