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What next

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 192

What exciting news! Some parents don't want to know, some do. I am thinking of you and hoping it goes well. Sorry to hear about that step back but nevermind concentrate on those steps forward, you have done steps forward of which you should be so proud....keep up the good work! Thanks for posting ...I feel happy for you. What joy.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Thanks sunny, yes it usually is 2 steps forward and one back, id been doing ok going into town, but didnt feel great when i went yesterday and so of course today im dreading going as i have my 2nd pregnancy scan today so because if yesterday im not looking forward to today which is dissapointing as ive been doing really well

just hope i can do it today so i can find out if im having a lil boy or girl

thank you zoe. ill keep you posted on how today goes xx

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 192

Hi Zoe: You are so welcome for anything I might have written to cheer you on! Way to go! Sometimes it's two steps forward and one back - but that one step back, as you get more outgoing, won't be as often. Have patience with yourself and don't forget the little pats on the back. p.s. don't worry about letting others down, you need to walk before you can run...(pardon the pun). Keep posting, we care.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Hiya, thanx again for your kind words and support,,i got a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye reading them, it means alot to me x since i last came on i have been round the block with my partner and today (my biggest acheivment) i went into town with just my partner and did a little shopping, i felt as if id let people down if i didnt go, so i made myself do it and really enjoyed it, i had a little anxiety but again nothing i couldnt deal with, i dont know why i have suddenly got the courage to try these things but were ever it has come from im not complaining

i know alot of it has got to do with this group so i want to thank you all for that, i know im still a long way from being "normal" but so far im enjoying my journey for the 1st time in 7 years.if i can start to get better then anyone can, im a very shy and quiet person with not much confidance but i can feel myself slowly getting back to the old me and im actually looking forward to the future and seeing my kids grow up.....never give up cos 1 day we will get were we are meant to be

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Zoe,

This is great goal setting and success! See that you are doing something and getting to the corner to meet your kids is a great step!

Sunny, great advice for Zoe!

Keep using the exposure therapy and let your loved ones know that you are doing this for you and today you are going this far only! Step by step and little by little you are progressing, see it a goal that you are reaching!

Reach out to us, we can help!

Josie, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 192

hi Zoe: congratulate yourself for going to the corner to meet your kids after school. That's great...no kidding, it means you go out of your way to be there for them (fear or no fear) it means you are a caring mom! You may still get a few jabs of anxiety doing it, but you are doing it, that is not failure, that is SUCCESS. so give yourself a pat on the back and a little treat - a new magazine, a bubble bath, whatever.

Have you tried a relaxation tape, muscle relax. tech. before you go to the corner? Sometimes preparing that way, deep breathing, helps. I know when I go for my long walks, if I feel the negative thought come round of "I'll be too weak to get back"; I acknowledge it as old thinking pattern, substitute with a new positive thought "my dog and I are having such a wonderful time" something like that, then I feel very proud when I get home and know that I DID it. these negative feelings don't mean you can't do it, they just come and go to annoy us. hahaha I just tell it to leave me alone, I'm doing it anyway.

Keep up the good work Zoe, and keep posting. We all care. Can't wait to hear if it's a girl or a boy!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Hiya, sorry ive not been on and thanks for all your advice, i really appreciate it, i can get to the end of my street and ive been doing that for the past few days meeting the kids after school and walking a little round the corner, but the anxiety is so much worse just doing that than it is when i go further with my mum and my mum and partner seem to think that now i have been out a few times i can easily just do it again and walk to the town centre with my fella, and them saying this is making me more anxious cos i dont want to let them down and i feel guilty n pressured into it and its making me feel so much worse, if i try to explain it to them i know wot there facial expressions will go like and they will just say well if you dont try you wont know, but going to town is quite far away from were i live, it takes around 15 mins in car takes about half hour to walk there and its just to much for me to do with my partner as i dont feel safe with him when im out. I know they are expecting me to do this next week. im feeling dissapointed in myself as ive not been out far since the other week and it puts u back loads when you miss a few days, as it says in the toolbox you should do something EVERY day, i just feel like a failure and im scared that im not going to be better by the time my baby is due, ive missed out on so much with my 2 daughters who are 9 and 11 now i dont wanna miss out on this baby to.

sorry for the rant x

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 192

Hi Zoe: I love your name...I wished at one time to be named Zoe. Congratulations on the baby.
I remember someone who was doing exposure work for going outdoors. Maybe you are already comfortable in your own backyard, but not taking the kids for a walk (?). What she did was this: first, for two-three days in a row she sat outside and had a cup of coffee or something like that, just outside her door, and would stay out, take some deep breaths, look around her surroundings for about 15 minutes. After that she walked to the corner of her street - if the corner is too far, you could make it half way let's say, then after doing this for a few days, she next took a walk every day as far as she felt comfortable, then home again. She did this for about two weeks if I remember correctly, then she said she felt pretty good, sometimes a little anxious, but kept on doing it. She took her time to notice things on her walk, never rushed it. Hope this idea helps. Walking exercise is good when you're pregnant anyway and hopefully you'll be able to take the baby on fresh-air walks later.

As for myself I remember I had one friend I could count on to call and I would ask her to just talk to me about anything at all - I could slow down my racing heart and then be able to converse a little and felt better. Just knowing she was there was a lifeline, I knew I wasn't alone. The phone call wasn't too long, 5-10 minutes did the trick.

keep up the good work!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

congratulations on the new baby zoe.

i found having someone i could phone helped me a lot when i was having an attack and couldnt control it as quickly i would have liked. I told them in advance of course about what happened during PA/anxiety and that i would call and what it would be about so they didnt get alarmed. This was often enough to get me back on track and kill the attack.

Do you have a good friend you can confide in and phone when mums not around? - a little reassurance that you know your not alone and helpless can take the edge off an attack.

I hope when you have your lovely baby in 5 months time you wont have any time for anxiety - you will be kept very busy!

You are getting there. keep going!!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Zoe!

You should feel very proud of yourself for accomplishing so much these last few days. Also, it is great that you want to continue to improve and continue to push yourself.

Have you talked to a counselor of someone who can take you through exposure therapy? You may find this very helpful for you.

It would be beneficial for you to try to get outside once a day, even if it just for 5 minutes. Is there anywhere close to you that you like to go? Could you possibly plan small trips throughout the week to go to places you enjoy going? Try to make a list of every place you can go and try working your way down that list.

Members, any suggestions?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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