Thank you Ashley!
The weekend is here and I think the viewers on this site are experiencing a variety of emotions. To those that have experienced a victory this week, congratulations. I have heard it said, and in my experience I find it to be true, our brain likes success. It doesn’t matter how small, but little successes make us want to continue working. Small victories add up and it makes us want to increase our goals.
To those that have struggled, I would like to offer a suggestion. To give your brain something positive to work with, examine your goals and see if you could lower one of them. If your goal is to not drink for a day, maybe just delay your start time for that day. If you’re able to do that, continue for a few days and then increase the time slowly.
The journey we are on is not a sprint, it’s a never ending endeavor that will have its highs and lows. Giving yourself some highs along the way just may make what seems impossible, possible.
Good luck everyone and stay strong!
Ashley,
I will be spending my weekend sober. :) I live in an area that rarely gets too cold to enjoy time outside, so I will be heading out soon for a bicycle trail ride. After that I’ll spend some time with my dogs and wife. No big plans and I love it. Since I became sober one of the things I enjoy is the freedom of not having to plan my day around drinking. Now I just let the weekend unfold.
I used to think that giving up alcohol was giving up something I loved. Now a realize that giving up alcohol allows me to love the things in my life that are worth loving. Thank you again Ashley for the advice you gave me years ago!
Lynn
I’ve been thinking about habits, not just drinking, but all types of habits. How we fall into them, and how we get out of them. This time of year is a time that people choose to break a habit or create a new habit. I have no idea how long it takes to officially develop a habit, but I’m familiar with how long it takes to break them. I used to coach basketball and players would often come into my program with basketball habits that were not the best.
I’m not a professional, so I don’t know all the specifics of the difference in habit and addiction. What I do know is my struggle to get past the habit of drinking. I’m not trying to minimize the effect of alcohol on the mind and body, but I would like to use the analogy of a players bad shooting form--a habit--to excessive drinking.
I would get a player with bad shooting form and it was up to me to not only instruct the players as to how to properly shoot, but to give the player tools to develop that shot. In the beginning they would say that it didn’t feel right, and I would see them reverting back to their old form. I would show them video when their form was good and when it was bad. Most often their form was good when there was no pressure, but when they were in a pressured situation, they went back to what was comfortable. Oddly enough, even when the player knew the new form was better and more successful, they would often be seen going back to the old form.
It took a long time for them to change, but they did, as long as they were diligent and sincere about what they wanted to accomplish. Wanting something doesn’t necessarily mean you will put in the work needed for it to be accomplished. Also, periodically going back to their old form didn’t always mean they couldn’t shoot properly the next time. BUT, if they were allowed to repeatedly use that old shot, then yes, they would have gone back to their old ways.
If you’re new to life without alcohol, treat yourself with things you like to get you through the hard times. When that alcohol voice gets loud, think about why you want that drink. Sometimes there was no reason I really wanted a drink. I just wanted one right then and I felt as though my world would collapse if I didn’t have one. Eventually I got tired of the alcohol voice screaming at me and began to realize that when I wanted a drink the most, was the time that I always had one. So I changed some of my habits.
