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9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Thanks nodrama. I am feeling a bit better just down I guess. I need to let myself be happy about this. It's definitely going to be a journey. alcohol has always been a part of my daily life since I got drunk for my first time at 11. Not everyday when I was that young but it wasn't long until I wanted it/ needed it daily . I was able to "quit" while I was pregnant both times by the time I got to be 4 months along and it was miserable. Then after the kids both times it went from two drinks every other day to three a day and so on and so forth. It happened so quickly there was no stopping it from happening . I would love to socially drink but my glass is always empty before everyone else is half way ( and I was trying to drink slowly) . I'm trying to stick with nothing or a single drink before bed to "reward" myself when I've been doing well. <--- I know that's not a healthy way to deal but it's a start. I am seriously debating on going to an AA meeting tonight my first one ever ( over town) . Have you guys gone to meetings? How did they help you?

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Hi there everyone. I think that Elektra you are maybe scared that you won't be able to drink again--ever. That's is an unsettleing thought for many of us. Sipping through out the day isn't good for you---you are in a constant fog and won't be thinking clearly as long as you have any alcohol in your system. You really need to consider staying away from it for a good 7 to 10 day's (when I saw a counselor that's what she told me) and after that period you will be thinking clearly. You can make a decision if you want to try moderation or stop for a longer period of time and then try moderating. OR never pick it up again. But, while sipping keeps your buzz going---it's not good for decision making. Alcohol is a legal brain altering substance. If you've made the pathways for it to travel on it's driving your brain for you. Making you scared, insecure and paranoid. If you take a break then it's you that's back in control. BTW--I have kids also (including a almost 2 yr old) and I take Lemon Balm for moods. It's herbal and is the most amazing mood lifting thing I've ever found. You can get it in stress tea, pill form or liquid. Try that it will help with the stress of little kids. :-) God love them they are stressful! Hang in there Elektra you're heading down a great journey. I too can't relax enough for therapy to really work. I just went in and talked to my counselor...ranted about life...she did tell me something that I have found useful. Write yourself a small note....something positive....then on a small paper in your wallet put "don't drink...it's not worth it" or something so that when you go to buy it you see that note before you actually buy it and perhaps it's enough to jab you into not doing it. I've found that helpful. And self talk---I will say outloud to myself...."no, no, no this is NOT a good idea..." or "stop it...think and don't do it...no good comes from it" ! Just silly stuff but, whatever helps! Best of luck to you.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 28

Thanks Kez and Elektra for the feedback! I am going to talk with someone in a week or two. How are you both doing with moderating or stopping your drinking?

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Hi Kirk!

I want to let you know I've tried a few therapists, councelors, and psychologists as well. It was very hard to find one that I "clicked" with, but I have found one who specializes in substance abuse and EMDR. Same with what Kez said it's very hard for me to be able to relax enough to visualize what I am supposed to during sessions however actualy trusting this person has helped in other ways it's made me want to be in control even more.

I am not sure where your at with your "support network" but for me I don't really have one and just being able to feel safe around someone and letting them in the little bit I have has actually helped. I also suffer from panic attacks <--- horrible ones before but they have gotten better recently . Good luck to ya

