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First days alcohol free

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Excellent plan. Good for you Jake.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

If you take a look at my sign up date on here it is March 09 2014. Shortly after singing up I got drunk and tried to take my own life. I hit an all time rock bottom and since March 10 I became willing to do whatever it took to stay sober and start living a productive life. Yes, I am working on the 12 steps, not done them all and I am under no pressure from anyone in or out of AA to do them. Lots of members never do the steps. I plan to because frankly I am willing to do anything to stay sober.

I have come to believe that other people have an opinion and that it their right. What others think of me is none of my business.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

BTW Jake, those ideologies I was referring to in my response are having a profound and positive aspect in your life and building on that success is a great example for others. Clearly they work for you and others will decide for themselves if they will work for them. We all need to find resolution that speaks to us. I felt I needed to say that because I'm not trying to criticize your approach in any way (quite the opposite because I admire what you've accomplished), only to point to the fact that members of AA group actually do subscribe to a set of ideologies in which they are finding success.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Jake,

Have you considered what were the drivers for your drinking? We get caught up in the cycle of alcohol abuse and, I agree with you in the respect that it does become quite crazy\ insane in how we behave and perpetually practice and refine a selfish disregard for all things important (your example of leaving the kids in the car was a prime example). Coming to terms with our previous actions can be a challenge and you've made great progress. It's amazing how we can find and surround ourselves with people who will facilitate and tolerate that kind of behaviour.

If I could make a suggestion, and it echoes Swigs somewhat....the constant AA rhetoric becomes challenging. I don't think it is realistic or respectful to say "ignore the posts if you don't like them" (I'm paraphrasing here). The whole point of this site is to have an open discussion. To ignore someone is to invalidate their contribution. Yet to parrot a cliche such as "Religion is for people who do not want to go to hell. Being spiritual is for people that have already been there" from AA paints others dedication to a religious, spiritual solution for living their lives in a moral conscientious manner in a rather bleak manner. Perhaps someone has experienced a profound trauma and loss and they have found solace, peace, and resolution through Christianity or Buddhism? The entire program of AA has it's foundations in Christianity and that's fine. And while AA purports to not have ideologies and the 12 steps are "only suggestions" we know that is not true. They have very specific, clearly defined ideologies, starting with the 12 steps themselves. Both yourself and Foxman constantly remind of us what those are. Additionally, if someone offers a counterpoint or doesn't agree with those ideologies their response is not met with acceptance or consideration.

I can see by your recent posts that you are making an effort and that is appreciated. I welcome any new ideas that promote discussion and resolution to this challenge and look forward to your contributions as you've just mentioned your reading on the subject has expanded. I'm relieved to hear that. "Keep an open-mind" is a great suggestion. I'd being interested in hearing what some of that material is.

That being said, how do you find the government funded counsellors? What type of advice do they provide?

All the best,

Dave

"Ideology: An ideology is a set of conscious and/or unconscious ideas which constitute one's goals, expectations, and actions"

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

AA has no ideologies, other then helping alcoholics to achieve sobriety .There are no rules in membership other then a desire to stop drinking. I share my story not for congratualtions but to try and stay sober today. My drinking took me to places that I never want to go back to. Frankly I am scared. My last drunk almost took my life. I am doing everything I can to stay sober. I am active here on this site and others, I go to aa 4-5 times per week, I talk to sober friends 2-3 times per day, I read almost anything I can get my hands on that has recovery in it, I speak to government funded counselors, I have even taken depression medication for a few months. If someone can recover without doing some of these things, my hate is off to them. I respect their sobriety and hope their story will help me. I ask you to "Keep and open mind" in recovery. Who knows someone may say something that triggers something inside you that will help you stay sober that day.

May your sobriety date never change.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Hi all. I check in to AHC almost daily, but rarely post. In my quest for an AF life, I have benefitted from the diversity of the conversation, opinions, experiences and voices on this site. This morning I learned something from Jakelad's post, which was responding to a question in the previous post. I appreciated his explanation of how a non-religious person (that would be me, too) found a way to work the AA program without God ("My higher power is my own conscious, I use it to try and do the next right thing.") I think we should respect and value the pathways that others have followed to find peace. And if we want to skip a post because the message or the messenger doesn't resonate, that's very easy to do. Still seeking my own peace....Calabash.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

Jakelad, With all due respect, this is AHC and NOT AA. Why are you continuously promoting the latter? Everyone here has acknowledged and commended you on the great success you have achieved with the 12 step program thus far. I am sure there are others here, like me, whom appreciate and value your input and experiences. However your beliefs and commitment to the ideology of AA is respected but may not be shared by all. It would be appreciated if that same respect was given in return. We are here to support each other, not to promote division. Sincerely, Swig

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

Religion is for people who do not want to go to hell. Being spiritual is for people that have already been there. The only requirement for AA membership is the desire to quit drinking. The steps are only suggested. Un like a religion, AA makes no reference to any vision of what God is. Simply a higher power that guides you to do the next right thing. My higher power is my own conscious, I use it to try and do the next right thing. I was lucky when I first came in it was just a room full of drunks talking about how bad it was when they drank. Still I don't go to many speaker meetings, I like the discussion groups. Basically 6-10 people sitting around talking about how bad life was. Trying to help eachother stay sober, much like this site only its face to face.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Interesting post Jake, and somewhat harsh critique of your previous behaviour. That being said, and I've never asked this before so maybe you can clarify.......

What exactly is a religious program? How are you differentiating between religious and spiritual, since both over-lap?

I went to the other board, an AA board, that I originally participated in when I quit (and left after a few weeks), after reading your post to see what advice they were offering to newcomers who were embarking on this resolution and quitting.....Here's one example.......

"Surrendering our life and our will over to God is not just a mindset or an attitude. It is an action. Or, rather, a series of actions. In other words, the only way you can truly surrender yourself to God is by working the 12 Steps. Take those actions, and your entire life will change....".

The purpose of my question isn't to start a debate as to whether AA is religious or spiritual, I'm just curious since AA has it's roots in a the Oxford Group.

All the best,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

To clarity, AA is NOT a religious program. That is 100% for sure, spiritual yes for sure. It is like Dave said a means to rewire our brains to stop drinking and live a better life. I was a lier, a thief and a cheat. Did whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted whenever I wanted. Now through the fellowship of AA I stay sober and try and do the next right thing in life. If you don't want this, that's fine, most need it but one has to want it. Yes over the past 35 years some things have changed but the thing that has not is the empty bank accounts, embarrassed wives / husbands, concerned parents, broken children, frustrated bosses, worried friends, lawyers, police, hospitals, funeral homes ect. Alcohol took me to the end, lost my job, house, wife, kids and tried to kill myself. All cause I thought I could do it on my own. I wanted to become a productive part of the human race again.

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First days alcohol free