Thanks again Lynn

Your words really resonate with me. It is really good to hear you don't miss alcohol. I can't imagine that but knowing you are experiencing that gives me hope. If I am being honest I am still not quite ready to give it up yet but I am going to keep preparing my mind by coming here and reading. Just reading is making me inche forward to change I think. I figure if I keep thinking about it I will at least get to it at some point. I at least drank less the last few days and managed to get some creative projects done. I find putting energy towards a creative hobby really feeds me. I imagine when I stop drinking I will have a lot more energy for things that actually nourishes me and not depletes me.

Thanks again for listening and responding. It means a lot to me.

Pumpkinss,

I can’t speak for everyone, but the feeling of being stuck when trying to give up alcohol is probably common. I know I had the same feeling. I wanted to give up alcohol because I knew I needed to, not because I wanted to. Like you, I couldn’t imagine living my life without alcohol. How would I ever have fun without alcohol? 

You asked some questions about my life without alcohol. Without hesitation, I tell you that I do not feel I’m missing out on anything. Quite the opposite, life has improved dramatically.  All those negative feelings are gone. Those countless hours of thinking about drinking, planning to drink, or recovering from drinking, are now spent doing other things. Whatever I want to do.

I tried stopping and/or moderating many times before I finally gave it up. There never seemed to be a “good” time. There was always a good reason for a drink. A happy time, sad time, good day at work, bad day at work, a holiday, or just a boring day.  All good times for a drink. It seems you are looking for your “good” time to work on your drinking. Ultimately that time will be whenever you decide to take control. We don’t have control over a lot of things in this world, but we do have control over ourselves. It’s up to you to decide when that time is for you.

We have all come to this site for the same reason. You are not alone, and you are understood. Post any questions you have. I, or someone else, will be here to give their thoughts or to listen to a vent.  

Hello Lynn

Thank you for responding and listening. I appreciate it a lot. Just knowing someone else can relate and got through it means more to me then you know. Thank you also for reflecting back what I am saying. Alcohol makes me feel good and bad at the same time. No wonder I get stuck when trying to stop. This month is the worst for me, as this time of year is a favourite for my family and friends. We all really love halloween and anytime there is celebration... you know what accommpanies that... alcohol. It is so hard for me to say no when so many people are offering me drinks and my hubby is bringing me home drinks to celebrate the season. Ugh. I told him I wanted to try not drinking for a week and he agreed but then he ended up bringing home alcohol anyways. Less then we normally have and I was actually happy when he brought it home. I can't be mad it him for it because I am always happy when he brings booze home. I think I need to be more stern with it but maybe next month would be a better months to stop for awhile. It is so hard because there is always a "good" excuse to drink. I am drinking pretty moderately latetly but I know more then I should.

As I am writing this I know the winter holidays are coming up soon too and everyone loves to drink on those holidays as well. How do you get through the holidays now that you don't drink? Do you feel like you are missing out? How do you beat the cravings and are able to say no when offered a drink?!

Thanks so very much for all you said

Pumpkinss,

Yes, I am listening, and I can relate to many things you said in your post.  I had those same feeling years ago before I gave up alcohol. It seems that you are in a struggle. Knowing that you should lessen the amount you are drinking but finding it hard to let go. I get that. I lived that.   

As I read your post again to make this response, I noticed two interesting statements. You first mention that drinking is sapping your energy and affecting your moods. You follow that by saying that it helps you relax. Why is it so hard to control what we think is helping us?  That’s obviously a rhetorical question. I certainly don’t have an answer and that’s why I decided to cut out alcohol completely. It was easier for me to take complete control rather than give alcohol some control every now and then. 

This a great place to express your thoughts, concerns, or just to vent. You will find support here. Welcome!

Lynn

I figured I would introduce myself. I am from Florida and have three kids. I am happy in my life but I have been feeling depressed. I think it is because I tend to drink most evenings after the kids go to sleep. It is sapping my energy and I know it effects my moods. I have tried to cut back multiple times but it never sticks. I guess, I just like drinking too much. It helps me relax. It is my only "me" time I have. When I don't drink in the evenings I tend to feel like something is missing. I know I just have to do it but I can't bring myself to be consistent. It doesn't help that the few girlfriends I have also like their wine. I thought I would post here to hear from people who are cutting back successfully. I want to drink less but I also don't. Does anyone relate? I need motivation. I keep coming up with reasons not to cut back everytime I decide to cut back. I feel extreme guilt because I know I would be a more energetic, happy parent if I drank less.Feeling guilty tends to make me want to drink more. I feel like a mess. Anyone out there listening?