I relate to you sian and toxicsoul, I definitely will drink at home and I isolate myself to avoid embarassing drunk sessions.
I dont drink as much at home because i dont have as much access as I do when i am out at the pubs or parties so I feel like home is safer but it's true its not the triggers necessarily but the problem with alcohol.
I straight up avoid binge drinking buddies now because even if we hang out and not drink, even being around them the cravings are so intense. Like you said sian, some ppl have just disappeared.
One friend I have had since I was 20 I only talk to on the phone now, he understands, because even spending time with him sober I end up running to the bottle the second he leaves or I used my addict convincing skills to talk him into just one, next thing you know i've woken up from a binge session.
I joined a floor hockey team recently to do somethin other than get drunk and have a positive activity. Unfortunately there is talk of after we win a game that we wil all head to the bar for a session and I know I cant go to that because I know i might over do it.
I think practicing saying no is a good idea, I can try that.
I find some ppl I wont drink around, and its all them and their power. There are certain friends that i know i can just steam roll them into a second pitcher. Like my cousin, whom i am close with, we now mainly go to sci fi movies because i know how easily it is for me to be like, J let's just go for some beers resulting in a binge fest.
We are going for drinks this weekend with someone from our hometown and im nervous about it cuz i dont want to go crazy. I will update you guys if it goes well.
I am just a binge drinker, not really dependent, though I have binge habits that i try to break. Ex I volunteer in the mornings sometimes on weekends, i find having that weekend plan that i dont want to blow off helps me not to give in. Positive reinforcement is good too, i woke up a sat morning without a hangover (rare for me) and i was like this is great, i feel great.
Lately i have been having a beer or two after work with dinner. I know its not a great plan since it could escalate but it hasnt been bad at all. I bought a six pack sunday and I still have beer in the fridge. A few months ago that wouldnt have been at all possible so I feel like that's a bit of a win.
I also made it through a work event only having half a glass of wine (6 months ago I got wasted at a work event and mbarassed myself in front of colleagues, (thank god our clients had left already, luckily it was a 2nd offence in two years and only led to a bit of ribbing)
I went to a dinner party and had one glass of wine, that is a win. I tend to down four or five at these types of things, or have the one and go home to a bottle by myself.
I think part if it is my feelings toward myself...i care way too much what other ppl think. People strongly influence me and I can quickly tell the ppl who will show restrain with drinking and those who will let me tlak them into a a few more glasses. I try to only have a drink with the former.
But I dont want to have to do these silly tricks, I want to be able to manage myself.
PS I also have only admitted to a few ppl that i have a drinking problem because every time i do, they tell me i don't. They don't get it because they cant feel my struggle, they just see that i sometimes have no problem controlling myself and assume the other times are the one of, but its quite the opposite.