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 94

Hi Kirk,

I went to a psychologist because I was fortunate enough to have good benefits where I work. Mostly cognitive behavioural stuff and she's tried to do some visualization and EMDR with me but I can't relax enough to get into it. Everyone is different, but we haven't really focused much on alcohol itself, more on me and my past and my current thought patterns. For me, I've never been able to connect with someone emotionally and release all the the inner "stuff" that's going on in my head. To have been able to have found a therapist I clicked with released a lot of that pressure which, for me, was half the battle. And to have become aware of my unconscious thinking and how it was/is guiding my decisions (which were usually bad ones) was really helpful so that I could make a conscious effort to counter it when I could feel myself starting to slip. I'm still not that good at it but at least I have a choice now instead of absolutely not knowing what to do with myself. And she made me understand that I shouldn't necessarily trust my feelings; that some of them are a result of totally false beliefs so just because I feel a certain way doesn't mean it's actually rational. she's made me stop and think before I go on a binge because I DO have control if I chose to stop and think about it and change my behaviour. I have had panic attacks too, they're not fun. I'm still not good with them but I try to just stop what I'm doing an change my surroundings. Go for a run or walk my dogs, breathe deeply, talk to myself like a looney until it passes. BUT I also have to add the first time I ever tried seeking help was when I was 16 - tried a psychologist in high school, then a psychologist and psychiatrist in university, then a counsellor while doing a master's degree, then another psychologist after that, and then this one. I knew from a young age I was on a bad path but I didn't have the tools or skills to address it so the self medicating got much worse (I'm 32 now). It took a long time for me to find someone I trusted. You need to meet them and see if they fit with your goals and your personality. I'm not sure if that helped or not...... I highly recommend talking to someone though.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 28

Hi Kez, Interested to see what type of therapist you went to? I'm at a point I need to talk with someone about why I do what I do? I totally lost control of my drinking lately and hit a wall with why... I'm frustrated and worried about the anxiety getting the best of me. I was having small panic attacks the last couple of days. Don't want to reach for a drink to calm myself... feel like I've missed so much in life self medicating myself with alcohol that totally scared to stop and admit there is something wrong.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Thanks for responding :)

Kez I'm glad to hear you went on to speaking with some one... I actually did EMDR therapy for a different area in my life and my therapist thinks it's can help with alcohol cravings as well.. So far no luck because the "urges" arnt as bad as they used to be it's the fear of completely loosing it if I don't drink that scares the crap out of me. I have two young kids and it seems like sipping on it all day ( not getting wasted ) keeps me patient and in control. I feel very stuck. Thanks again for hearing me everyone :)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

If I have a drink here and there throughout the day I can manage but continually am waiting to have my next drink. Has anyone else felt this way?

That is what the book Alcoholics Anonymous calls it as "phenomenon of craving". That happens after we put one or 2 drinks in our body, the body asks for more. It does not happen in normal drinkers. They can have a drink or two and just be done with it. But there is a segment of the population who can't just drink 1 or 2 drinks.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 94

Hi Elektra,

Yes, I've felt like that before and I still do when the stress level gets too high. I'm no expert but I've come to understand that for me at least, it's because I've mastered a variety of negative coping strategies and I've failed to develop very many positive ones. Not ones that I have been able to maintain, anyway. I never learned how to effectively cope with negative emotions and so I'd use easily release valves to feel better. But they are all short term solutions and do NOTHING to increase your well being over the long term.

I'm still testing this strategy, but to get past that point I'd suggest coming up with some positive strategies you can use in the short term instead to change your focus when you have the urge to drink - something that works for you, whether it be exercise, talking to someone, dancing, reading, getting out of the house, walking the dog, eating something sweet, pouring some soda water in a wine glass. And in the longer term, digging deep to try and explore why you might be drinking in the first place. For me I had to swallow my pride and go talk to a therapist because I too had gotten to the point where I couldn't cope with certain things and I couldn't stand not knowing what to do with myself anymore, and i had nobody I felt safe talking to about it.

As I said I am certainly no expert. But I can say for myself i've started to believe in things I once thought were hokey.

Keep sharing your thoughts!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

I've never posted on anything like this before. I have come so far but can't seem to get past where I'm at. I don't drink heavily but I do drink daily. I tried to go a few. Days without alcohol and it felt like my brain was short circuiting like there were elctric zaps in my head. All I could think was to stop it. I wanted to hurt myself it was so hard. Instead I had a few shots and felt better. How can I get past this point? If I have a drink here and there throughout the day I can manage but continually am waiting to have my next drink. Has anyone else felt this way? Too scared to stop! TIA

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