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Month to moderation

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 347

hors controle,

I can hear your frustration in your post. Try not to beat yourself up too much, all success stories start with a square one. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

Lynn

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Romancing the drink... This is a nice way to say it.

I guess I am back to square one. Wish me luck!! Thank you Foxman

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

We call it the obsession of the mind Hors. Finally we do succumb to the desire. That is what we call it powerlessness. Usually because we are not at ease with our situation or it could be just boredom. And we start entertaining the thought. Some call it romancing the drink and we get obsessed. And we pick up a drink. And the craving kicks in because we are bodily and mentally wired different. The body asks for more. We will never be able to control drinking ever again. We need to realize that. Thats the first step in recovery and then we start working on taking an inventory of what is work and what is not and work on discarding what is not working. Have you watched "Bar Rescue"? Reality show? The guy comes and takes inventory of the bar that is not bringing in money. He observes the seating arrangements, attitude of the waiters/waitress...cooks.. the quality of food and other stuff on the menu. And they start fixing it and when they re-open it, more people walk in because changes. We do the same, we change.

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

I feel like hell!

I had non stop cravings for the last 3 days and I just cave in, went to buy a bottle of wine. I just could not concentrate on my work at all, just thinking about a glass of wine. I find it tastes awful but I am still drinking it.

My kids were so happy last weekend when we visited my son and his new son. Our Messenger group is all about the baby now. I have no idea how I am going to tell them. They will probably feel very disappointed. The employees at the wine store were looking at me like if I was a ghost. They have not seen me in almost 2 months and I felt the embarrassment. They are usually very chatty.

SHOOT!! Hopefully, I throw the bottle out after a few glasses.

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 26

Just finished day 2 of no alcohol and it was not too difficult to get back on track. I think if I don't have that bottle of vodka in the house calling me I am fine. When bought the bottle of vodka I also purchased one of those larger bottles of beer, it has like 3 glasses of beer in it. That is still in my fridge, I may drink that while watching one of the World Series baseball games. When visiting my son for a weekend sometimes I will just take a case of beer and drink that. He will drink rum sometimes but he usually never drinks more than one or two. (He has no problem moderating since he has never gone past that point.)

My main reason to moderate / abstain is the cost of the alcohol. I simply can not afford to spend the amount I was. The $600 or more I didn't spend on booze looks darn good in my bank account. No matter what I will keep to my budget, I just hoped I could have made that bottle last way more than 3 days !! This means me abstaining more days than I originally thought I would.

This journey is a lot about reevaluations and course corrections. Foxman, I don't think I am at the point where I want or need to never drink again but that option is still on the table if I find myself unable to control how I consume the booze.

Stay strong and be true to yourself, every thing else falls into place then.

High Tower

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Hi Lynn,

I am at 51 days today and I have to admit that even tough I am planning to have a sip or two when the 3 months is done, I am scared I will not be able to control it once I get there. I might just do like you and think it is not worth it.

I think it is probably more difficult to re-motivate our brain if we lose control than to just keep going with the waves of sobriety.

Thanks for the 2 cents.

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 347

hors controle,

How are things with you? On several occasions you have mentioned going 3 months without alcohol before trying it again. When I passed my one month mark I thought I would drink again after 3 months but when that time came, I decided it just wasn't worth it to have that drink. I was too afraid that I would go right back to the what I was doing before. I mention this because of what you posted below. I know that you have time before your 3 month mark, but if I may suggest, think about the possibility of not having that drink when that 3 month time is up. Just my 2 cents. :)

Lynn

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 347

High Tower,

Congratulations on one month! How is your second day? Do you plan to go long before you try moderation again?

Lynn

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Its good to have our own conclusion that we cant moderate. Next phase could be challenging and at times frustrating. We decide to stay stopped, but then we may run into old drinking buddies still active, or you may have a spouse who wants to have a drink or two daily or once in a while. The worst situation is, god forbid, having a situation in our life, the mind always seeks to numb that feelings instead of facing it. Good luck with that, we are here to support you in this phase of reflection.

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Congratulations on your one month!!

I guess now you know that one month was not enough to change a long habit. You seem determined to start your journey again. Good for you.

My goal is 3 months and I am already scare of my possible reaction when I have a first sip. I know I will certainly not have it alone at home. That would be a disaster.

Keep us inform how you are doing.

PS I like your expression favorite poison :-)

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