Congrats on the new puppy! Glad to hear it is sleeping through the night; that must be a relief.
Maybe it would be helpful to set up some strategies over the weekend to ensure you stay on track? Perhaps only keeping a set amount of alcohol in the house. Talking to someone who can help remind you of your goal or having some notes ready to review when you get a craving? What do you think might be helpful?
Hi Mogas, I hope everyone is doing ok. No one seems to be posting the past couple days. I'm doing much better, the pup is sleeping at night....touch wood...and I'm feeling more rested.
I have been drinking wine each night but I have been mixing it with club soda to dilute it, and only having two glasses a night. I feel good about being in control but not going to fool myself into thinking this is a permanent thing. I hope it is but I'm being realistic. It would be nice if I was I could do this for the rest of my life. I am definitely more conscious of how much I'm drinking and Friday nights over indulgence did make me understand that its very easy for me to let go of my sensibility and drink until I black out. I do not ever want that to happen again. This weekend is my birthday and I really want to celebrate it, but I need to find a way to stay in control of how much wine I drink. It's going to be a challenge but I know I can do it with determination. I've been able to put down the wine glass the last few nights even though my head says I want more. If I can do it through the week, I can certainly do it on the weekend, right?
Good morning Moga friends. I'm seriously lacking sleep today the puppy did not want to sleep last night and I am exhausted. This should make for a wonderful day at the office. I'm cranky, pissed off and just want to go back to bed. To top it off I had a crown put on a molar this past Friday and it's extremely sensitive to the point of painful. I had serious trouble with another crown for 8 years and it finally abscessed and needed a root canal. They didn't do a root canal this time around again and if this tooth needs to be drilled out, I will be raising hell. Sorry for venting, I think the serious lack of sleep is affecting my mood.
I'm planning to abstain tonight and hope that nothing at work sets me off. When I'm this tired it doesn't take much to make me want to snap, then I end up holding in the anger all day and drink when I get home to relieve the tension. I do not want to do that tonight. I'm going to draw on the strength of all of you today. Have a great day, I'll check in later.
Well, it is Sunday night and I think I made it through the weekend pretty well. I had decided to let myself drink in moderation and pray that I could moderate. On Friday night I went to a friend's house and had 3 small glasses of wine. When she offered to open another bottle I was able to say no, but then had to hurry home so I wouldn't be tempted too much. Last night I went out with friends and had 3 glasses again over about 3 hours. After drinking, I didn't drive because we had a DD. Proud of myself there because one of my goals is not to drink and drive, ever.Tonight I stayed at home, safe with no wine, and did fine! So right now, as long as there is no wine around I do my best. If I could just stick to 3 glasses over a few hours maybe twice a week, I would be happy and feel moderate!
I hope everyone has a good week. Camiol, I hope your week isn't too difficult. I will be thinking of you!
Wow thank you everyone for your supportive, caring words of encouragement. PJ. thank you for the words you wrote for me, they are very meaningful and I certainly can relate.
I am done beating myself up for my big slip, it's done and I need to move forward. I went to my dads for dinner tonight and had one ultra light beer and a wine spritzer with dinner. Again I was able to stop at that, not only because I had to drive, but because I wanted to maintain control. I think the big trigger for me is the hell at work. I get so angry, frustrated and stressed out, I can't think of any other way to cope. By the time Friday rolls around im wound up as tight as a drum and i drink to make the stress and tension go away. My whole body is in knots all week I literally hurt physically. I'm just happy that I can come here and depend on all of you to support me and not judge me for my failures. Sleep well everyone.
I was thinking about that moment of dissappointement and I though about it all day and I wrote this for your feelings. It may sound out of place. Anyways from me to you Camiol.
"I’ll never retrieve the ground I have lost
Surely, I will pave the road that lies a head"
It is so easy to be hard on ourselves...but just let this go and move on. I like the diet and cupcake analogy...I drank way too much wine myself last night and have a few blank spots this morning so you are not alone. Just talking about it helps and trying not to have it happen as often is my goal. I enjoy drinking and unless my blood work next week shows something very out of wack in my liver enzymes will continue to enjoy a drink or two. Remember, we are the MOGA's...So happy puppy is doing well even though it is a lot of work....Have a wonderful rest of this Sunday and a peaceful week ahead.
Camiol, we have all had days, sometimes stretches of days, where we are disappointed about what has happened the night before or even the week before. REMEMBER, you can't change the past, but you can control the future. It is like being on a diet. Just because you had one or two cupcakes doesn't mean you are doomed. You just restart the diet and go from there. The same with drinking. Many times I have had to learn from what I have done, tuck it away, and start over. You aren't any less of a good person for what happened. You are great! The desire to drink is hard and for some of us in uncontrollable. Learning how to avert the problem is hard. I have realized that if I have a drink or two while getting ready to go out that I am much more likely to drink more while I am out. However, I also know that cooking with a friend and drinking wine is a lot of fun. So I would have to decide to drink and cook and not go out, or cook and no drink and then go out. My control meter is hard to control!
Maybe, take a step back, and take sometime to think about the good things going on in your life. Guilt seems to be associated for myself in situations like yours. The guilt turns to anger, and eventually turns back into alcohol in my body. I especially find this when I feel so down, and guilty, and then people remind me of my wrong doings. Unfortunately, this leads to anger for myself. Anger turns against me, and I end up drinking. It's a fragile point, so don't focus on what happened, note it, and continue moving on. You're a strong woman!
Turn your disappointment and anger into something so much more beautiful :) Hang in there.
Sorry to hear that you are disappointed in yourself with what occurred on Friday night. There is no better time than now to regroup and refocus yourself. You know what you need to do to get right back on the right track. Know your trigger points and do what you must to protect your goals.
I would recommend revisiting the online program, that is filled with great information and strategies.
Members, do you have any other suggestions for Camiol?
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