Hi lindzardz, Thanks for sharing these thoughts here. You have received some wonderful support and advice from your fellow members. Know that help is available. In addition to following up with your therapist, be sure to take advantage of the online program here. You may find it helpful in addressing these concerns and helping you gain back control over your feelings of anxiety. Keep us posted, Casey ________________________ The PC Support Team

Well, I havent had DP in a while but i did relapse in December and i know how that is like. I have also had severe depressions and know what that feels like too1 I find myself at a lack for words of wisdom tonight but i did want to say hang in there. I agree with Lorlee, be good to yourself, connect with your girl friends talk be honest with them and yourself. Mostly take care of yourself and remember that you arer precious and to love yourself. Be kind and patient with yourself :) You deserve it! Hang in there, you can do this. Remember: This too shall pass! -Diva

Dear Lindzardz, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can relate to what you are saying. I had an existential experience last night that freaked me out. The usual stuff like how big the universe is, why am I here, who made me, blah blah blah. I had to focus on something else to stop that thinking. I'm not sure what kind of things you are into but finding something you enjoy to do can re-focus your energy on a positive thing and thinking. I would also suggest looking into creative visualization. I have spoken of this before on this site. There are two that I try to do when I need to stop the negative thoughts. One is to see myself sitting in a movie theatre alone, the screen is white, and I see a word (I use the #1 or STOP) flash on the screen. I breathe in then the word shows up on the screen and as I slowly exhale the word disappears. The second one I do is I am walking in the desert and I see a sandstorm coming towards me, I have a knapsack on my back which is filled with all the items I need to protect me (tent,light,water,etc.)and I set everything up and go inside the tent till the storm (anxiety)passes. You can adapt the situation in any way you like. Find the one that works for you. I would go to the library or check online about visulization techniques. I don't know how old you are Lindzardz but I can tell you from personal experience that being with people sexually when you are feeling so crummy is like putting a bandaid on a gaping wound. It is so important for you to take care of yourself. You need to put yourself first. It is a temporary solution to long-term problem. I am the last person who would ever sit in judgement of anothers sexuality/sex life but I can tell you it did me no good in the long run. Now is the time to lean on your friends especially girlfriends and be open and honest with them about what you are going through. You need alot of support around you at this time. Be kind to yourself and remember what we do does not makes us what we truly are. People in pain don't always make the healthiest choices but the bottom line is it's still is a choice. If you need to talk some more I am here for you. If you want add me to your buddy list and maybe we can connect up. I am usually on in the morni

hey all! well i am finally posting in here again after 3 months of some really hard stuff...basically, about 5 months ago i relapsed and started experiencing severe anxiety...it got to the point where i had no idea who i was, where i was, i had horrible existential angst where all i did was question the universe, the purpose of life, where everything came from, if i was really alive yadda yadda....it was so bad i got to the point of not really functioning and ended up checking myself into an unlocked psych facility at stanford. i was there almost 2 weeks to get back on meds, start eating again (bc this stopped and i lost soooo much weight), and just try to pull myself together. well, i started to "pull myself together" and i started feeling a bit better. got a new psychologist, meds kicked in and i stopped questioning the purpose of life so much. well here is my problem. the past 3 weeks ive been feeling worse again. not time for psych hopsital worse, just not great. my meds just dont seem to ever feel right (im on 4.5mg of lexapro bc 4 isnt enough and 5 is too much- yes im sensitive) but even now, they make me feel kinda of cracked out, but 4mg just isnt doing it.....ive been trying to stay strong and go with the flow and not let this little setback mean i will get as bad as i was just 2 months ago...but its hard to believe that always. when i start questioning reality and my depersonalization gets bad enough, its hard to really relax. i have DP (depersonalization) pretty much all of the time since this all started...theres just times its more tolerable than others. but lately its getting to me, im scaring myself and i worry all the work ive done will fall to pieces. my therapist asked me what wouldve helped me more before i went to the hospital and i told her feeling more connected to people, like i had a network, a support group to fall back on, wouldve really helped. so i started working on that and trying to let those close to me come in a bit closer (im not good at this)....but the past few months ive been having quite a few boy problems...lots of disappointments, lots of bad decisions and i think this has a lot to do with my anxiety. feeling like i cant just be ok without a guy around, or more that i just dont feel ok by myself anymore. i used to love