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Struggling.... again

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Struggling.... again

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 10

You are doing fine Sarah.

Drinking in moderation also doesn't work for me - tried but ended in a catastrophe by the end of the day. Urges are quite tempting indeed and one needs to put their foot down and say “NO” and also think of the repercussions when you sip that one drink.

Lost a some friends when I reduced partying and drinking but am glad I did so – can always get others who will impact my life positively and help me combat my habit. Back up and support from family is also very crucial as they act as your backbone.

It is hard but it takes that one big leap. I can party but opt to be the designated driver as Dave puts it.

Fluffy

I think that the social aspect of quitting is sometimes the most difficult. Especially if your mate still drinks. We have family coming in this weekend and my husband just said to me "maybe we can have a good bottle of wine"....I said well you can I can't. I think it caught him off guard and there was this awkward silence between us...but I don't want to get drunk and make an a** out of myself AGAIN. I'm scared that if I try to moderate that's exactly what will happen.

So--back to social situations. We don't do the bar scene anymore either....but with this coming weekend I feel like we might become at odds over the whole issue and I don't feel like he's pressuring me either. But, I feel like he misses his old life and the drinking.....Sarah, I can totally relate. Hang in there.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Keep with it Sarah. You're doing very well to get as far as you have. Personally, moderation doesn't work for me. It's just the alcoholic part of me being sneaky and trying to trick me into drinking again. Have you created goals? Get them out and read over them again. Was going back to drinking part of your long term plan? It's sounds to me you need to get creative and start a new hobby/activity that you enjoy doing to fill the void of drinking rather than starting drinking again. Remember abstaining from drinking is just the start for us with alcohol problems. Leading a healthy life is the challenging part. Part of that healthy lifestyle includes addressing all factors such as sleep, nutrition, exercise, family, friends etc etc and of course being social. Are there ways you can start meeting with people that don't drink? It sounds like you're in a bit a rough patch at the moment and trying to socialize with people that are drinking might be best avoided for a few weeks until you're feeling better/stronger. Good luck. Keep checking in.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Sarah,

I can relate to what you are saying with the shifting in your mood. I went through the same thing a few times. A change in mood seems to be pretty normal, however, you have to stick to your plan and things will get better. Don't let the pull of the social current drag you back in to old habits. It doesn't sound like it would be your choice to drink again and that is certainly something you don't want to do. The liquor store isn't going to run dry so you can always start at a later date if moderation is something you plan to do but do it on your own terms if you do. Are you avoiding social situations because you don't want to drink? How about committing to being the designated driver and let him party his butt off. Eventually this stuff won't bother you anymore. You are doing really great and you need to stick with it.

All the best,

Dave

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Hi Hopeful Sarah ! I know quitting can be lonely.....being drunk is lonely too. It's hard when one part of a couple is trying to stop a behavior--whether it's drinking, smoking or even eating poorly. Team work is always better. I bet your husband would be up for going to do some fun couple stuff....maybe a movie or dinner out. It's hard when your friends are drinkers and don't understand. We went through that--still are. But maybe you could get together your group and come up with a fun activity that won't include drinking. Then you get to be AF and be with your group. Think about it with it being fall it's a great time for something outdoors.

It's hard not to slip and try moderation. I just went through the realization that I cannot moderate. Think about where you are now and where you see yourself in another month? The moderation can be a slippery road. I understand about missing wine---that's a natural reaction to something you have tons of positive fun memories of. I miss it too. But if you look back at why you quit in the first place maybe you'll find the strength you are looking for. Hang in there it's better on this journey than going back, I think anyway....

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Hopefulsarah,

Thank you for your honesty. I think many people here can relate to what you are saying. When you quit drinking it can have a huge impact on your lifestyle and social life. How else can you be social? What hobbies or activities might you try to keep you occupied and engaged? You now have the time to spend on whatever you want. Put some thought into this. This work will help solidify your quit. Changing can be uncomfortable focus on the end goal.

What made you quit in the first place? Do what you have to do to get back in that mind frame. Posting here is a great start. What else can get your motivation and hope back up?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

So, I'm on day 114 of no alcohol. Aside from my first few posts, my last few times I've been on here have to post good news and positive feelings. I was feeling good and doing very well. I had hard days, but overall, felt good. Then, I didn't. You would think that it would be getting easier. It seems it was, but now I'm struggling again. I'm just keeping it real. I miss wine. A lot. Yes, I can have fun sober, and I am having fun sober, but the last few weekends, I have missed being a little bit NOT sober. I began to tell people. Only a handful of people. Already, I've noticed a few of them not calling or coming around as often, even though they promised they would. I hate this. I hate that I'm starting to say, well maybe I can do this again. In moderation. Maybe the past 114 days have taught me self-control. We are going on a cruise for fall break. And, I'm dreading it. Cruise with no drinking, really?? It also seems my marriage is starting to feel some stress. At first, my husband was very supportive and positive and gave me lots of good feedback. Now it seems we are at odds with this. It's not that he is pressuring me to drink, but we don't do anything anymore. We don't go out, we don't even try. I'm not attending gatherings that I used to and he still wants to go (he is a drinker). I've just been having a rough few days / weeks. I really, really want to stay and just work through these feelings. To be honest, I'm scared. Really scared that I'm going to slip. I hate this.

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Evolution Health is not a healthcare provider and does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are currently thinking about or planning to harm yourself or someone else please call 911 or go to the nearest hospital emergency room.

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Struggling.... again