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Moderation Gang (MoGa) - an ongoing discussion of moderate drinking

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 325

Morning Mogas

Here we are starting another challenging week...either to abstain or moderate our drinking. I have seen so much progress here with all of us it is amazing and so uplifting. We all have a strength that we have been able to tap into and it is changing our life in such a positive way. Let's just keep up the good work and when we slip just get back up and continue down our path. I just know that 2013 is going to be a fantastic year for all of us. Keep posting and have a good week.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

PJ your postings tonight are very thought evoking. I wish good things for you and pray that every day will get better and better. Sometimes it is so easy to be hard on yourself. Much harder than other people are. Keep working the work. (Isn't that an AA slogan?) As you can tell, I've read many of the AA literature. Turquoise, it sounds like you and I are married to the same man! Is that possible? Having a good husband does make life a lot better! We have a 22 year old son who is adopted and was probably born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. He has had 2 DUIS and currently doesn"t have a license. He refuses help or treatment. Tonight he was supposed to go to dinner with me since my husband is out of town and my daughter has gone back to school. We haven't heard from him since Friday and don't know where he is. He lives in his own apartment so sometimes we go a few days without hearing from him. However, he knows he was supposed to go to dinner with me. I am very worried but have to put it in God's hands. If any of you are prayers, please pray that my son is in a good situation and that God will protect him. If he is in jail, then that is where he needs to be. It is very hard to tell this story, but hey,it is a big part of my life too. We just live day by day with him. We(my husband and I ) have been seeing a counselor for over a year to help us deal with the fallout of my son's drinking. That should be enough to keep me from overindulging you would think. Anyway, I have made it another night without drinking and will go to bed now. Everyone take care!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

I am so proud of everyone here. Saddie, that is great that you have gone five days. I can't seem to stick to my sobriety challenges lately, although I am not binging. I have found myself hesitating to post here, because I keep wanting to say that it was another day sober, but really I had three glasses of wine. Three days in a row. Sigh.

And my husband... He really is amazing -- during our marriage of sixteen years, he has always given me the best piece of chocolate, the nicest cut of steak, the biggest slice of dessert. He opens the door for me, serves me first, saves the best for me. He enjoys giving me what he knows I love, and he knows I love good wine. He truly is the dream husband in so many ways, and he and I love drinking good wine together. It is such a dilemma for me, because he tries so hard to see why I have a problem with drinking 2-3 glasses of wine every night. He doesn't see it as a problem at all, and he is sad that I'm stressed about it. Not sure how to handle this one. When I ask him to bring a bottle of wine home, he's always happy to say yes.

We've always been very honest and supportive with each other, and I've made it clear that I don't want him to be my babysitter as to when it's "okay" and when it's "not okay" for me to drink. Giving him that responsibility is not fair to him or to me and will eventually lead to resentment. So, how do I take on that responsibility for myself? I am trying so hard....

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 234

*Your presentnt, not "you're"

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 234

I didn't feel like hitting the pillow with tears, so I figured I could somehow logically explain my feelings. I'm sure my spelling and grammar is terrible.

MoGA's live life and choose your own direction, even if others will tell you can't do it. You stick to your instincts, and it will all fall in to place.

this is what I tell myself everymorning and everynignt

"Don't concentrate on what you have done wrong, unless you neglect to accept you have made some mistakes. Don't let the thoughts about the future or where you will be punch you down. You're present, past is the past, and future thoughts only exist, if you allow them to become the present."

Sorry for ranting,

I wanted to express some feelings.

