It is a fact that although we can help it is still up to and about you. Just part of the journey which you are travelling very well indeed. Different books may use different words but the meaning is the same.
I'm practicing real hard to focus on my "now"... and it is a difficult task, but I've had a lot of revelations from them. This may be redundant, but an example will be that nothing can make me "happy" except me. Nothing can achieve this except me.. I felt some expectations loosen after realizing this. That's good you caught yourself dwelling... that is the action of being in the present (according to my book and it also said just watch it [your actions] but don't judge it... but if you do (like me) just watch that too)
“Focus on the journey, not the
destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing
it.”
Hi Red,
I'm so sorry to hear your story about your husband.I admire your strenght too.
Sorry I am so late answering your question about the 10 question list. The 10 question list is in your tool box under chapter 3 titled challenging negativity. Once you finish a chapter you can jump ahead to any chapter you want. They recommend you do the chapters in order because one plays on the other. I did read ahead when I started the program and found the 10 question list and have been using ever since. When you finish a chapter you will have access to more tools in your tool box, which you can then copy and print if you want. You can make yourself a folder if you like, kind of like taking a class. I hope I explained this clearly if not post back and I'll try to make more sense. I too was involved with the military. I am a Marine Corps widow. I was very strong for many years 27 to be exact and than I just kind of fell apart after my husband passed away with ptsd and dementia. It was a long battle and we fought it hard till the end. Anyway I am now just starting to put myself back together again and I am getting stronger. Being strong for your husband is a huge responsibility and it can be very stressful and cause a lot of anxiety, that was my experience anyway. I think working this program is going to help you a lot. I know it has helped me tremendously. I wish I had found it earlier while my husband was still alive. I think this program could of helped him/us. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Don't hesitate to ask questions. We are all here helping each other and we care. You are not alone in this.
Think of how strong you are, actually. Agoraphobia is not an easy thing to deal with, but here you are: dealing with it. You are taking steps to help yourself and that does take strength. Keep at it and I sure like the part where you said "Yah!!" to calming yourself out of a few potential attacks. You are giving yourself the credit you deserve and earned! :-)
You are so right. I hired a man who is 20 years younger to work in my garden. I got tired just following him around. Two days and most of it is done. I never realized how much time I put in Gardening or how hard it has got. Of course I just had to think about how much I have lost by getting older and getting arthritis. I know better but I did it any way. So yesterday was a depressing day. And today I had to take my car in for work and I had two appointments for dressing changes. Aside from being tired the day went well, everything got done with no panic. And tomorrow is another day. So here I am saying the past doesn't count and I do this dwelling on the past. Oh hell at least I caught myself at it and took the time to kick myself for it. We are not the persons we were years ago but it is so hard to let go and just get on with life. A little pushing is good but at some time we just have to accept that we are different and so are the times. I will just hire when I have to and drop the projects that don't need to be done. Right now I want to finish all the things I started and after that we shall see.
welcome to the site. That seems like a lot of pressure if you think you're not as strong anymore. Pressure causes a lot of anxiety for me. The person who you used to be does not exist anymore, now it's time to create a new you. Maybe in the past you had a 'stable' routine that you were able to rely on and got confidence from that... maybe now that everything's different, things are still wobbly? With time your courage will build up. You have all the right to your emotions whether you think they're reasonable or not. And just because everyone seems excited, it doesn't mean it will last for them either. Excitement is temporary, it's a high, just like our sadness is a low... and it will keep going up and down. I used to burry my low with the highs all the time, and the result was anxiety. Now I try to accept that things are the way they are... and that middle point between high and low is where peace is. Best wishes.
I am pretty new here too..3 weeks now.My test results were the same as Red's, so I was a little skeptical at first..but I am so glad that I found this spot...the people here really understand and give great help. I am also a military spouse who used to pride herself on her strength( being able to pick up, move and start over in new places across the country every few years). A part of me still feels like I'm weak, that I should be able to "snap out of it" whenever I want. I also feel like I have let my husband down by not being as strong as I think he would like. Like I used to be.
Rememeber...You are not alone! I have been asking the 10 questions to my negative thoughts and its really helping me see how unrealistic my fears can be. And how many negative thoughts I have in one day.. I never realized I thought that way so much. Since I've learned about the cycle of fear I see how much they contribute to panic episodes. I guess its all about educating ourselves.
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