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Deciding when moderation doesn?t work.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

Camiol, I'm glad you abstained yesterday, and I hope today goes well for you. And good luck with that interview. I am definitely open to the idea of private communications, but I also don't want to give up the support on this site. It has been so useful and helpful to me. I've been sober for 43 days now. Yesterday was very hard for me -- I'm a bit sick and grumpy, and that glass of wine certainly would have helped me feel better -- but I didn't want to have to start over. Anyway, I'm still not feeling well, but I wanted to check in. I will stay sober again today, even though I'm starting out the day grumpy (not a good sign).

Maybe I will also clean up the house. I can't say I always enjoy the process, but I sure do feel better after the result. You guys are good for me.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Camiol,

I'm doing well, thank you for asking. I had a great weekend and got lot's of motorcycle time in. The weather here in Burlington has been very nice. I'm finding I really haven't had any craving for alcohol at all, which is kind of strange this time around because I'm often making trips to the beer store or LCBO for my family. In fact it's just the opposite. I find the times when I do actually think about drinking I never think to myself "I'm quitting" or "I can't drink" and start to get stressed. I usually think "I really hate what it did to my life" or "I don't like the way I get when I drink, I really enjoy NOT drinking". I thought I would obsess about it more but it simply isn't the case. And the feedback I've been getting has been overwhelmingly positive from my family and the great people like yourself on this site. I do spend A LOT of time reading about the subject, the variety of treatments, the progressive long term psychological and physical effects of alcohol abuse. It's really interesting and the progression of abuse seems to follow a specific path and, through progressive and constant abuse, alcohol re-wires your thinking and we're left with this struggle to quit. The good news is recovery is possible for everyone.

Smoking had been a little tougher. I gave myself permission to smoke over the last couple of weeks because I felt like I was biting off more than I wanted to chew, with quitting drinking. I'm on day 2 again now and will be giving it my focused effort as I've added workouts into the mix. I'm also doing a 3 day detox to kick start the process, day 2 starting today. I've noticed my eating habits need to be kept in check. I'm not over weight (yet) but I've had a real urge for sweet stuff (chocolate, skittles, etc) since I quit drinking. I've read this is common and I've enjoyed it but it's time to cut sugar from my diet for a while and focus on healthy eating and exercise. It's really amazing how your body reacts when you remove certain foods from your consumption. I would have killed to eat a few potato chips last night!

Best of luck with the job interview! You have so much positive change going on in your life right now. Keep it moving forward. Your progress is very apparent and inspiring!

Turquoise, how are you doing? How is your health? I'm enjoying month 2. And you?

Best regards

Dave

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Thanks Dave, it really helps to have friends encourage and praise us for our successes doesn't it? It gives us incentive to continue down the right path and clean up our lives. I'm feeling pretty good about my progress lately. Not that I haven't been drinking, but that I'm working towards abstinence and staying sober. It would be great if you, Turquoise and I could communicate more privately through email, I am certainly open to that and hopefully Turquoise will be as well.

How are you doing? Did you enjoy your weekend? It was good for me, I handsome quiet time, kept busy with house duties and went for a late dinner with my BFF and her boyfriend. As I planned, I didn't overdo it on the drinking and it was a nice evening at a nice restaurant with good friends. I did abstain yesterday and I'm planning to abstain again today because I have another job interview tomorrow which I'm very excited about. As much as I'd like to get the job that is within the same industry as my former employer, this job is with a catholic school board and I'd love to work in a different environment.

Turquoise how are things going for you? Did you enjoy your weekend? I'm still struggling with quitting smoking, but each and every day I am less and less inclined to want to smoke so I'm hoping that I will put them down again very soon. I hope getting a new job will give me even more reason to quit because I really don't want to start a new job as a smoker.

I'll check back later, time to get my day started.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Camiol,

Nice going. I really enjoy the process of cleaning up. It's very therapeutic and makes me feel like I'm cleaning up my life. I've giving it a lot of thought actually about posting an email address so we can all communicate off-line. I plan to set up an email just for that purpose.

Keep up the great work you're doing! I really admire the progress you're making. I can see a huge difference for the better over the last while in your spirit. Well done! Very proud of your progress.

Best regards,

Dave

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Happy Saturday! I'm having a quiet weekend, my husband and daughter have gone to Canada's Wonderland again so I'm alone. I have been a very busy beaver today with shopping, taking a load of junk to the dump, floor washing, polishing etc. I'm doing what I can to keep busy and try to avoid getting bored, which in turn ends up with me drinking too much, so far so good. My BFF invited me for a cruise on her boyfriends yacht but I knew it would mean a lot of alcohol so I chose not to go. We may hook up for dinner later but Im going to remain controlled.

