I agree with Sylvie, don't fake being happy but challenge and replace your thoughts. Mostly live the present moment and be good and nice and patient with yourself. You deserve it. I am glad my post might have helped you in your reflexion on the subject. Hang in there, this too shall pass! -Diva

Miki, That's a great idea. You shouldn't have to fake being happy but if you try and see the lighter side of things and try to change your thinking pattern to a more positive one, with time it wont seem like work anymore. When you have a negative thought erase it and replace it with a positive one. Sylvie

Thanks Sylvie for the support!

Hi Diva, Thank you for the addition. It really shows the strength in you. The worrying and warding off the bad things is exactly what I was talking about. It was like some type of hypnosis I did for myself.. but instead it went out of control in the last years to give me fear. I also notice myself holding on to the past. When I'm struggling through this 'phase,' I'm always longing for the better me that existed in the past, comparing myself to the past me. Once in awhile, I question myself at who decided that the past me was any better, or any happier. I also want to escape and get out of this struggle quickly and that is where I am wanting the future. I often forget to live my present. I did not like to "lie" to myself before so I never considered this, but some people can make themselves happier with "self delusions". "Fake it until, you make it." Maybe I need to pretend to be happy to become happy. Or in more reasonable terms, "Practice makes perfect." A friend of mine said "If you have joy, spread it. If you don't, clear your mind and start from zero. For your own sake, forget everything. You can always start over."-E. C. M. My goal is to practice and remind myself being happy. Until it becomes automatic. Best of luck to you Diva, and thanks again for adding a lot of new views for me. "I know how to be the author of my own happy ending." I will catch up to you.

Hi Miki, I wanted to thank you for sharing this with us. Thank you for sharing your experience and what you have learned with us.I thinmk this is an incredibly generous thing to do. Lately I haven't been posting much for I have been sooo busy with the end of my diploma and handing in my thesis. But this post moved me to answer so here it is. So here are some things I have realized about my worries or that I realized because of my anxiety. My worries are often unrealistic or unlikely. If I validate my thoughts with people i trust and if I take the time to really take a step back and look at wether or not my "scenarios are likely" i end up realising I blew everything out of proportion and that it is unlikely anything as bad would happen. In a way it is like I used to think if I worried enough I could prepare for anything and it was almost like if I could worry enough I could ward off bad things from happening. Now I know that I cannot possibly prepare for anything and that as much as I worry it won't stop things from happenning however they must happen. All my worrying does is make me feel miserable. It ruins the only real thing I have control over, the present. So I ruined my present in case something bad happens in the future. Now, I try to live in the Now. To make the best of Now, which is where I have freedom and power. And if the worse does happen I trust that I can handle it. And the beauty is, I have handle some doozies since I came to this realization and guess what, I am still ok, I am still standing. I have realized that living in the present moment is the best way to enjoy every moment of your life The oast is gone and we cannot change it anymore. The future hasn't happened yet and we can't do anything for it. In the present tho we can act, we can do things anf influence things. In the present is where I have potential for happinness and freedom and power over my life. I realized that panic attacks and the symptom of anxiety really won't kill me. It doesn't mean I don't have to take care of myself. Taking care of myself is a good way to be happy and healthy.But I know this won't kill me. I have realized that I am much tougher then I thought. I also realized that my experiences with anxiety have not made me weaker in the least. I have gone though some really tough things with this anxiety and I have comme out in a position I consider as being on top. I know that whatever comes my way, I will come out on top too. I have become my own knight in shining armor and I know how to care for myself. I know how to be the author of my own happy ending. Well I guess there is more I could say but this is already a super long post and as always I am pressed for time. Once again thanks Miki for sharing and starting this thread. I hope you don't mind that I jumped on the band wagon, I just thought this was a beautiful thread :) -Diva

Hi Miki, Welcome to our support community. It's refreshing to read such a positive post! You're right, struggles are part of every day life, but it's the way we perceive them that makes a difference. You are strong for coming here and sharing with us. Keep persevering! Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator

Hello everyone! I have been seeing my therapist for about a month now and there are some things that we've realized about my worries. My worries are all automatic... it happens before I start to do anything. My therapist realized that it seems like I get some sort of relief in preparing myself for the worst. I do remember that as a child, I felt relief at expecting the worst so that the slightest better would feel best. Now I realize that worry is there for preparation... and preparation can be a good thing if I just let it stop there. "Prepare for worst. Done. And move on." Would be a controlled strategy. But if I let the worry control me... it leads to another and another and another, which ends up frightening me. I've also read in "Tuesdays with Morrie" book that one needs to accept what we are feeling... "Ok, this is fear that I am feeling." Acknowledge it, understand it, and say STOP and let go.. to move on to the next emotion. (Easier said then done, I know... but something to think about, for sure.) My therapist also mentioned my lack of confidence. I don't trust and believe in the positive half of predictions. I don't give myself respect that I can handle the worst. I believe there is no strength in me. But, like the "Wizard of Oz", strength, confidence, and all the qualities I fear I lack may really already be inside of me. People have told me "you are stronger than you think" and maybe they are right? I try to remind myself of all these "things to think about" to move small steps forward. I hope they bring something, anything to the rest of you too. Anxiety is here for a reason... maybe to help us realize a lot of things we need to learn to become who we really are. It is hard for me to believe in this most of the time, but I think there is something 'good' in this experience we are going through. It just takes A LOT of time... and patience. But we will come out 100 times stronger and wiser. (I wish I can tell this to myself when I'm having an attack!)