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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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The aftermath


14 years ago 0 538 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
KT,
You did fabulously! You rode the subway! You stayed for your whole shift! Big accomplishments.
You write that you praised yourself for only one second for being able to eat then the panic came?
I had an issue with being happy...I felt as though I didn't deserve to be happy, and when I was... something bad would have to happen to me. It took me years to understand why I felt like this. I still have to remind myself  that I deserve happiness  at times.
I know where it came from...my mother always says " hell  is on earth"... Her beliefs had been etched in me without me ever realizing. Subconsiously when I was happy or something good happened I waited for the "bad"..I'm sharing this with you  just in case you may have  similiar  thoughts inside. 
 Are you using the negative thougth sheets to analyse? If you write down the thoughts that make you feel dejected and question their value you will see they are not true!! There is so much  hope for you..... be proud of yourself. We're all proud of you.
Cleo
 
 
14 years ago 0 86 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
As Ashley and Davit have said, you are doing great.  It's true that those little things add up.  They really do.


14 years ago 0 420 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
KT,
You making progress and you did great. You were to stay on the subway and were able to stay a work all day.
These are big achievements.  It can be hard and depressing when everything doesn't go the way you want it to like when you were having lunch.  Try to not let it get you down because you are getting better and you are beating this thing.  It just takes time that all.  Like davit said it will get easier in time.  Try to challenge those anxious and negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts about how well you did and be proud of yourself.  You did great and you are winning one step at a time.
 
Red
14 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
KT,
 
I agree with Davit.  I think you did great! The more times you can push through the easier it will become.
 
Where does the saddness come from exactly?  I know it can be difficult when the panic keeps coming back but you are progressing just as you should. It will get easier and you should feel proud that you are working so hard to beat this.
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
KT

You did actually pretty good I think. Many would have ran screaming from the room after the after lunch attack. You need to work on not looking for how you feel, but telling yourself your fine even if your not. Looking brings the negative to the surface and you were already too close from the morning. I know it is hard not to think about how you are doing, but try. It will get better. Please don't block the sadness. Let it all out, wipe your eyes and laugh about how silly it is. Smiling and laughing reinforce the positive where frowning reinforces the negative. Just little things but they add up. Keep posting, where we can keep score for you. Progress is usually so slow you won't notice but we will. Besides it helps to vent.

Davit.
14 years ago 0 18 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Today was a really hard day.  I got fairly decent sleep, only one bout of anxiety in the early morning, and I felt pretty good going to work today.  I had a minor twinge of panic on the subway, but I got through it, and worked the first half of my shift being able to manage my fears pretty steadily.  After lunch, though, I praised myself for one second for being able to eat, and was immediately struck with panic.  It subsided after about half an hour, but I was left feeling sadder and more dejected than ever.  I'm proud that I stayed until my shift was over and didn't have any more attacks, but my sadness and depression, no matter how many times I've gone through this, I wasn't expecting, and I'm not sure how to deal.

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