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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

It seems as though any change in many of our lives throws us off into a whirl wind of self-doubt and panic. At least that is the way it was for me. I think working part time is a great idea and I would also do that too if I could.

It seems as though we are always so hard on ourselves. Maybe commit to being kind to yourself this week. Maybe read a good book, do some journaling etc. Also don't stay inside for too long. I went through a long bout of agraphobia years ago. It is really easy to fall into the habit of staying in one place getting really comfortable.

Take care of you, don't be so hard on yourself and remember this too shall pass whether we want it to or not :)

Kendra

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 49

Thank you everyone for your encouragement and kind words, it really is helpful.

I wish that I didn't have to work right now, so that I could just focus all my time and energy on getting better but I know that isn't a reasonable expectation right now. Next week I'm going from full-time to just above part time (5 hour days), so I really think that this will be helpful.

To answer some questions: What do I miss about home? Well, honestly I just miss everything. I miss how big it was...I went from a 1,200 sq ft house to a 600 sq ft apartment. The apartment doesn't have a front door, back door...balcony, backyard - it just kind of feels like prison, rather than "home". I miss my family too; it was a big house full of a lot of people and now it's just me and my hubby - it's so quiet. But most of all I miss my Mom and my dog. I had to leave my dog with my Mom because this apartment is not pet friendly, but not only that I wouldn't want him to be home alone all day whereas with my Mom he's with someone almost all the time. I know he's still my dog, still my baby but it's just really hard not having him around 24/7. And my Mom, she's seriously my best friend, we get along so well and she's there for me for well...anything and everything.

Ugh...*sigh*. I know that I need to challenge my negative core beliefs, but that's going to be so tough because I just see everything with such a negative outlook and I wish I could change that. I hate it...I hate it so much.

Thanks again everyone,

Spartan

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Hi Spartan,

I have been in a very similar situation as you, just a few months ago! I also have a feeling I should take my own advice that I'm about to give you :) So this is good for me, too.

Just because you had a harder day don't let it keep you from being proud of the two days you did well. Two 8 hour work days WAS a big success! Moving away from home and working many days in a row of your job was maybe just too much right now. That doesn't mean you've failed - it just means that maybe you're asking too much of yourself right now. Maybe you need to give yourself a little bit of a break and tackle one thing at a time. For me, I moved away from home in April and started my job up again, and after a few months I recognized that it was too much. I have stopped my job for now, which wasn't right for me anymore for many reasons, and I am focusing on working through my anxiety and also on other things that are important to me like my photography career.

I'll ask Ashley's question again - what is it about home that you miss? For me it was my connection to my parents, so I talked to them on the phone every day for a while, and still talk to them often. That helps me feel like I'm still connected to them and supported by them even though now I go weeks or months without seeing them.

I was really skeptical when I started this program, too. I started it once last December, then stopped for a while, but came back to it in July and am giving it 100% effort this time. I still have a long ways to go, but I've found that if you really do the homework it does help. It can be frustrating because you just want to "get better", but it is a long and sometimes bumpy road. There will be setbacks/rebounds, but that doesn't mean you aren't making any progress. Post here with both your ups and your downs and before long it will be obvious that you're heading in the right direction.

Just know that you're definitely not alone, and that there is a way out of this - you won't be stuck forever!

Teebs

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Spartan,

This is a big change for you. And with the job it sounds like you are feeling a bit overwhelmed. Sometimes when we are overwhelmed we want our old comforts. For you it is your home. Know it will get easier.

I agree with Davit. Sometimes it can feel like it will never get better sometimes it can feel like all your efforts are in vain. But they are not in vain, you will succeed. You just need to believe in yourself, believe that you deserve this and stick with it. I have read so many posts like your's where members feel defeated, now I am reading amazing posts from the same members saying how they cannot believe how far they have come, how happy they are and how much their lives have changed. I know you will get there too. There is no doubt in my mind. We will be here to support you every step of the way. We will be here when it is really hard for as long as it takes and we will be here to celebrate your successes with you!

How can you feel more comforted in your new home? What about your old home do you miss?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Spartan

This is normal, Remember me, the cured guy. It is rebound. It is like checking an aching tooth to see if it still aches. Give it a couple of days. Every one does this. Negative core beliefs never go away you just put them aside. It is one of Shari's dragons ( negative core beliefs ) you have woke up. I have said this so often and it is true. "this is the hardest simple thing you will ever do". I too thought I would never get better, my therapist rubs it in just to keep me on my toes every time I run into her. It took a while but it does work. Shari is the fastest it worked for but only because she truly believed it worked and believed if it worked for me it could work for her. She coined the words "I believe" that are so successful in caging her dragons. Believe and it will come true. Now work on that negative core belief that tells you it won't or can't because it is false. Frustration and anger are both negative emotions and panic grows on them. Look in the mirror and tell yourself it will be fine, the cured guy says so and do it till you smile. Happy is a positive emotion, panic can not grow on it. :-)The mirror thing is proven therapy by the way, just like group therapy is, so that is why we are a group and here for you.

And why we want you as part of the group, It works.

Here for you,

your friend,

the cured guy.

Davit.:-)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 49

Well, I made it through two whole 8 hour work days this week and I was so proud of myself, I thought I was doing so well. Then yesterday I fell off the wagon, went home early and didn't even go in today (but today I was actually sick), but still. Anyway, right now it's 11:53pm and I can't stop crying. I'm just so homesick :(. I just moved out on my own (with my hubby) for the first time in my life around 4 weeks ago, and I'm not adjusting well - it's so hard. I feel like this is just a huge set back and it's keeping me stuck, and I'm just so frustrated. I already read Session 1 and I'm trying to do my homework as often as I should, but I just don't feel like it's going to actually help...y'know? I just feel like I'm going to be stuck like this forever, so why bother trying to fix it.

Frustrated and angry,

Spartan

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