Cleo: I don't remember birthdays in our family. Very strange. I've been told that mom always baked a cake and candles, the whole bit. I just don't remember except for maybe 4-5 of them.
Yes I was shy as a child. Unfortunately my mother, trying to be helpful, would answer people's questions to me, saying that I was shy. I think it's better if a parent allows the child some time to answer, even if it is awkward. Perhaps a bit of help to ease the tension, but give the the chance to speak. Teaching your child social graces - such as making eye contact, shaking hands, the appropriate address to someone, would be helpful to prepare the child socially.
Could it be that till you were a teen you had a stress free life. There is a change that comes over us at that age. We go from child to not quite an adult. We don't fit in either world.
I have no memories of my early childhood....I can only see back from about 12/13 and up..often wondered why I can't remember before that.
Davit..I'm the youngest of 6 kids... I often heard my mother say ...."if the birthcontrol pill had been around in my day, I'd only have had 2 kids"...so I know exactly what its like to be considered an excess...
But....look at as now! Living...learning...trying...doing the best we can!
I used to be socially anxious..and still am at times..but overall, maybe cause I am not required to speak in front of groups...I'm ok...my anxieties present in different ways, but I can see how it affects socialization.
As a very young person I was quite open and would have had a normal childhood except for non acceptance. I was following in my brothers footsteps and they were pretty big. It was not hard to become shy. My brother was wanted and I was just so much excess in the way. This progressed into my teens and was a problem all through them. And it coloured my life, but look at me now.
The cause of Social Anxiety Disorder is still not yet fully understood. Some theorize that children learn shy behavior from their parents but it seems even more likely that there’s a genetic component to being shy. About 10% of children are described as being “high in behavioral inhibition” or shy, which means that they’re fearful in new social situations. This shyness seems to negatively progress throughout adolescence.
Most adolescents are very self-conscious and spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think about them. Most adolescents experience some anxiety in some social performance situations. If a shy child hits adolescence and becomes extremely self-conscious and worried about what other people think, that adolescent can be at risk for developing Social Anxiety Disorder.
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