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A Question-

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Simmy,

No worries. I only wish everybody the best. Nobody is going to force anybody onto others. About 15 years ago I overheard my sister-in-law then part of alanon describing alcoholism as a disease because my cousin was heavy into drinking. And that (she was only speaking of the craving) once an alcoholic consumes alcohol, he cant stop. I thought to myself, it will never happen to me. But then I came crawling into AA in 2006. Each one has to decide what is best for them. Good luck.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Sorry for offending you Foxman. Clearly AA has been invaluable for you and for many others and is a fantastic resource.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

It is because I live in a smaller community and I am uncomfortable with the idea of being in groups with my clients (from work).

I acted like a clown when I drank, then I thought, why should I be shy of being in recovery? I should be proud of it right? So, I happily share my journey with others. Your comment on AA being a cult, followed by "i never even been to one so I really don't know", made me think, this is how the whole world is today.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Julie you sound like you know exactly what works for you, and it's serving you well!

Foxman, I guess I have a bad case of the isms, yes I can be hypersensitive. But to be honest, that's not the reason I am reluctant to attend a face-to-face meeting. It is because I live in a smaller community and I am uncomfortable with the idea of being in groups with my clients (from work). And also, I am not much of a joiner, and the intensity of some 12 steps programs seems almost cult-like to me. I'm sorry if that comes across as judgmental, I've never even been to one so I really don't know.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Thanks everyone for responding to my question. I find these discussions and different viewpoints helpful in formulating my own thoughts. I guess it just underlines for me that there are different approaches to a sober life and that it is not the same for everyone, that there is no one answer. I don't know about the differentiations between a hard drinker and alcoholic; I just know that I was using alcohol too much and too often. I know that if I continued down that path I was going, which was already problematic, that it would have ended badly. It makes sense to me that we are all on a continuum and some of us are just farther along the line.

I do think that it was important to first get alcohol out of my life and now I need to look at the "why" of my drinking. As I feel stronger in my sobriety and I have begun meditation, I realize how very little I have paid attention to my feelings, my body, my self. How much I stuffed down and with a smile said to others, "I am just fine." Awareness is the first step and I am just beginning to see some things. I will continue to trust myself to know what is best for me.

I do know some people involved in AA and they strongly believe in it but it is not for me at this point in time. I am finding that what I am doing is working for me so I will continue on my own road. I am checking out Women for Sobriety now. I have found this site very helpful and I will continue to check in here regularly,

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I am sorry it was not meant to confuse someone. The term Hard drinker and Alcoholics are referred to different levels of affliction depending on the extent to which our mind and body is warped. When you say after 99 days you were thinking of having a drink with your husband, is a sign of obsession/insanity. That is powerlessness. And the fact that it makes you sad that you can't have a few drinks with our husband is another trait of the isms. In AA, we dont pronounce others alcoholic, its something your will have to conclude on your own. You may also want to observe how you are handling your emotions. Are you hyper sensitive to something others say or think might say. All these are signs of isms.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

I am so confused by this concept of "hard drinkers" versus "alcoholics", it messes with my head. Either way, I feel like if I don't stay focused on why I quit, that I may end up drinking again. I am at day 99 now, and even yesterday I considered (for a few seconds) having a drink with my husband. I have so busy that I haven't been able to do all my usual self-care stuff. And I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself that my husband can have a few beer after a stressful day while I'm stuck trying to do yoga or meditate with kids hanging off me. I think getting support and feedback from other sober people could help me catch myself before I slip or remind me how to stay on track. I was just reading about the 11 steps to relapse and realized that I have been treading down that path a bit lately. I feel like it would be easier to learn stuff like that from others with more experience, rather than always trying to read stuff here and there. But I have yet to find anyone in my community that I feel comfortable meeting with face to face. I will check out some of the resources mentioned by Virgo, thanks for the suggestions.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

She joined AA, not to remain sober but to deal with the issues.

Wow Lynn, your statment is so profound. The 12 steps of AA is all about helping us change and live life on lifes term. One of the promises of the book is that it says we will be rocketed into the fourth dimension of living. For me, it took a while to understand what it really meant,when I read the book power of now by Eckhart. One particular chapter is about "Beyond hapiness and un-hapiness is peace". Eckhart talks about the surface of the lake being turbulent/moving depending on external force like the wind/rain....but deep down, there is that calmness. Thats what I have experienced so far. Exactly like the 10th step promises say: We will be placed in a position of neutrality, including booze as long as we remain in fit spiritual condition.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

Hi Julie,

I'm new here on this site, and certainly not qualified to know if AA would help you. I did want to point out that AA, while it works for many, many people, isn't the only support group. Women for Sobriety is a self-empowering program, and it is comprised of a group of women from all over the world who have abstinence as their goal. There are live chats, forums (like here), and different tools. The website is womenforsobrietyonline.com, if you're interested in checking it out. There's also SMART Recovery, Life Ring, SOS, and more... I think it's a matter of finding what fits your needs. I think that there are many things that people dependent upon alcohol have in common, but we also have differences.

It sounds like you've become comfortable in your new, sober life and you're enjoying it! It seems to me that this is what it's all about. I hope to be as secure as you are one day.

Bests!

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 348

Julie,

I certainly don't have first hand knowledge to answer your question but did see a friend realize that AA was needed for her. This friend is an alcoholic and when I met her she was 6 years sober and had accomplished this feat on her own; no therapy, groups, etc. A few years after meeting her she realized that although she was sober she had not dealt with the issues that drove her to drink in the first place. This is when she decided that working the steps of AA was for her. She joined AA, not to remain sober but to deal with the issues. In her case, with or without AA I do not think she would have ever drank again. She has now worked the steps and in my opinion, a much better person. As Foxman stated, there are alcoholics and those that are heavy drinkers. I guess deep inside we know what we are, we know what type of hold alcohol has on us.

I hope this helps. Congratulations on your accomplishments so far, you have been an inspiration to me!

Lynn

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