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Negative Core Beliefs - Examples

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Negative Core Beliefs - Examples

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Shari

Yes. You replaced how you look at the situation. Which in turn has proved more than one thing. You were wrong to believe you could not do math, and you were wrong to believe you were stupid. and you were wrong to believe anything associated with this belief. See how much dead wood you have pruned out by going to the root of the problem. See how much new growth there is. If you were wrong to believe this then what else were you wrong to believe. Just by believing you are right, believing in yourself you have flipped a number of core beliefs from negative to positive. Now comes the part about emotions and attitude because you need to bury the negative forever, not put it on the shelf but put it in the garbage. Remember they are all tied together. They are still sitting there, both negative and positive, which one do you want to keep. If you are mad because of all you have lost because of the negativity caused by these people, then you will keep the negative. But if you forgive them and in turn forgive yourself for feeling how you do, then you will keep the positive.

Like our good friend here sunny says "only the present counts the past is in the past and the future is not here." The past is to learn from, the present is to enjoy and the future is where we make sure the past stays there.

Do you see what I meant by it is not the core belief but how you perceive it that is the problem, and what you do with it that dictates whether you keep it or lose it. You can not change the people or what they did but you can change your attitude towards it. You can stop it from controlling your life.

These are really nasty things when they are negative. And if you have a tendency to put thing aside so you don't have to deal with them you will have a hard time finding all the core beliefs.

Your core beliefs tree looks much better with all that dead wood pruned out. On to the next.

By the way did you notice the exposure exercise in doing this, It is all tied together. Opening yourself can be more painful than any physical exposure you do, but you can do it.

Now we add on some more words to the "I can believe," I can forgive, and I can forget. They are going to be just as hard to do.

Here for you.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

Shari,

You sure did !! You got it!! Great work!!!

You are definitely on the path to wellness....

Red

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Warning! This is only a test...I do not know if this is how you talk through a negative core belief. I am posting it, so see if someone else can tell me if this is right.

One of my negative core beliefs: I am stupid and can't do math. I must preface this with...I had pnuemonia and had missed the basics in math. Instead of my teacher helping me fill in the blanks, this is what happened...It started when my third grade teacher screamed at me and called me stupid in front of the whole class. She said I was hopeless and that I would never be able to learn math. This was reinforced by my seventh grade Algebra teacher who knew I had trouble with math. Every single day he would call me up to the chalkboard and humiliate me and the class just ripped into me with "You're an idiot" comments. As an adult, I was hired as a sixth grade teacher at a private school. I had to teach Algebra! Talk about having Math Anxiety. I read and studied and my Dad helped me and I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD IT for the first time in my life and was successful. I learned that I am smart and I CAN do math and I believed lies. Now, when I feel that insecurity, I tell myself, that's not true, I am good at Math, in fact I'm excellent at math. Now the false belief thoughts don't bother me, because I correct it with the truth! Did I get it?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Everyone.

Please never hesitate to post. That is just the negative talking, telling you not to.

Sunny look where you would have gone if you had of believed this negative thought. Do you still question whether it is true or not, they can so nag us if we let them.

Here for you

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Yup, negative core beliefs need to be challenged. One of mine from a very early time was that I was ugly. Especially from one of my older sisters was the lie that I was ugly and no one could possibly love me, date me, etc. Turns out she was wrong as in H.S. the headboy (really cute) was my boyfriend for awhile (I changed schools almost every year) and I've had 6 marriage proposals in my life. Well, something's gotta be good. I'm not bragging here, just showing how confused I was because I had to change my thinking about my physical appearance, not to mention that I tried so hard to be a nice, good person if that was all I had for guys to be interested. (I even joined modelling agency to learn to improve myself. I'm only 5'5" so too short to model, but they took my money anyway. haha. There were other jobs I could get through the agency. I did do hostessing work instead for large conferences, also as a representative of cosmetic companies in shops, and taught poise and posture to teens for awhile). When you are growing up, this is a big deal especially when your two older sisters are beauties and you know that even on your best day, you could never look like them. I know this sounds shallow - at our age we can recognize this - but when you're just a teen and trying to figure things out, where you fit in, etc., it is difficult stage to grow through, especially when you have a mother who insists on beauty and always compared you to someone else. One never left the house without making sure you looked perfect. ugh. and criticized your choices and your friends. It seems no one was ever good enough, there was always something wrong with them unless their parents were doctors, lawyers or that "ticket" to a better life. What can I say, I guess my parents were snobs. No, I am not one, not even a little tiny bit - not for me, every single one is equal. I know I have broken that cycle. My father was a diplomat for the Can. Embassies after he retired from military. I suppose, that's part of their reasoning. ? Oh boy, I rambled today, didn't I? Going to send this anyway.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Thanks Teebs, I almost didn't post the question. Yesterday must have been my day of hesitation. I'm glad you're interested in the topic too. It seems we are going through things at the same time, like learning about this topic and doing our exposure work. Thanks for keeping in touch!

