well i had to go and change my post....not sure but think it is a possible meeting with a new man who wants to get to know me....freaked me out and I just wanted to drink....I have been divorced for almost 30 years and have had only one 9 year long term relationship since then.....this man I met last year, a very brief encounter of just hello...not much more...and he headed back to Canada and now he is coming to his winter home in Florida and wants "to get to know me"" and it is freaking me out big time...I will be 66 years old in a few weeks...now what
I also posted zeros in my diary for today...I have no intention of drinking. For only being day two of the work week, it's already the week from hell. We have one month left on this project before we go live with our new systems and I know that this month, my life will revolve around work. I am looking forward to December being over. I don't even know how I'm going to enjoy Christmas this year because works going to rule the holidays, but I will try because I want my daughter to have a wonderful Christmas.
I know this month is going to be very trying for me and I am going to try my hardest to keep my drinking under control.
Good morning, Mogas. I made it through last night, and feel much better this morning. Just got back from a long, brisk walk. The sunrise is gorgeous. Thank you all for being here, and I hope everyone has a great day today.
Morning again to all of you out there...Another day that we have to be strong and deal with our demons...I have posted zeros again and am sure it will be my 3rd day abstaining. Planning to take my dog for a nice walk on the beach today. Just keeping busy is so important. I have become a TV addict but at least it keeps my mind off of having a drink. I too am eating more often but small healthy things. Is it some kind of oral fixation like smokers? Wanting to have a drink or food? So try and keep the healthy foods around, not the empty calorie junk food...and for the sweet I have the fruit juice ice pops...natural juice ones and they taste great and fill the sugar need...Have a great day and so happy to hear from you all...
It's okay Camiol and Hors, this is a common occurrence. I put a bunch of focus into writing drums for a blues song using 6/8 timing. Locked down some solid fills. Don't feel bad, I won't give up and quit that easily. just a very bad day, but that's gone. :).
that eating thing is something you have to be careful about. My sister was ( I hope she is not anymore) a cocaine and alcohol addict. She gained 100 pounds over a few years. She was compensating. When the cocaine was out, she switched to alcohol and when the alcohol was out
she switched to food just to make that little devil in her head happy he got some pleasure. Enjoy water!!
I wish there was something I could do for you Pj to pull you from this dark place but I know you are strong and will get through this rough patch. Its nice to hear that you don't make fun of people for their flaws...we are all flawed in some way and like you, I do not judge anyone for their imperfections. You have many wonderful qualities and your writing is so inspirational....perhaps you can draw some strength from something that you've written that has very deep meaning for you.
Thanks again Ashley....I did see a therapist a number of years ago. It was somewhat helpful but I feel that for whatever reason I can't seem to completely open up to a counsellor about my mom. I seem to have this fear of getting really enraged and I think by talking about everything my anger will take control. I have always tried to be the peacekeeper, I hate conflict and upset, and I'm sure that is thanks to my mom because she was always looking for a fight when she drank. This is why I am the way I am. However, when I do get angry, I get VERY angry and this is something I avoid as much as possible. I enjoy opening up to my friends here on AHC and I feel that just having them here to listen to me (a faceless voice) is very helpful. Ok enough about my family woes.
I made it through another night without alcohol. I give some of the credit to me, and some to the Kudzu. Now if only it would get my nonstop eating under control. Talk about an eating machine tonight! I know its normal to crave sugar when you don't drink but yikes, this was a crazy night. If it wasn't nailed down, I was eating it. Tomorrow is another day and I will try to have better eating habits. Good night all.
Everybody makes mistakes pj. I'm sure you made less than me. First reason is you are much younger than me...
it must be very hard for you to get insults from your family. My last roomate had the same problem. He did stand up out of his last rehab but they still treat him like a child. Talked to him today and he is so pissed because his dad would not even let him go to the gym... in case he might start drinking while he is there.
I think I was lucky to have parents that let us made our own decision about everything but now my mom is feeling guillty because she thinks she did not raise us,
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