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7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I sometimes have those weird dreams, that in the dream I worry about going back to the group and picking up a white chip (desire chip they call it). And then I feel so grateful that it was just a dream.. I let go of the worries. The mind always want a reason. Thats the job of the mind.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Something strange is happening to me. I'm dreaming about being drunk. It's very upsetting.

The first time was a couple days ago, I dreamt I was really drunk at a party, and embarrassed myself and my husband really badly. This has never happened in my real life, so I'm unsure why I dreamt this.

My second dream was last night. I was at a community event by myself and for some reason I was wasted on drugs. I never took drugs, so this dream was also very disturbing to me. I was wondering around at this public event, staggering, and becoming more and more lost. I felt like my capacities were fading with each minute, and I was losing touch with my life.

Both times I woke up so upset. I don't really understand why I'm having these dreams. Maybe I'm scared to fail more than I'm consciously aware of when I'm awake? If anyone has any insight to share on this I'd appreciate it. I've always had very vivid dreams throughout my life, but these are particularly upsetting to me.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Thank you all for your encouragement and support.

The event was fine. We painted a picture while listening to very loud club music and most people drinking what looked to me to be a lot of alcohol. I described it to my husband as a painting class in a club/bar.

Very odd! What is it with people having to drink while doing just about anything social?

To be honest, Gus and Nodrama, I never hear people talking about designated drivers anymore. I think people just drink and drive..... That makes me kind of sad.

The painting was fun. I thought if the music was quieter and they served tea, it would be perfect. I had no urge to drink, and I sat next to a pregnant woman, so she was not drinking either. I didn't find myself pre-occupied with the table full of beer, wine, and who knows what else... but once again, we were painting, so there was something to focus on the whole time.

I did leave early, because I gave myself a curfew of 8:30. I was invited to another mom's night out to a movie theater in about 2 weeks. They are, of course, going to a fancy theater that serves.... you guessed it... DRINKS!

I'm going to politely decline... because the movie starts at 9:15 and I turn into a pumpkin at 10 so...

Yeah, I'd rather be home. Sending you all much love!!!

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Hello Flipflopmom,

I got to remember, its nothing others can do that to make me drink. I have to be alert, conscious. I agree, early in our sobriety we don't want to commit to be a DD or being there long. We know our kind, how rowdy we get once we have something in our body. I would periodically look inside and ensure 'inner state' of being is not getting rocked. I will have an exit plan handy. We can always come up with an excuse, we always did when were drinking. With kids at home, we can come up with all sorts of excuses to bail out.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Hey Flipflopmom,

I agree with Gus. You will be fine. Enjoy and you don't owe anyone an excuse.

Here's something I've noticed, once you tell her or anyone that you aren't "aren't drinking tonight" it's easier every time---for you AND them. They will file it away that you might not drink or that you don't drink and you won't have to even discuss the next time. I personally don't like to be a DD. The reason is I like to be able to leave without baggage. If it gets too intense or everyone is getting way drunk, you might feel like leaving. If you are the DD, you have to wait around and we all know drunk folks can take forever and be hard to deal with. So, if you can make some type of plan to have to go do something--- even if it's just to go home and chill---so you can leave if it gets uncomfortable. Then you won't feel pressured. Besides in this day and age so many are giving up drinking for diets and other things.

Yes-- let us know!

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 115

Flipflopmom,

I have been there many times in the last year or so. I was also nervous about attending an event where everyone was drinking except me. It was harder to attend these events when i quit at first, but it got easier as time went on. The first events I attended, I actually drove others to the event, and I was the DD. So I had an excuse, if I needed it, on why I wasn't drinking.

But really, at the end of the day, we owe no one an explanation. Just saying "No thanks" is sufficient if someone offers me a drink. I don't feel like I owe anyone else a long winded answer on why I'm not drinking. I can share it with some of my closest friends, if I wish, but I owe no one any explanation.

Enjoy your event, and let us know how it goes. You'll be fine.

Gus

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Thanks, ND!

I made a new friend. Last week she invited me to her house for a "happy hour followed by a talk on beating cancer." Ummmm, no thanks. I called her and said I can't attend anything having to do with cancer, since I watched my mother die only 2 years ago from the disease. I probably would have wanted to chug all their wine and cry in the bathroom!

So tonight she invited me to a charity event that is "girls night out and painting." It's another happy hour with some sort of painting class afterward. I told her straight up that I don't drink alcohol, so I'd be bringing something for myself. I'm nervous about the event, I'm not going to lie. I've not been around a bunch of ladies drinking wine by myself since I got sober, so it's a bit of a nail biter for me. I'll let you know how it goes.......

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Hi Flipflopmom ! I think your post was so moving. I read it more than once. I have had so many of those same feelings and experiences. Thank you for putting it into words. Very moving and true. I also came here afraid, ashamed and ridden with anxiety and fear. The people on here embraced me and looked out for me. The help on here is beyond words. And you will find as your story unfolds you are helping others stay strong. Thanks again for your post. And congrats on all your success!!

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

My goodness.

I'm not feeling well today, so I'm in bed reading through this post. I'm just amazed at how much I've changed since the origin of my writing here on this site. I came here afraid, ashamed, ridden with anxiety and anger, and I had no idea what to do or how to fix my situation. I read countless accounts of people on this forum saying how great their lives were now that they were sober, and that life was so much better without alcohol, and I thought... "Yeah, right." I really thought those statements were exaggerated and condescending to someone like me... in pain and scared.

Thanks to people on this site reaching out to me and providing me with great information I learned a lot about my own addictive mind, and some reasons behind why I behaved the way I did. I'm so grateful for the information and support provided by you all, and for encouraging me to stay my course, especially when I faltered, fell down, got mad, or swam in denial.

I've had ups and downs during my journey to get sober, and I'm sure I'll have many more. I have changed a lot, mostly by taking the time to be vulnerable with you all first, then gathering the strength from that to face my loved ones honestly and ask them to help me, too. With each sober step I take, I get more courage to move ahead and grow.

I'm excited to keep reading my story, and sharing it with you all. It's so heart warming hearing that I have inspired some people, especially those who have guided and supported me. To anyone reading this, please know that life can change once you decide to change it. It's not always easy, but you will discover how strong you really are, and in the process, learn some beautiful things about yourself.

This site has so much to offer someone looking for support, information, and advice on changing your relationship with alcohol. I can only hope that more people have the experience that I've had, and that this site keeps changing lives.

Many blessings to you all!

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

I was looking in my planner the other day and realized I'm one month sober! I told my aunt last night who has been sober for 30ish years and she really understood what I've been going through. I posted in the success section of the forum, something I really was looking forward to doing. ??

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