I think you are doing a great job at going to your class. I've been doing small exposure lately, but everytime i step out to do it, it is a battle. I wonder when I will be getting used to it, but I guess I can only hope for it. What usually helps me is i usually write down all my negative thinking in my journal before going out and then conversate back to it with comments that 'prove me wrong'. And I keep telling(writing) myself all the accomplishments I've made and how great I'm doing... and this has been helping me a lot. Also saying the word "oh well" helps me let go of some of my obsessive thoughts.... but I had to keep saying it to actually believe it. I'm agoraphobic too so i have trouble trusting the world outside of me and all of my senses become more sensitive which becomes overwhelming since I'm not used to it anymore. The love of the quiet life like both of you.
I remember when I learned that you can control mind chatter and it can actually help your mood and focus I was amazed. Stay positive. I think you will surprise yourself!
Thanks for the response. I do love the quiet and crave it just like you. One thing you said struck a cord in me and that is I do want to learning quilting just like you want your liquorice. I too like bits of the world out there. I also love my quite life and do need it. Thanks for letting me know I am not the only one out here who craves and needs the quiet life.
Thanks again!! I get what your saying now and it very comforting to know that you know what I am going through. Your description of the chatter was perfect and totally describes what I am going through. I am going to try much harder now knowing that with practice it will get easier. I am so glad you were here today to help me. Thanks you so very much.
I think this class will be a great experience for you. It sounds like you are already off to an impressive start!
What I mean bt redirect your focus; just bring your attention back to your teacher. Instead of having your mind chatter on the people around you like "that person is moving behind me, I find it distracting. The conversation beside me is distracting, I am not focusing." Look at the teacher and try to pay attention to what she is saying or doing instead. Take notes if nesesary. It takes practice but eventually it gets easier.
Thank you for the response and suggestions. Yes I think I can think of a place or activity where I feel at peace and try to visualize it when I am feeling anxious. I am going to give this a try on Tuesday when I am in the class again. I can get up and go for a walk during class. I have done this and the teacher doesn't seem to object, she also goes out and walks for short periods during class. I am not sure what you mean by redirecting my focus or simply redirecting my attention. This is a concept that I do not understand. Could you clarify this for me??? I am just not getting it. One thing the teacher did say to me when we had some one on one time together after class, that I may want to come to her Thursday morning class because it is a smaller class,all retired teachers. I like the class I am in though and feel I am more likely to have things in common with the people in my class. She is a very nice person and we have a good rapour. So far I seem to be ahead of the rest of the beginners in the class and get my work done at home which she likes.
I was and still am a recluse for the most part. If you had not lived the quiet life you would not know it and your body crave it. It is like coffee, if you never tasted it you would not want it. You may just have to get used to the quiet life. Or learn to ignore everything around you. (this can be done). Unfortunately the more quiet you get the more the noise is going to bother you. My therapist does curling in the winter. Not for the curling but for the commitment. If she didn't have to be there she would not leave her acreage and her sheep and horse. It is not really the noise because she uses the TV for company. It is unnecessary noise. I have background music as I type this. I do not like to go out because I know what I have to face. What do I do? A few things. When I go for groceries what I am actually going for is liquorice which I want. (not need, this is important) And while I am there I usually pick up a few groceries. (again stuff I want not need) It has to be fun not a chore. I invariably end up getting everything I needed anyway. How do I deal with the crowd and noise? I usually focus on one thing I want to do or am interested in. Restaurants? I focus most of my attention on one person. I have been told I am a very social person and I think I am but I just like quiet too much.
I hate to admit this because it makes me look like a freak, but I like me and I like the way I live and so I have had to develop ways to live with the part of life that bothers me. I survive quite nicely in the world I don't like and find some times when conditions are right that I can actually like bits of it.
First of all I am so impressed that you are taking this class. It takes a lot of courage! Yes, you will adapt. Keep it mind you were isolated for a long time. It will take some time to get used to be around people. Keep looking at it like a challenge. Every day you go to this class is a huge accomplishment. If you enjoy this class do not let the anxiety hold you back, you deserve this.
Can you think of a place or activity you do where you feel at peace? Could you visualize this place while in class when you are feeling anxious. Would it be possible to take breaks and go for a quick walk halfway through?
I think redirecting your focus will be difficult but I think it is important. Try not to get discouraged if you notice yourself losing focus, simply redirect your attention.
I am still having problems leaving the house. Yes I know I have been out doing exposure lately with my safe person. Even so I am finding it difficult to leave the house to go out and get supplies with or without someone. Is anyone else having this problem??? When my husband was sick I went out once a month to get supplies and did this for at least 2 yrs. I had very little contact with people on the outside world for about 5 yrs during this time while he was sick. He became mute and I didn't hear my name spoken for 2 yrs, it was just the 2 of us here. I was always on high adrenalin. Anyway enough of that and back to the problem. I am having a hard time getting out of this mind set its like I am stuck. I am also having some problems being in the class I just started taking. I think maybe I was here so long in the quiet with no sound and no one close to me that am I having a problem with the close physical contact and all the constant movement and stimulus in the class. It makes it very hard for me to concentrate and focus on what the teacher is saying. This is a 3 hrs class which I am enjoying but by the time I get out of there I am physically and mental exhausted and have to come straight home to rest. I don't want to sound like a baby but I was wondering if I am ever going to adapt to the outside world. It is so very very hard.
If anyone has any suggestions I am more that willing to listen.
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