Turquoise I'd love it if we could meet someday....you never know, our paths may cross. I'm not sure if you're on Facebook but I wish there was a way to connect that way without having to reveal our identities on this site. Dave the same applies to you. I love the quote you paraphrased by Robert Frost Dave, it's so true and so powerful.

I hope you are having a wonderful weekend. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Siobhan,

How is this week been for you? If I remember correctly you were going to start a new job? Let us know as your participation on the site is appreciated and welcome.

Best regards,

Dave

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Camiol,

It's a pleasure to have you back. Excellent work moving forward! I can see a really positive change in the way you are approaching your lifestyle and managing your situations. I'm inspired and I'm mindful of the great resource you've become. And you echo my sentiments of friendship. I've grown very fond of you as well. I take great strength from the positive feedback and, more importantly, the support from you, Turquoise, and all on this site. To paraphrase Robert Frost..."We took the road less traveled and it made all the difference." (http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-road-not-taken/).

Turquoise, I totally agree on the money. I've often thought of that, of all the money I've spent over the years. All I can do now is re-frame it in the positive and accept it as the price of admission to a better, more positive future. I honestly believe the saying "when the student is ready the teacher(s) will appear". We've all met at this apex for a reason and now we have the good fortune to thrive in the support of one another. I wake up everyday feeling happy and grateful about that and inspired to enjoy the day, alcohol free. It's a pleasure to keep the momentum going and move through month 2 with you. I'm working through my social circle of friends and letting them know I quit drinking and it's much easier than I ever anticipated. I am realistic about it and sometimes feel a little uneasy with my first thought of the experience but as I rehearse it in my mind I'm relieved to put it behind me. There's still a lot of work to do and having this support structure makes it much, much easier.

Keep up the great work everyone!

Best regards,

Dave

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

Welcome back, Camiol. I'm glad you had a great vacation, and at least you made it 3 days smoke-free, so you know you can do it again. Now just try and get them out of your house, so you're not tempted!!! Who knows, maybe someday we will meet....

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Hi gang, I'm back! I had a great time on our little vacation. My daughter loved Great Wolf Lodge, we got lots of shopping done and some nicer relax time in our room. Believe it or not I got through the three days smoke free and when I got home I saw a carton of cigarettes in the kitchen and I immediately opened a pack. Sheesh what is wrong with me?! As for alcohol, we really didn't drink much which was nice. We did have a drink or two In our room before dinner, and one or two when we went to the restaurant. I kept mindful if the fact. That I wanted to keep it to a minimum and that's what I did.

Dave I agree with Siobhan, I'm always thankful for your posts too. It means a lot that you feel we are friends, I believe we are too. Even though we've never met, I feel a great fondness for you. I also feel like Turquoise and I are kindred spirits. We most definitely could meet for the first time and feel like we've known each other for years.

Wow Turquoise, seeing those numbers you've calculated, it's shocking isn't it? I'm sure I'm not far behind you for the past four years. All that money in the sewer or up in smoke....what a waste. We could have some awfully nice bling or anything we desire with that money we spent on booze and smoking. Hindsight is 20/20 right? We can only move forward from here and spend our money on more tangible things...or put it in the bank! Darn...retirement could have come so much sooner.

Congrats to both of you for starting month 2. I'm so proud of both of you!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

Dave, that is fantastic. Congratulations, and here we are both at month two. I know you did this earlier this year for 4 months, but this is the longest I've been alcohol-free for several decades. If I made a guess about how much money I've spent on alcohol over the course of my life... hmm. In the 80's maybe $500/year ($5000 during the decade). In the 90's, average $3 - $5 per day = approx $1500/year ($12,500 during that decade), in the 00's maybe $5-$10/day - round it to $7/day (at least $25,000/decade) and in the past three years more like $10/day (close to $10,000) I guess that would add up to -- holy cow, good thing I'm sitting down -- well over $50,000 since I bought that first cheap beer in college. And I'm sure that close to the same is true for my husband.

That is truly staggering -- over $100,000 between the two of us. I've never done the entire math before. I'm not sure I can handle this. I need a drink! Oh, wait. It's only five in the morning. I'm not going to calculate the cigarettes, because that was much spottier, but I would hazard a total guess of about $10,000 up in...uh...smoke. God, that's depressing. How did I get started on THAT this morning?

So, how about this angle instead? I've already saved myself almost $400 since becoming sober, plus a couple thousand more if I count the cigarettes I gave up four years ago. I'm going for my usual 5-mile trek now, before the kids get up for school. My 50s will be my best and healthiest decade ever.

Camiol, how did your trip go? Are you smoke free? I've got my fingers crossed for you. Siobhan, how are you doing?

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Deciding when moderation doesn?t work.