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Sobriety Gang (SoGa) - a support group for staying sober

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

If we never take the first drink we will never have a problem. Unfortunately we do. That is the powerlessness AA talks about. No matter what, our mind hits a blind spot when it comes to booze. I was able to relate to that looking at my past experience. It was always that this time I am going to handle it well. I will not take more than 2 drinks. Perhaps initially I would have success but as days/weeks goes by, I would loosen up a bit. Add few more drinks here and there. And then pretty quickly back to square one. As the drinking progressed, the fight was gone.No wonder they call it a progressive disease. As we age the craving (due to aging of our organs) gets harder and was getting insanely drunk. The guilt, remorse the next day would be more. Got more cranky toward the end of my drinking career.

There are lot of stories in the book called Alcoholics Anonymous. The co-founders story is in the beginning, you may want to see how drinking progresses, and his vain attempts to sober up and then the solution.

This is how he explains his situation where he admits defeat:

No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 112

So I went ahead and drank with my brother and his girlfriend on Saturday, and sure enough I don't remember the end of the evening. I know slip ups are "normal", and I have learned a lot from this experience. I realize that my brother will never ever be understanding, I told him I joined a support group, and all he said was "whatever, you're drinking with me tonight". I drank non-alcoholic wine and then we opened a bottle of red wine and I sipped on that for a while. Of course my buzz set in, which made it IMPOSSIBLE for me to stop. I was under the impression before joining this group that I had a "drinking problem" and that I wasn't an "alcoholic" as I had understood the two to be different. I've never had cravings for alcohol when not drinking or not being around drinking, it's when others are drinking or when I've already drank some that I crave more. HOwever now I wonder if there isn't that big of a difference between those two labels, and maybe I've just been trying to fool myself all along...any thoughts?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I have enough self control to not drink if I force myself to, but my mind is playing it's tricks on me and I'm thinking "why not drink?

Thats what the program of AA calls insanity. We are able willed in all other matters but when it comes to alcohol we are weak willed. We succumb to those thoughts and end up taking that fatal first drink and then the phenomenon of craving kicks in and we end up drunk. They illustrate this with several examples in the book called Alcoholics Anonymous. The one I like most is the Car salesman who after eating a big sandwich, suddenly thinks an ounce of whiskey with milk in a full stomach won't hurt and ends up ordering the same. The experiment goes so well that he orders another sandwich and whiskey and milk combo and eventually ends up in sanitarium.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 218

Hey Mizzy Soleil,

Thanks for taking the time to check in. Great to hear you have been holding your own and sticking with your goals to limit your drinking. You are definitely right, the holidays seem to be somewhat associated with drinking.

To help combat that, when you are out you can try a few things, see what works best for you.

-Set a time to leave no matter what and have someone with you that can help you carry through with that.

-Bring or drink spacers, non alcoholic options that you really like to drink that you can drink between drinks of alcohol

-Try to eat what you can throughout the party

Also, in the program you will see some info on "saying no thanks" which you can check out as well.

You can do this, and think about bringing a family member/friend in as a supporting force especially around the holiday time to help you through it.

Take care, and enjoy the holidays, have fun

Matthew - Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 112

Hi gang!

So I've been doing really well staying sober so far, I've even gone to dinners and such where everyone was drinking, and I didn't have that big of a desire to join in. Today I'm having my brother and his girlfriend over for a pre-Thanksgiving dinner, and in the past we all usually drink quite a bit, which usually ends up with us going out, and then it has ended up sometimes for me with blacking out, which I always regret. Right now I'm having trouble getting my mind to think of these negative things that happen, and I really want to drink with them tonight. I have enough self control to not drink if I force myself to, but my mind is playing it's tricks on me and I'm thinking "why not drink? it's the normal thing to do when you have people over, and you're young, and blah blah blah", but just two weeks ago I had a terrible blackout that left me depressed for several days afterwards! Just typing this out is reminding me why I shouldn't drink tonight, but I just wanted to see if anyone else is already having trouble with their sobriety with the holidays coming up? Holidays = drinking for my family, so I have a feeling the battle has just begun!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 234

Hi JoJo

I realize that. I was just feeling very lonely and isolated, and when I get like that I always think it's something I did. It always in the dark struggles I feel that way.

Each day I try to deal with my insecurities, there appear to be many, even when I say I'm confident, I'm lying to myself.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 100

PJ - I saw awhile ago you said something along the lines of people not responding to you often... and you offered some reasons about yourself why that might be the case. I want you to know that (at least from my point of view, probably others as well), that any lack of response is due to my own daily struggle with getting enough done in a day, being self-absorbed, and all the rest of it. It has NOTHING to do with you personally and I think you are an eminently valuable member of this site, so please don't forget it!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 234

*Thick and Thin

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 234

Best three compliments I've ever heard.

I struggle like everyone else.

I want to say more but I'm watching four brothers

4 brothers, who unite. It's similar to this site/ We stand for eachother through thin and through..

Thanks

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 100

Congrats PJ on the newsletter news (hehe.. that sounds funny)! I enjoyed reading the poetry you posted here. You seem to have a way with words. Your resolve to find the good is always inspiring :)

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Sobriety Gang (SoGa) - a support group for staying sober