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anger during anxiety


15 years ago 0 11 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for the tips on this everyone.  I am going to try and find some strategies to reduce the anger, and also communicate more with my loved ones about it.  I think maybe if I focus on self-care immediately in anxious situations, it may not get to the point where I am angry and lashing out at others. 
Here is an example of the latest situation involving anger: I went with my boyfriend to his grandpa's funeral.  I did not know most of the people there, and find that difficult to cope with.  Therefore, as my boyfriend knew, I was very anxious.  During and after the funeral, my boyfriend left me alone to visit with other family members.  My anxiety went through the roof.  So after the event was over, I told him that I felt angry at him for leaving me alone.  But is that really fair to him?  Should he have to "babysit" me during his grandpa's funeral, of all things?  Do I even have the right to be angry? 
I would really appreciate any comments anyone has on this.
15 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi. 

I have to agree with Sunny, word for word. You have to find a safe way to let off steam. I like the pillow punching bit.
Are you taking a SSRI. Anger can be a side effect. If so you'll just have to ride it out. Most people have anger during an attack ,they just aren't willing to admit it. Friends and familly need to know this is a symptom, IT'S NOT YOU. I hope this helps.
 Davit.
15 years ago 0 192 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi:  Have you told them how you feel in those situations?  and asked for a time out?  You could get communications going and explain it's nothing against them personally and you don't want to hurt them, just need some space for a few minutes.  I know some people who punch out their pillows for awhile when angry.  I even know someone who has a punching bag hanging in their basement and that's what they use.  How about a hot steamy shower or long soak in the tub? that relaxes the muscles...just some ideas...hope it helps.
15 years ago 0 11 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Yeah, I think you're right.  It's that way for me a lot of times.  Picking a fight.  Also, I found when I am feeling worse, I can't stand others-even those I love to be close to me.  For example, I really don't want a hug or to cuddle, etc.  Instead, I want to be angry and stay away from everyone.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but it does sadden me that I do that because I know it hurts others (e.g. my boyfriend).  But it's like a "gut" reaction that is difficult to challenge.  Hope this makes sese. 
15 years ago 0 192 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
This reminds me of when someone picks a fight and subconsciously they do it to relieve their own stress levels.  Now if that person they fight with, fights back and an argument begins, well, now they have a legitimate excuse for lashing out.  Something like that...
15 years ago 0 57 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I get angry in the middle of a full blown attack because Im so frustrated about letting it get that far. The attacks try my patience because I only have them at night when Im trying to go to sleep, which in turn irritates me because I LOVE my sleep LOL One time I was so irritated because I had an attack around 9PM, made my gf take me to CVS to check my blood pressure, and turns out (DUH) I was fine. I was embarrassed to no end. UGH. But I kinda felt relieved that she could actually see what I was going thru to help her better understand what the full blown attacks are like. She loves me and wants to be supportive but up until that point, I really felt like she thought I was jus feeding the frenzy I'd created in my head. And it was hard for me to explain it to her w/o lashing out and being angry. But I think she's better about it now
15 years ago 0 11 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi, thanks for the responses.  It's nice to know I'm not the only one experiencing this!  I am honestly not sure what will work for me.  I can get really wound up.  I think it's almost a way of denying my anxiety.  I do breathing exercises (e.g. progressive relaxation), and I find they take the edge off, but I'm still pretty irritable!
15 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi

I turn the anger towards myself and use it to force myself to do some thing I've been putting off. 
It gets rid of the anger and gets something done that needed to be done and may be the cause of the anger in the first place. This is where I'm going to disagree just a bit with Samantha, By all means try to relaxe, BUT, if there is a reason for the anger then it has to be dealt with or it will come back. On the other hand if it's just frustration then calming exercises work best for me. God I'm getting long winded today!
Peace 
Davit.
15 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
kittcat,
 
Do find what works to calm yourself down, and use these techniques when you experience irritability and anger. 
You may want to try relaxation techniques and adopt them into your routine. Here is a simple breathing exercise that you can try when you are feeling irritable. With shoulders back and tummy in, inhale deeply for a slow count of five, exhale for a slow count of five. Do five of these at a time. You can do this exercise anywhere and at anytime. 
 
Members, what works to help calm yourself down?
 
 
 


 

 

Samantha, Health Educator
15 years ago 0 9 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Yes i do. I suppose anxiety and anger are pretty similar, as they both consist of you being fired up with adrenaline. I think i must use it as a way to blow off steam to get angry and have an arguement. Im trying to go in the gym and excercise when im angry though so i dont upset people as much. have you find anything that works to calm yourself down?

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