Red, thanks for your helpful response!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

Davit this is a perfect example and description of a negative core belief. I definitely can relate to this one. I am also a younger sibling..... I am also trying to change my negative cord beliefs and this is one of the many. I agree the best way to handle them is to work on them one at a time. When you just change one of them it makes life some much easier and I find other things seem to fall in place. This is a ongoing process and it doesn't happen over night. Like Samatha said take your time with it and be patient. You didn't develop your negative beliefs over night and it will take time to change some of them and replace them with positives. Like for me I never fit in as a child and always felt I had to be perfect and try to keep things running smoothly. Be the good kid, Be the good girl, Do the right thing and everything would be ok... I now know that is not always true and that even if I do everything good and right things can still go wrong, but the most important to remember is that if something goes wrong it isn't because I wasn't good enough..... Things can go wrong and do go wrong in life and things go good in life also. I am not responsible for everything that goes right or wrong. I do not have to be perfect and accepting and loving myself for who I am is ok. I also found out that people do like me and I can fit in when I took my first quilting class this year.

Red

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Shari,

I don't have any insight to offer but I just wanted to say great topic - I am struggling with the same thing right now!

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Samantha and Davit, Thank you. The light bulb over my head is getting brighter :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Continuing on here, please read the first post first.

Now you can build on this core belief and you will. If it was a good belief you would build good beliefs but since it was false (negative) all the beliefs associated with it will be similar. This does not mean they will be bad. Next example.

So thinking people don't like me I set off to be so good they can't help but like me. I think if I am so impressive they will like me. False again but it has its flip side, a good side imbedded in a bad side. (think of artistic people that impress you but you don't really like) I start to analyse things, looking at them from all sides and become very good at all that I do. I'm still at an age when this does not mean as much as fitting in. So although the belief has made me an artistic person with good comprehension, I have still missed the boat. I'm still thinking stupid things associated with the negative core belief and pushing me into being a perfectionist and thinking now that they don't like me because I'm to good for them. See. Now it gets worse because to fit in I'm going to have to drop my standards. (but watch, I don't really) So I try to become one of them but every time they do something I don't like it just builds on me till I get to the point where I no longer try. I become a recluse where I can do things the way I want to. Bad! I should have been changing some pretty strong negative core beliefs. So why am I not sitting in an asylum making baskets. Well some one recognized my skills and also took the time to try to fit me in as one of the crew, just one of the boys. It was a bit of a user tactic, keep me happy and you get a very skilled worker for the same price. But I did fit now even if not perfect but enough that I believed I could. There are those words again. "I believe" I could chip away at the negative core belief by saying I was wrong. Not the belief, we know it was, but "I was." I.

See I have to change Me and how I think.

Core beliefs influence all we do and think and they split and come together some times as entirely different things. Some times a good thing can come from a bad belief and some times the opposite. You really have to look hard at them and say what is this doing to me, is it good or bad and if it is bad you have to change what you are doing with it, Again not it directly.

And finally, one at a time so you don't get confused and build more negative ones.

I sure hope this made some sense. Like panic, it may seem illogical but it really isn't when you get to the base of it.

Here for you

Davit.

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Negative Core Beliefs - Examples