Lynn. I know what you mean. Today as I drank my wine I realize I thought I loved the taste. It don't taste or smell so good any more.. Each day I pick more things to be thankful for ...I always imagine what it's going to be like when I don't drink. Oh the freedom. It's getting closer each day. I know.
I hope you are having a nice evening..
Jewel I'm glad you made it through. As I said before you got this. I'm (we) are just one step behind you. I( we) will get there right Lynn?
All is well. I have been doing a lot of thinking the past few days and foresee changes for myself in near future. I teach high school so I now have the summer off, or at least don't have to go to work everyday. This has always been a very happy time for me because I did not worry about what I drank---but that was when I could control. So I find myself in a time that should be relaxing and enjoyable quite the opposite. Full of turmoil and anxiety. Cannot rationalize what I am doing anymore, makes no sense. Tired of living the lie.
Thanks for checking on us. How are you tonight? And you Zoey? I'm just settling in for the evening. Made it another day. Hope you guys are blessed with a great weekend!
That's the spirit! Stay focused on your goal and when things get uncomfortable it's perfectly fine and normal and it's only temporary. And regarding being here and being a friend? You can COUNT on that one! You have the strength inside to change this and resolve it. Don't fear it. It's actually quite fun.
Thanks Dave. I pray that I can be as strong as you... I can and I will because for once in my life I'm starting to realize this is not about anyone else and I only have me to prove this too.. My family didn't do this I did. I can't lie to me, I can't hide from me ..Alcohol has controlled my life for a long time. I have just been a very smart drunk. Well hidden from a lot, but not from me. I wake every morning with guilt and angry because I drink ... Thank you for the advice. Please be here and my friend. It's only here I can talk so free. I've needed to for a long time. It will help. Monday will be an excellence day for a movie. At 4 on Monday I don't know how I will feel but it will be without alcohol..that I know. Just one day. Monday is that day.
Thank you the positive comments about my blog. It really helps to work through the self-discovery\ realizations and get them down on "e-paper". I can so appreciate where you are right now and let me just say "Great job!" in your progress. It's really inspiring to read your posts so let that positive momentum carry you forward. 3 weeks is a real accomplishment. It's quite amazing how much we ultimately end up consuming when we finally max out.
I know everyone has a great concern about the long term prospect of not drinking. It's daunting at first and certainly comes with its fair share of anxiety. Fortunately the anxiety passes. Trust me... had a few god ones. This anxiety is often a clear message to a deeper problem we need to work through but we can't do it with alcohol. This "relationship" with alcohol is quite a strange one. We love it when we're drinking and we hate it when we're not. It's totally dysfunctional.
Keep up the great work Jewel! Looking forward to hearing more positive progress.
Thanks for the positive thoughts. I'm very touched that I can be of some inspiration to your quest. It sounds like you are on the right track. Setting a goal and a date is always a great plan. My apologies for not writing sooner. I came down with flu, and it has been rather rough. Funny enough, the last time I felt this bad was last July when working through the first few days of the LAST binge I went on. What an eye-opener.
You've shared a lot of really significant points, as has everyone contributing. Most importantly, and I'm sure you're seeing this, is that you are NOT alone. When I quit, I told my son and my wife I was quitting. The single biggest boost for me was posting on here, the support from the members, and self-exploration. You are exactly right.....when you train your mind you can accomplish anything.
How are you planning for Monday? Do you have a plan? If I can make a suggestion, start to visualize you day at 4pm and fix it in your mind that you are not going to be drinking. Maybe go out to a movie for a distraction?
Zoey, you are so right about training the mind. That has been the hardest part for me. Alcohol had such control over my mind. I've thought things I never imagined I would, never rational. Each day, I'm realizing the devastation alcohol had on me, to include my mindset. I also drank soooooo much wine, glass after glass. Let's all continue to work toward our goal. Our new life is within arm's reach. Hope you guys are well tonight.
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