All alcoholics must struggle with the issue of moderate drinking, at least for awhile. I've never been a 'get blasted and pass out' drinker, but always 'one glass of wine turns into three or four or five'. Two nights ago (as I began drinking and it became crystal clear to me that I honestly can't do moderation) it turned into two bottles. I'd hoped that by joining this site a year ago that I would be able to go back to the one or two glasses a night for the rest of my life. It obviously doesn't work. Those two bottles on July 14 were hopefully the last bottles I open.
This forum really has been an invaluable experiment for me. Over the course of this past year I've had many discussions with different members about why I want to moderate, how I try to do it, and especially about needing to truly prove to myself if moderation can't work for me. I've always known that the only way total abstinence will work, is if I absolutely believe that moderation isn't an option. I think I'm finally there. So thanks, Mogas, for all your help over the past year. I'm preparing to get out of my own little self-pity world now and start responding to you again, like I used to do, even though I'm officially dropping out of the Moga club. I now join the distinguished ranks of Recovering Alcoholics.
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