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I hate my day!


15 years ago 0 466 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Nice to hear, Doc!!  Kinda like the anxiety, it may be a trip ahead for both of you, but his willingness to try shows the first step has already been taken!  Cheers!
15 years ago 0 1693 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Diva,
 
Congratulations on all of your successes! You are right, it was quite the eventful few days!
Your husband cleaning the house, him going back to his new class, and him accepting to go to counselling with you....WOW!
So glad to hear that things are going well, and that you are hopeful. Hang on to that feeling Diva, and things will work out for the best
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
15 years ago 0 778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well Diva thats quite a post ! Awwwwww well done to your hubby , the sweetheart . Fingers crossed he'll keep it up lol . As for going to councelling with you , result !!!! Well chuffed for you  .
15 years ago 0 477 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I am so glad to read all the things he's tried to do! I feel hopeful myself! I'm sure that there are up and downs, but I hope you both remember that there are ups too! And I think you guys do!
15 years ago 0 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi guys,
 
Thank you for your support! It helps so much. I managed to read it all this weekend but had little time to reply, sorry.
 
After posting Friday, I quitle and candidly told mu husband how I felt.  It looked like ho would get angry, but then he calmed down and listened, So friday night he invited me to supper out with him. Then he watched a movie with me. and we went to bed. It was a nice peace offering of him.
 
Sorry the rest of this post is cut and pasted from somewhere else. So sorry, head hurts badly. here goes:
 
Well as for the deadline issue, I spent all wekend with my mom and have managed to finish the bigger part of my work. Tuesday I need to get to the lab and finish up some work but besides that my first draft is done! Woohoo! Yay! Woot!
 
(felt anxious this weekend and thought a lot of you guys and came and read the forums here and it kept me going. Btw, the running commentary inside the parenthesis is not cut and pasted. It is written to you lovely Panic Center folks!)
 
I feel worried though that my boss will be displeased with my work especially since I turned it in late... But hey, I did my best and most of it is done now. It was a tough paper to write but I am happy with it, I still hope my boss likes it lol.
 
(why is it I am always so anxious when turning in stuff even though I worked so hard?)
 
As for my husband, well, I am not sure what to think. I came home and BAM! I saw that he had cleaned the house! I was aware that he had cleaned a bit, he had told me as much on the phone when we spoke, but I had no idea how much he had done. So it seems that although he did play while I was gone, he did take time to do a lot of homework during those two days I was not home. The bedroom is perfect. Even the bed is made. He vaccumed in there and dusted! The bathroom is spotless. The chrome is shining and the floor has been mopped! The office is all clean and the guest bed sheets have been washed! the vaccum is done, well everywhere in the house. The carpet feels fluffy lol. On top of it, the kitchen is clean. There are a few dishes in the sink, and a few clean dishes to put away but the kitchen is very nice and the floor has been mopped. Finally I can see he has started tackling the mess we had in the dining room and living room! The floors are all mopped or vaccumed in those two rooms. There is still a few things to put away and paperwork to go through but it is still a very nice improvement! Plus he says we will finish up the rest later this week!
 
Oh and he actually going back to his new class! He had started last week but I was afraid to hope. But he is going back next week and has said he likes his teacher. He seems to be commited to going back to school this time. so here is to hoping it goes well for him. He is starting with just one class.But I know if it goes well it will motivate him to try more.
 
So as you can see this has been a rollercoaster ride for me. I was shocked to see how much work he did while I was gone. Ok, so right now he is sitting at his computer playing but I figure he deserves a break lol. Funny but right now, the video game playing does not bother me one bit!
 
When I came home I thanked him, a lot, for the great housework he did. I also made sure to unpack my overnight bags immediately and to put all my things away. Upkeeping what he had done was the least I could do! I am very impressed. I am still a bit afraid that this is just a phase to placate my anger, but I am beginning to feel a bit hopeful that he really does want to make an effort to keep me and to work with me. I am trying to be open minded and accepting of all this. I do love him and right now I am beginning to feel hopeful again. I really feel like I am on a rollercoaster!
 
Oh and he also accepted to go to councelling with me. Wow quite the week!
 