( I bought my nephew a few disney movies (Tarzan and Oliver and the Gang), smart little guy)

Much love,

- PjH

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 234

Hi Mogas,

I won't be able to call out specific names in this post, I would love to, and you all know who you are (because it is late). You mean a lot to me, I take your screen names with me when I go to sleep. You are extremely amazing people, dealing with a stupid disease, which I wish I could push away from you. Unfortunately, I am consumed by it and it keeps telling me to say " You're fat you're ugly, women will never like you ...." I don't know about you, but have you ever had an itch on your body that you just can't reach? My Addictiion reminds me of that, it's such an aggrivating feeling. I thnk this site is phenomenal. It's important for people to have a chance to express their feelings. frustrations. I get so down on myself all of the time, even with sobriety time. I feel like a bad son, or that I won't be able to amount to much, I've really started concentrating living my life for myself, but avoiding hurting the family around me.

I've really jumped into my own reality (FINALLY) my family is only upset with me because they are watching me slowly die. In Re-Hab they called it "slow suicide". It's frustrating when (I) feel so down and selfish, and the only alleviation is hit the bottle. I have read the big book of A.A (multiple times). What I found really tremendous in (I call it re-hab keep things simple). The way the counselors were towards me, they neve told me to be a certain way or do something, nor be demanding. I loved how they asked "what do you like to do".

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Hi Vincenza, I really can't explain what I am feeling. I am a long distance runner and it kind of feels like I am in training and just using discipline to control myself. I guess my fear is that when I reach my goal (or not) that I will not know what to do. I have gone across the finish line in 3 marathons and each time it is so incredible. However, I immediately start thinking "Why didn't I run faster? Could I have done better?" So I kind of sabotage myself in the long run (excuse the pun.....that really came out without me even thinking about it!) However, if I am not training, I can find myself really slacking and not doing long runs. So I guess I am just afraid of what happens if I let my discipline falter at all. I am aware of the 12 steps of AA and I guess this is where I have to just take it one day at a time. I think that is the best way of describing how I feel. I am afraid of failure and am afraid that I may just go ahead and fail to get it over with. Weird feelings, huh? But this is where we are supposed to be honest and that's the only way I can describe it.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Everyone,

What great posts from this weekend!

Saddie, I'm intrigued by your comment about feeling addicted to not being addicted. I'm curious to know if other members can relate to that? Continue to take each moment at a time - it sounds like you have good strategies in place, for example not having wine in the house etc..

Keep up the positivity and determination everyone!

Vincenza, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Hi Everyone~

I love this site! I love hearing what everyone else has to say and you all give some good advice. I have to tell you that I have now been sober for 5 days! For some that might not be a challenge, but for me it is a BIG DEAL!!!!! I really want to continue down this path for the 30 days I decided on. I don't know what I will do after that. I have this really weird feeling that I am addicted to not being addicted. Does that make sense to anyone? It is this huge control feeling that I am experiencing. However, it makes me worried that if I slip I will really consider myself a failure.We went out to dinner with a another couple last night. The guys drank, but the other woman doesn't drink, and I was able to pass on it. I had ice tea instead. I have found that drinking caffeine late at night keeps me up though. I bought some sparkling water to drink instead. In fact I took a bottle with me to church this am and when I opened it, it exploded like a fountain. I actually had puddles in my lap! My husband had to go get napkins to wipe me up. Better water than wine at church. Wait! Didn't Jesus turn the water into wine?! Maybe I AM headed in the wrong direction. LOL My husband is leaving this evening for business so I will be home alone. There is no white or red wine in the house so I ought to be okay! It is very cold here so I will snuggle with a book and some hot tea I guess.I hope everyone has a very good night. Camiol, cooking sounds good, and Marylizy, sounds like you have found a good man! PJ thanks for the encouragement

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 112

Inspiring posts everyone! I'm glad to hear such positivity, that is awesome!!

PJ- right on with feeling more like yourself sober, I feel that way too, I like myself a lot better, and I realize that I've lost parts of myself from drinking that I didn't even know went missing! Our drunk selves take on a personality of their own, and people are getting used to my sober self, which is calmer but still fun:)

Have a great week everyone!

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Moderation Gang (MoGa) - an ongoing discussion of moderate drinking