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Cant cope anymore

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 123

Hi Zoe,

You're right, you should stay with your kids. For you to overcome what you're going through and show them you still love them, that's above and beyond more important then anything else. As for finding something that makes you happy, well you gotta search for it. Rule number one in this anxiety game, stop thinking about what you can't do, find things you can do and build from there.

As far as the relationship with your husband, if it's run it's course, then it's time for you to learn how to become friends. You'll both still have to take care of the kids, if you got along it would mean a lot to the kids as well. As far as how you do this, Michael had some great suggestions...start with what you can do and build from there.

Keep your head up, things always get harder before they get better! Cheers

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 94

ok you cant say you CANT do these things, yes you can theryres no such word as cant!! you have done them before and can do them again all on your own, start setting yourself goals just small ones like maybe takin the kids to school one day, i mean if there was noone else to take them you would have to you wouldnt let them stay at home because of it would you???why do you panic when your on your own?cant you get a friend to go with you shopping or a "safe person"?

no your kids would not be better of with the dad, i mean your there mum and they need you and always will. i am the same very touchy and moody and shouting alot, the best thing to do is if you feel this way is to walk away.

i personall think for councilling that if you do want to go for it you have to want the relationship to work and have your heart init, if its not i do nt see a point.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Hi all thanks for your replies, so far its just been another day of crying, and karlas your right the only reason im with him is because of the kids, i need him here to take the kids to school, do the shopping and i cant be on my own cause i panic, hes not violent, far from it, im just not in love with him anymore, not been for awhile, but its getting harder to live with now,

replies to your questions:

no im far from happy, im in it because i cant get out of it untell im better, my life if i was better would be so much better, id be alot happier but if not better then id have to move in with my mum which would be to much, and no im not still in love.

im sorry to hear you was in a violent relationship, that must of been awfull, x

things that make me happy, nothing at the moment, i cant honestly say one thing, obviously i love my kids but im just moody all the time and shouting, i feel like such a bad mum, and my girls deserver more than what they have, some days i just think how bout if i get up and leave, would the girls be better of staying with him? but i could never leave them, they my babies x

Thats another thing, like you have just said, the night times would be even worse than day times, how long have you been on your own? and when you split up was you able to go out? I hope you feel better soon x

michaelmj thanks for your reply and tips that you do, i will see if i can do what you have said, at the moment i dont know weather to just give up or carry on trying, feels like ive ben trying fir years but not getting anywere x

Faryal, thank you, no theres nothing specific, like i said im just not in love, i wish i was but its just not happening, i dont want to go to councelling, i think the relationship has run its course now, its been 10 years, long time for me lol met him when i was 17, i think we have both changed over the years and grown apart x

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 94

i have been in a bad relationship and you have to ask yourself questions;

are u happy? why are you still init? how would your life be without them/with them? are you in love with them?

but please dont stay with someone just because of the children, i did and was in a viloent relationship because of it till i had enough. you only live once so make it the best ever.

what are the things that ake you happy, reading? walking? spending time with your children? exercise? spending time with your mates?

i do feel the same at the moment i get very down at night time but i try to keep myself busy otherwise i just feel anxious and it ruining my life.

please try to be happy were all hear for you.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1

Zoe

Sometimes things can be overwhelming especially when you clump it into one big anxious ball. That is what I tend to do and it seems to make it worse. One of my coping strategies is to separate some of the things that are making me feel this way. The things I can change in the immediate is the first category, then I get busy on those. Next I list the big things and begin planing how I'm going to change those. Sometimes these can be years long but just knowing that I am working on it really makes it better. Usually when I starat to see change, even in the small things I feel better and I feel better. Don't give up it always seems darkest before the dawn

michael

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hello Zoe27,

You did the right thing by posting here - this is the perfect place to vent and feel heard.

6 years is a long time to endure the feelings you are dealing with and feeling stuck and unhappy is unhealthy for you and your kids. Is there something specific about your current relationship that is causing you to feel this way? Have you and your partner considered counselling?

Please do also review the program and tools available to you as they may be helpful for your current emotional state. We are all here to help you in any way we can so please do post often - we are here to support not to judge.

Faryal, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Im so fed up of feeling anxious 24/7, being stuck in this house 24/7, being in a unhappy relationship, being anxious when im in the house on my own/with my kids/with my fella, it just never stops, 6 years ive had this for and its just getting worse, im dreading christmas cos ill have to go out so the kids can have some kind of day, im stuck in a relationship i dont want to be in and cant ever see it changing, dont know how much longer i can do it for untell i just go absolutly insane, i need help but have no were or no one to turn to, im sick of being unhappy, sorry just needed to rant, feeling anxious as per

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Cant cope anymore