Wastedtime,
What a great name! Congratulations on your five days of sobriety; well done!
I have been alcohol free for over a year now. At the beginning, I was pretty protective of my sobriety and did not put too much pressure on myself to attend social events that I thought might be too challenging. It was enough just to stay sober. After a month or so, I travelled to wine country with some family and I was able to visit wineries although it was still quite a challenge. I have now taken a number of holidays near and far and sober holidays are the best! You will know what you can handle as you go, just take care of yourself and make your sobriety a priority.
Earlier on, I did wonder about toasting at weddings and Christmas celebrations and how would I never drink a glass of wine at these again. In reality, however, I had tried to moderate and I knew that it did not work for me. Now, it is quite clear to me that I won't add alcohol back into my life again. I am able to connect with my family in a much more authentic way and I am truly present at our celebrations. I have a grandchild on the way and I am so very grateful that I will be a Grandma without a numbing wine habit. At most social gatherings, I don't give it a second thought now about having a drink. It is my new normal. I do make sure that I have special alcohol free drinks so I don't feel deprived but others drink and I am fine with it.
I have changed things up a bit with friends so that instead of going for a glass of wine or a booze-filled dinner, I suggest going for a walk, coffee or a movie. Creating new possibilities that don't revolve around drinking. I have noticed that my husband drinks far less often now that I am not drinking and we are also much more active.
There is no doubt that I used alcohol as a social lubricant and I do not always find socializing as easy when with people I don't know very well. But now I feel proud of myself the next morning that I powered through. As well, I realize that the control I have when I am sober, makes many social situations in fact much easier. Since I am not totally obsessed with drinking/moderating/how much are others drinking, I can focus on others and enjoy them in a more real and present way.
Society tells us that a glass of wine in hand makes everything, even socializing, better, easier. But we know that even if this was true in the beginning, eventually- for those of us here - it is quite the opposite.
