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Dealing with nerves & boredom

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 13

I have a really good feeling this time. This is it I think, the one that sticks. I think what will be key to my success will be rewarding myself, giving myself credit and having an alternative. Any thoughts? I have rewards planned for weekly and monthly successes, but I feel like there needs to be something daily that I can have instead of a drink, to celebrate not having said drink. Italian soda? chocolate milk? I can't really think of anything, something that I would be excited about and could relish. Any suggestions? What do you do?

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Thank you Micah and Rich

I made it through another day.

One day at a time.....

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 110

Thanks for sharing that, Rich. It's so true!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 21

The Magic Formula:

"We want you to look at yourself and adore yourself.
If you will make this small effort to appreciate YOU and what is yours NOW, you will soften, so quickly, any resistance that has been keeping you apart from the things you want.
It is the magic formula that you've been looking for.
It is the key to your blending.
It is the key to your allowing.
It is the key to you getting what you want.
It is the key to your abundance, your clarity and stamina.
It is the key to your energy.
It is the key to your vitality.
It is the key to your flexibility.
It is the key to your wellness.
It is the key to ALL things that feel good to you.
Make some small effort, every chance you get, at looking at where you stand NOW and doing your best to SOOTHE and APPRECIATE YOU NOW, to soothe and appreciate your NOW.
Reach for those feelings of appreciation of SELF.
There is no exercise that will ever do that and take you further than finding a way of SOOTHING the resistance that you have directed at YOU.
When you SOOTHE the resistance that you have directed at YOU, your world will open fast to the ABUNDANCE that is lined up right outside your door.
We have seen it.

There is great love for you here." Abraham / Esther Hicks
Abraham-Hicks: Inspirational Quotes

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 110

Thanks Foxman. I appreciate all your wisdom and advice.

Otherwise people get lost, they think meetings are solution and when the going gets difficult, they drop.

For me, the way I'm starting to see it, is the meetings are more about motivation and passing it forward, while sponsorship and working the steps are where the work or turning our lives around happens.

For newcomers, the meetings are important to learning the way of life and traditions, but I can also imagine meetings are a major part of staying sober for an extended period of time, in the long run.

Right now, though, really getting into the steps under wise sponsorship is what I need most. We are working on my 4th step inventory, and I can feel the bedrock of my life starting to shift. I find myself trying to be a better person. I find myself having better priorities... already... and the miracle isn't even close yet.

Micah

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 110

Hi Ali,

Congrats on the 15 days! That is a huge accomplishment!

For me, about 10-14 days is when it always got really hard. On previous attempts to stop, that's pretty much where I usually caved in... So I think you're doing great to hang on. Remember, you only need to get through one day at a time. If you can stay sober today, that's all that matters. It's easier to stay sober for just one day than to think of any more than that.

This time, though, has been much easier for me. I've had my tough days, but going to online meetings, having a sponsor, and starting my work on the steps has really made things different this time around.

Foxman hit it on the head:

We start to change as we clean up, we take care of the internal un-manageability and all the external un-manageability gets resolved, we no longer desire to drink.

Just yesterday, my sponsor and I were talking about how much I've changed in the past 26 days. I was a little bit worried about the ninth step, and he laughed and said, "You're not there yet. You will not be the same person as you are today. You'll be fine." Then, we reflected on how much I've changed in the past month, already. I think it all goes back to Foxman's quote. Once I started working the steps and putting as much effort into recovery as I did into drinking, my life started becoming more manageable. Something is different this time.

Many people fail in AA, that's true, but the people who fail are the people who don't believe in the program or are not willing to WORK for it!

Micah

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Thank you all for your suggestions.

I find I'm so tense and anxious and snap at people. I need to follow your advice and move more and do some relaxation techniques.

I know everyone is different but is there a day when it gets easier? I'm on day 15 and I seem to be wanting to drink more then on previous days.

Ali

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

What's most important is that I'm following the plan in the Big Book and 12 & 12

Thats a great approach. Getting to a meeting is the first step in the right direction but that is not all in itself. Finding a good person who has the right message is another important part of recovery. Otherwise people get lost, they think meetings are solution and when the going gets difficult, they drop.

If you closely look at the material on page 25 on the big book, Bill W right away jumps into solution.

Almost none of us liked the self- searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation.

Then he says we will have a better relationship with the world around us. Why? We start to change as we clean up, we take care of the internal un-manageability and all the external un-manageability gets resolved, we no longer desire to drink. We don't have to worry about that 20th drink, because we lost the interest in alcohol. Thats the 10th step promise.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 110

I found my sponsor in an online chat meeting. From the first time I met him, before he was my sponsor, he took an interest in me and my recovery. Right away, I looked up to this guy. He has tons of life experience that I can relate to, and he has turned it around for many, many years of sobriety. Not being face to face seemed weird at first, but actually I think this makes me trust him more. There are no ulterior motives/social angles, and he's not judging me on anything at all. (I'm from a small town and everybody is up in everyone else's business.) I feel like his motivation is 100% pure; he wants to keep himself sober, and he wants to pass it on to others.

I had a little inferiority complex about online meetings at first, but my sponsor tells me that he has seen many people achieve lasting sobriety online. (He sponsors folks face to face and online.) He's really tough on me in every sense, so I know he's not blowing smoke about this.

Originally, I was only going to do online meetings at first, and then I was going to do face-to-face meetings, but I'm starting to reconsider that. People come to the online meetings and complain about the drama in the home groups! I feel super-tight with my online group, and I don't imagine there ever being drama between us. Plus, I feel like I'm getting everything I need from my sponsor. He always knows just what to tell me to keep my mind right. So, I think I'm going to do my whole 90 in 90 days with the online group. What's most important is that I'm following the plan in the Big Book and 12 & 12, and I'm sure my boy is not going to let me stray!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 110

Great post, Rich, Yep, it's all about that attitude of gratitude!

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Dealing with nerves & boredom