I haven't been on here in 6 months. I keep telling myself that I am in control and doing fine.
I am a mess
No one sees just how much I am struggling as I am keeping my
Kids and family happy but all I want to do is scream.
I can't
I slice various pieces of skin unable to express myself the way I need
not just to scream but to hit and to plead
To make thins better to just feel okay.
But the way my brain works is in in now different ways.
It used to work the same as you and me
But meth, coke and smack, changed all those way.
It's been almost 10 years and I still can't quite give it up
Out of all of these *****es it's alcohol that stuck.
Year after year I fight to give It up
My life is my life and it won't be enough
The courage it brings, the confidence I seek is there waiting for me in each every drink
Without you I'm bare
I'm naked it's true
Without alcohol I'm no better then you
.
I know this is giberash but the fact I have gone 4 days is amazing .. I don't have support though i have two kids and need some sort of something to help encourage the behaviour I have had and keep me falling into old habits
I
