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Past experienced about judgement & criticism


2 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 1

Hi Grapeseed,

Writing down your thoughts doesn't have to be in the form of journaling. You could just write a few positive points down or set a reminder to think about things you are grateful for throughout the day.

I also recommend working on the depression program. Understanding how to challenge negative thinking might be very helpful for you. There is also information on core beliefs. The entire depression course may help you to think more positively.

If you run into any questions while completing the program, be sure to let us know.

Take care,

Ashley

2 years ago +1 71 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 1

I am always judging myself. I tend to be very hard on myself. This has gotten better since I gave up alcohol tho.

I still tend to be a bit of a bully with myself. I'm starting to realize this might be why I turn to other substances to cope. I definitely focus on the negstives I hear more then the positives. I thought that was just a me thing. It's kind of comforting knowing we all do that. I really need to focus on my positives more. My girlfriend says I should write positive things down so that I remember...but I'm not the big of a journaller. Does anyone have any good tricks to help you focus on the positives? I've been feeling down lately and really need to make a change.

2 years ago +2 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 2

Hi Anna,

Good job answering the questions. Thank you for sharing your answers with us.

What jumped out at me is that your boss compliments you. Not all bosses are quick to compliment, so I take that as a huge positive. It is strange, but the human brain tend to hang on to negative things more so then positive things. For example, if your boss gave you 50 compliments but one negative complaint, it is common for people to focus on the one negative. Do you find yourself doing that? How can you be more mindful of the positive feedback? How can you remind yourself of the positive feedback when you are feeling down on yourself?

Take care

Ashley

2 years ago 0 8 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Hi Ashley,

It took me weeks to answer this questions.

Maybe you are right, there is no perfect answer for this questions, but to give some of my insights, I will try to answer this.

  1. Maybe in this kind of situation, I will question myself and if this question hits me so bad I will start thinking and thinking and eventually it will become reality to me. What if I'm not doing the right thing, it is more likely asking my worth that I'm afraid to answer.
  2. To be honest, I always failed to handle this kind of moments in my life, other's may seem me okay but I always dig deeper that they can ever imagine.
  3. There is no evidence only the thoughts, words of the people around me.
  4. Yeah, my boss always compliment me that I'm good on what I'm doing, but I guess my mortal enemy is myself. Because there is a time that my fighting spirit is not there.
  5. Maybe it will be a hassle.
  6. I don't know still


But now, as I continue this journey I realized how lucky I am, and there is so many things I can do and I can provide without the judgement of others and myself.


2 years ago +4 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 3

Hi Anna,

The questions can be challenging to answer. Do not aim for a perfect answer, just brainstorm what the answers could look like for you. If you ever feel like working on these questions, we are here to help.

How are you doing today?

Ashley


.

2 years ago +3 8 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 3

Yeah you're right, maybe because I cared a lot about what people may think about me and I started acting like not myself in front of them. But one thing for sure I will compose myself from now on and focused on my goal.

And to be honest, because of this discussion I don't know how to answer this questions.

  • What if you are not doing the right thing?
  • How will you handle it?
  • Is there evidence you are not doing the right thing?
  • Is there evidence you are doing the right thing?
  • If you aren't doing the right thing would it be a hassle or a horror?
  • How would you cope?


There is no exact explanation on my end on how I may work with this, but I will try to believe in me first.

Thanks a lot Ashley ♥

2 years ago (Edited 2 years ago) +2 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 2

Hi Anna,

It's very normal to feel nervous and a little unsure when starting a new job. Working through those insecurities can take effort but it can be helpful to examine your fears. You asked, "what if I am not doing the right thing," Let's examine that.

  • What if you are not doing the right thing?
  • How will you handle it?
  • Is there evidence you are not doing the right thing?
  • Is there evidence you are doing the right thing?
  • If you aren't doing the right thing would it be a hassle or a horror?
  • How would you cope?


Often when we question or insecure or negative thoughts we can overcome them or at least take back some of the power. To look at more questions to challenge negativity check out chapter 3 of the anxiety course.

How would you answer the above questions?

Take care,

Ashley

2 years ago +2 8 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 2

Working now a days is very important and at the same time it is tricky; because of today's situation, but getting back to work from a traumatic experience from my previous job is what terrifies me the most. The questions are; what if I am not doing the right thing, what if I am not suited in this field anymore etc... This is some of the thoughts that I always run into.

Actually, criticism is a big word to begin with, because sometimes us without even knowing, the people who criticized or judged you is the person you share your life with. You will feel at some point that you are suffocated and you want to end it, just walk away and leave it all behind, but you can't because you have a lot of things going on, like family to support with, debts, bills and many more. And today what pushes me to be better is; I want myself to boost me, to love me, to care about me and to rejoice all the good things that may happen in this new chapter of my life.

Some may think is it a simple problem that a kindergarten can easily solve, but if you felt insecure within you, it is actually very hard to overcome because a lot of things are damaged, and you don't have the answers or solutions to fixed it.

But hopefully with my new job, I will start to love myself confidently for what I really was and be more patient in God's perfect time, because I guess we may feel down sometimes, optimistic on the other day, but it is all NATURAL because we have feelings and we are HUMANS.


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