I forgot to ask something...does anyone get freezing cold when they have anxiety or panic attacks? I seem to have that really bad! Just thought I would see if it was common!
Thank you Ashley! Yes he still does try to have the control over me and I cannot wait til court is over because he will have absolutely no control at all! I have bowling league tonight so I am going to try to get him and court out of my head! I also will be taking a Xanax tonight because I was a total mess today and last night not taking one. I see the dr tomorrow morning and I am excited to go over my options! I will be back on later to read other posts.
I think you are much better off without a person like that in your life. You will gain your control back. It is strange he is fighting you so hard just to get your stuff back. It's like he wants to maintain that control over you still. Thank goodness he will be out of your life soon.
I am sorry you are having a bad day. Post as much as you need. We are here listening.
Thank you for your kind words. I cannot have a lawyer because it is small claims court. I was very worried seeing him in court and not once did I make eye contact with him. I knew that if I did I would lose my composure. It was very hard because I still love him very much, although he is with someone else. I just don't understand how he can do that. We were supposed to get married next July and less than a month after I move out he moves someone new in. I want the control back in my life and he still has it somehow. I tried last night not taking Xanax and I was a mess. Today hasn't been so good either. Feeling aches and pains and heaviness on my chest. I guess I am not ready to stop the Xanax!
I am sorry court isn't going as planned. This must be very frustrating for you. You are being so strong!
I am not sure what advice I can give regarding this situation. Have you talked to a lawyer? Members, have you ever been through a similar situation?
It is so upsetting that they are lying about this. How ugly people can be when money is involved. The important thing is though that you are taking the higher road. They may win this court battle due to their lies but they still have to live with themselves after. You on the other hand can hold your head high knowing you have escaped such an ugly situation. This will be over soon. Stay strong. We are all rooting for you!
How did you feel when you saw your ex in court? I know you had mentioned you were worried about seeing him.
I am sorry I didn't give an update yesterday after court. I was a total wreck! After battling it out in the courtroom, the judge adjourned it for another 2 weeks. My ex-fiance and his mother (who caused most of our problems) both lied to the judge. I have no idea how this will go now and they have 2 more weeks to gather more witnesses to lie for them. I just don't know what to do anymore. This totally sucks...all I want is my stuff back or him to pay for them if he keeps them. It is affecting my credit and I showed paperwork as proof of ownership of the items. Any suggestions or advice that might help?
Thank you Davit. I appreciate the advice. You definitely nailed it when you said things get turned around to make me look bad. I also agree about loving someone and not liking them. I used to tell him that a lot...that I did not like him but I did love him! Tomorrow I am hoping to have my closure and be able to move on with my life. Thank you for your support!
Thank you Ashley. I can definitely answer those questions about him with a NO. I am glad that I am out of the relationship although thoughts keep coming into my head...the what if's. I know that I cannot change the past although I CAN control my future! I am excited that after tomorrow, he will have zero control over anything in my life. It is almost like he is holding my stuff as a last control effort. My Mom and my Aunt & Uncle will be with me at Court tomorrow. I wish all of you could be there as well! I will definitely take your motivational words with me and the advice! Thank you for replying.
I've been there but not so bad as you. The way these people work it is so you think it's your fault and you will dwell on that instead of thinking rationally and you will back out. I wish you could think "I'm going to win, I'm right, He's playing a game with me, I'm special, I can do better." etc. can you use that as a mantra to keep the other thoughts out. Love is strange. It's possible to love some one and not like them, been there done that. Some times it hurts to get out and start over. You need some time to think about it, but mostly you need an unbiased person to tell you how it looks to them because the situation is clouding you. I sure as the h--l won't tell you what to do. Like everyone else here, I'm on your side what ever you deside to do and you go into that court room with your head up because your not alone. We're there with you even if you can't see us. It sounds like you have it in hand so just go and win. And if you start to panic and get flustered take a deep breath and remember we're there with you.
It is hard to let go of a lost love. This grieving process is
normal but it does not mean that he was right for you. The lose of a
romantic relationship is a huge change and having court conflict makes
it that more unfortunate. That being said, do you want to go back with
him? Do you think that he can be a part of a fulfilling and healthy
life? If no, then accept these feelings as a part of the lose but know that you have made the right choice. It will be hard to see him at
court but it will make you a stronger person. You hold your head up
high in that court room. You are a very strong woman for doing this
and don't you forget that.
I wish we could all go there with you! Post as much as you like
to prepare yourself. Try to do some nice things for yourself and plan
a big reward for yourself when it is finished!
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