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craving


9 years ago 0 421 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Snow day's are hard to deal with.  Winter is hard to deal with period.  I can have 2 and then either move on or jump in with both feet---and only if my husband is near.  That said after the last go around the entire thing scared the heck out of me.  So, I am scared to even have 1.  That's good.  I need to stay scared sober. It's better for everyone. Alcohol is a self defeating, self distructing poison.  I tell myself that every day.  I crave it and want it when I'm around it. I had in my head that if I wasn't in with the party I was left out.  What I am telling myself is that I have a choice! It's not left out its living. It all goes back to frame of mind.  Hang in there and good luck!
9 years ago 0 315 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The first drink is all I have control over. All bets are off if I have the one. 

9 years ago 0 20 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
So yeaterday we had a snowstorm and it made me feel like i just wanted to have a drink and hang out and enjoy it that way. Somehow i managed. Haha. It was great. My girlfriend got her drinks (and of course she asked if i mind and i said "no"). She had hers and i was okay with just hanging out eating junk with her and watching some tv. I had fun. I did want to have one drink, but i know thats when i have to stop even the thought of having just one. it's okay to have it arund me even though i get tempted because the problem becomes a proben when i have the first one. I know better. it feels good though.  

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