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Bad PA today. Just venting.

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Bad PA today. Just venting.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 778

Hello Gene , i know exatly where your coming from . I first started getting PA's in 2006 . I had never been so frightened in all my life . Always been a 'worrier' but that was all or so i thought . Anyway it went on for quite a few months and i went on meds . I started feeling better so stupidly stopped taking my meds . I ignored every sign going .

This January they came back twice as bad as before , was in hell for months with 10+ attacks a day . But thank God i found here because it has taught me so much . I am so grateful for it and the lovely people . Yes i do dread more attacks and i did have my biggest a few weeks ago but i handled it pretty well , i did have to take a dizapam becuase my teeth were actually clashing but i didnt freak out and got over it the next day . Before i would have been sat all wide eyed , stomach churning waiting for the next one . I only had that PA because of the thought of my up and coming operation .

I know im waffling about myself but my point is that two years ago i had nothing , no info , no plan of action and i got a hell of alot worse . But this time i have here and i can see the difference .

Really dont know if i have helped you here or confused you even more . Sorry if thats the case !

You sound like you have a pretty full and active life . Its good that you love the gym , thats so good for stress/axiety . Um not that i have ever gone

Vent away all you need , we are here to listen , help and advice whatever you need .

Take care CD

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Hi Miki

Guess you are right. I need to change my mindset that PAs are such a bad experience. I don't let them change my life in any major way. I get up, go to work and do things which cause me anxiety. I had my first PA in the gym. These days I associate the gym with PAs and hyperventilating so when I enter the gym I begin to hyperventilate and freak out a bit. This is something I need to unlearn. But the point is that I still go to gym five times a week. It just gets me down when I have been feeling so great. I welcome PAs when I am in the cycle of panic. They don't scare me. But when there is no anxiety in your life a PA feels so unwanted and uncomfortable.

But anyway. I am off to work. It's another day and hopefully today will be better than previous relapses!

Thanks Miki.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

Hello Genejockey,

I think avoiding caffine is a good idea because it's main purpose is to get you jittery. It is not good for you and for many they can handle it, maybe you're body cannot. I think it is different from avoiding situations because it's a chemical to keep you awake and alter your chemicals in your body.

I also feel that maybe the fact that you think your PAs will be more uncomfortable when you have them less often makes them be triggered after all. I feel like they are more controllable after I know that even if I have a PA I can still get things done. It sounds like you are making PAs more of an enemy and that is why it is being an enemy to you. I know this is a weird mindset but after I said it's ok to have PAs, it doesn't bother me as much.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Hi Cornish-Dee. Thanks for responding. It is very cathartic using this forum to just write down my thoughts and vent a bit . Especially when somebody responds with some encouraging words :)

Nearly three and a half months. I have had weeks were it bothers me very little and I have no panic attacks but it seems that the further they are apart the worse they are and thereby I fear them even more. If that makes any sense. Also, after a bad PA I seem to loose all my sense of well being and slump into a depression. At the moment I am just afraid of the next few days of being unsettled, anxious and depressed. I think the GAD that follows a PA is far worse than the PA's themselves. Its like I have fear of panic disorder more than fear of panic attacks!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Genejockey,

Sorry to hear that your day went a bit sour. Maybe instead of cutting coffee out of your routine, you can just cut down? It sounds like you were doing great, and I think you still are. I know it is difficult, but try not to let your PA get you down. Focus on how well you are doing and on all of the progress that you have made.

As you know, we're always here for you, no matter what.

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 778

Hello Genejockey , so sorry to here of your panic attack . They suck big time , and yes the fear of the next one is the worst . Espically when youv'e felt so good for awhile . I am lucky because i dont actually think coffee sets me off , i drink an awful lot aday .

How long have you been getting panic attacks ?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Arghhhh. I am so irritated. I had a great day today until about 4'o clock when I decided to have another cup of coffee. This made me so edgy and shaky that it triggered a huge PA. I haven't had a proper PA for a couple of weeks and I have been feeling so good in general. I am so afraid that now for next few days that I will experience the awful sensation of GAD. Constantly worrying about the next PA... As I am writing this I feel drunk on adrenaline. I have literally been staggering around like an old drunk yet I am of course stone sober.

The last few days have been wonderful. This morning I spent hours completely by myself where I was even totally bored and yet I didn't feel at all panicky. Hours went by when the thought of anxiety didn't even enter my mind.

The worst thing is that the further I move away from a PA the more the sensations feel so unfamiliar and thus when I have one it feels so uncomfortable that it triggers a massive PA and days of GAD. So I have no idea how to escape the cycle. I am able to feel better and better but the moment I start to feel great and I want to "pat myself on the back" I have a huge PA which sets off the entire process again and again. Arhhhhhhhhhhh!

I know that caffeine can set off panic but I feel as if not drinking coffee is also just avoidance. Something which I refuse to do. Oh well. May the cycle begin again...

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Bad PA today. Just venting.