(So, weird huh how from one day to the next my situation just fluctuates so much. For an anxious person with adaptation issues this has been quite the week. Right now I feel so high strung I can't seem to stop fidgeting and talking loud. And that does not help my headache lol.So I will go. sorry for the novel. It has just been quite an eventful 3-4 days! Again, the running commentary, not cut and pasted lol)
 
Have a good night all! I will go nurse my head and my pride.
15 years ago 0 477 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Diva,
You sound just like me a few weeks ago. But of course we are in different situations. All I know, is if you still believe in love, keep trying til you feel like throwing up.. I know this is bad, and harsh but that is what I did... and he STILL til this day has not turned around or came begging back for me. I now know after I gave EVERYTHING that I had left, he still won't bring in anything himself. I am finish. Relationships take two efforts not just one and even if one knows this and the love is there, we must compromise to make a marriage work. If one doesn't the other is pretty much married to a wall. Give all that you can so you don't have any regrets... but make sure it is a great fight. If he still doesn't budge, he doesn't deserve you. Take care, Diva, You are great!!! And you deserve to be happy!!!

15 years ago 0 778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Oh Diva i also am at a loss of what to advice . I have been where you are a few times in my life . Times i hated my husband with a passion . I even left him once with the four kids i had at the time all of one night . He came to my mums begging and pleading he will change . Yep all of a month or so . If i didnt have kids i would have spilt i know i would have . I put up with alot over the years more than enough and stayed stum for the quiet life . But it eats at you bit by bit . He is the worlds carpest talker for himself , great at advice for others like  so he really should take his own advice at times . I know people change over the years , that stands to reason . But when someone is doing all the taking its just not fair .
He's not always a um shall we say pain  that was a very polite word cos its not what was in my head ! I couldnt get him to marriage counselling , do you think yours would ?
It is so horrible living seperate lives in the same house , i hope you decide what to do one way or the other . You are doing great with other things and they would be even greater if you had some love , help and stability right now .
 
I gotcha back hun xxxxx
15 years ago 0 466 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You really are getting the best and worst of times right now.  Such a spiral of emotions can really be confusing.  I wish I had the right words to help, but all I have to give is my support.  But make no doubt, especially for all you've helped me with, you have it.
15 years ago 0 1693 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Diva,
 
Congrats on your successes! You went out for dinner and lunch today solo, you went to class, and you have not been fighting with your hubby today .
I am so sorry that you are feeling down. Do you think telling your husband exactly how you felt would help?
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
15 years ago 0 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi guys,
 
I am not feeling so hot today. But I did go to my class and I did have one good moment today. I even had one yesterday. Last night after I left the library I walked to one of the local pub where the kitchen is open late and I went there to eat out on my own. I felt so alive and so free! As such I repeated the experience today and went to eat near school on my own.
 
My class went well. I have not been fighting with hubby today. I am holding my tong when I feel like being mean. I know that I have my part in the problems in our marriage, I am far from perfect. Right now he is playing his video games, so I put some really loud music to drown out the mouse clicks. Plus I felt like being loud lol.I feel alone. I feel scared. Mostly I feel like yesterday something broke. Through all theese years of marriage I fought and fought hard to make sure we stayed together. Put tons of efforts in this. I always had hope that because we love each other things would get better. I always had that hope. And that hope gave me the energy to put in all the efforts I did. But now, it is broken. That hope is gone. I still love him and yet I cannot seem to find that hope, that hope that it will get better. I feel like it won't get better no matter what I say or do. I feel like it won't get better. I feel broken inside. I feel lost and afraid without that hope. Yesterday broke that somehow and I don't know how to get it back. So I am sitting here crying and typing with the music loud enough so I cannot here the mouse clicking, symbol of all of what is wrong. I feel alone and sad and scared. But I am still here. I am tired. I should go rest. This might sound stupid but right now I miss my cat. He was always the one to cuddle with me and purr till I felt better. I miss him.
 
What do I do now? I do love him, my husband, I just don't know if I can live like this. I feel so hurt and angry and alone...And yet when I think of my life without him I cannot breathe...What doI do?

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