Hi Spartan: Sorry to hear you are going through such a hard adjustment period. Being just married is an adjustment in itself, moving into your new home is an adjustment, a new job is an adjustment. You have had three changes in a short amount of time. I think it's normal to be a little stressed out! I think that when you've had a year in your home, celebrated some holidays and special occasions, it will feel more like yours. Once you get the routine going, it will calm you. As Teebs mentioned, making it more comfortable for yourself. This doesn't mean just the furniture, it means creating your own oasis to capture your spirit, your sentiments, your loves, surrounding yourself with things that you and your husband are interested in. Try and think of the positive, what an adventure you two are starting together! How exciting to be able to decorate and do what you want.
I've cried at bedtime too, when things seemed unreachable. Heck, I've cried during the day! It's o.k. to cry, not a failure, it's a great release of stress and tomorrow is another day. The failure would be if you didn't try again. It's not easy, I know, to think of positive things when you feel so anxious. It takes a concentrated effort and it takes practice. Do you practice relaxation techniques every day? How about the breathing exercises? I found those two exercises helped me the most during anxiety. I had to practice these for at least three months before I really could feel the effect. Don't give up, once you know these, they will come to you automatically.
Remember the old rubber band around the wrist trick? When you had a bad habit you wanted to break, if you found yourself doing it, you'd snap that band real hard around your wrist. Another is, take your negative thought and get up, go to the garbage can and throw it out. Physically do it, not just the visualization of doing it. You'll be surprised how many times a day you have to do it at the beginning.
I love my dog too. I've had dogs for over 25 years. I like the companionship of a dog. She knows my every move, even a sigh, sometimes she sighs right after me. They all have their own characters too. Too bad I am allergic to cats now and ferrets. Ferrets are so curious, playful and sweet. They follow you around too.
I hope you keep studying the program and have faith. It does get better. Davit and I are proof of it. Cheering for you.
Your friend, Sunny
