I am sorry you have been struggling. It sounds like you find your partners behaviour very triggering. Relationship stress would be very triggering for most people, you are certainly not alone in that.
Is your partner currently getting proper treatment for his bipolar disorder? Have you considered getting counselling for yourself as well? Dealing with mental illness inside a relationship is very challenging and it sounds like you could use some more supports to help you cope. It also sounds like some more boundaries need to be set. The belittling and harassing needs to stop.
Hi. I'm struggling right now. I'm married to a person who is bipolar. He takes his meds and is, mostly, "stable". Winter months are difficult for him and he, sometimes, has breakthroughs where his mania comes through. This March was particularly hard and it happened to be when I was working really hard at staying away from alcohol. I only drank four times in March, which was a huge victory for me. He didn't believe me because he was manic and he harassed me all month. We came so very close to a divorce-we've been married for 38 years. To this day, he does not see our trouble in March as having anything to do with his mental illness. So, April and May have been hard months for me with alcohol because I get so tired of fighting. This past weekend, he bought me wine so that we could "have fun in the hot tub" and then, yesterday, he belittled me in front of my adult niece because I am not able to stop drinking. I just don't know how to live this way...
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