I'm back! I'm sorry I've been absent for so long. I've missed you all. I've been drinking regularly , but haven't gotten drunk. Just the usual 2 -3 every single day. It's time to bring it back under control. I will write more later, but I wanted to let you know that I'm ready to start working on this again.
Wine does seem to be the downfall for many of us doesn't it? I too have much more control when I drink anything else other than wine. I do love it so much though.
I just may have no choice but to take time off work. I am in a lot of pain. My back is getting a lot worse, the cramping in my butt, leg and foot is getting unbearable. Sitting at the dinner table was a challenge tonight because my back kept cramping. I can't imagine sitting for 8 hours at a desk tomorrow. I will give it a try because I don't give up that easily, but I suspect I'm not going to be able to do it. After walking the dogs up a steep hill today I believe I have further aggravate my sciatic nerve. I seriously think ill need to take time off to heal. I know I won't get better if I don't let it rest.
I'm still holding strong, haven't had a drink tonight and yes it's a bit difficult but I feel good about it. Hang tough ,y moga friends.
I hear your frustration....having to go to a work place where all you have is negative vibes must be terrible...I only hope there is an out for you...I am old, retired, finally met a great man to love but have to admit I am still drinking way too much..we both are but I am the one with the blackouts and remorse...my down fall is the wine...if I can have a few beers or even vodka and cranberry I am fine but one I start on the wine there is no turning back...I am still in the trying to moderate process and am so happy to have my friends to check in with and to keep me honest..Hope you have a great week ahead...and keep checking in...
Holding strong ElizabethRRRR. I'm happy to hear that you're feeling encouraged again. I'm maintaining a positive attitude even though I'm feeling short tempered at the moment, but this shall pass. I'll apologize now to everyone if I post several times this evening. If I feel frustrated, down, or even happy, I may feel the need to put it in writing to help me through the moment.
ElizabethRRRR you are so rights about getting outdoors. I took my dogs for a brisk walk today and I feel so much better. I've been feeling a bit under the weather the past few days, hating work, hating this addiction, and just not happy in general. I took my dogs for a walk yesterday and felt a bit better but then I started to drink wine and I ended up drinking more than a litre because I was talking to my sister on the phone for over 2 hours and lost track of how much I was drinking. I felt ok this morning but down on myself for having lost control. I have been off work for 5 days on vacation and tomorrow I,am returning which I find terribly depressing and upsetting. The walk has helped ease the dread of going to the office tomorrow and it has helped reduce my craving for wine. I am planning to not drink at all today....first day in 5 days. I woke up today thinking that today is a new day. I've slacked off on my diet, eating crappy food and drinking too much or too often and it's time to get myself back on track. I a going to try to commit to walking the dogs at least 5 days a week...weather permitting. If I can't walk them, I will get my rear end back in the treadmill. I am committing to eating healthier, with a treat now and then, and improving my overall well-being. It's time to s^*¥ or get off the pot. Life's too short to live it being miserable, addicted and in a constant fog. I know I'm in for a hard fight, but it's the good fight. I hope I can live a life of sobriety, and that I can get through the withdrawals, cravings and life's stresses. I want to enjoy life again and never feel the shame of having my daughter embarrassed of having an alcoholic mother.
Like PJ said below......I want to be something without alcohol.
Good to hear everyone's news. I'm better than I have been for several weeks. So easy to get caught up in negative thinking at work. Getting outside really helps.
Sorry you didn't get into the program you were hoping for. I know in my time, and now a few years out of graduate school, the program isn't always indicative of where people are in their careers, what careers path they are on and their levels of success. I know I didn't think that when I was going through applications etc, but now stepping back, I get a sense of that. I know you still had hopes for a certain program, but just know it doesn't always mean the most in the end.
As for the alcohol, it is great to hear you are learning everyday. The addiction can put a hold on you but know that you can put the work in to reach your goals. Your body and mind will definitely thank you.
All the best as you work on your addiction and work towards your goals
I posted this in General Well Being, with lacking respect of a lot of MoGA's. I apologize.
As you all know I didn't get into Mac for the program I was hoping for. It made me feel down, and frustrated. I recieved word from the board of OACETT - Ontario Association of Certified Engineering Technicians and Technologist. I am a certified Technologist.
Lots of work to be done as I don't feel I am at the level I should be. I am working away at refreshing all of my math and science courses. I have also indulged into a Industrial Process control Certificate, and others to come. My addiction pisses me off, but I feel satisfied to learn everyday.
Addiction may put shackles on me, but it always forgets to take the key. That is where it takes the individual power to over come it. It's given me the key many times and I didn't know what to do with it.
I still want to drink everyday, but I know, it won't help.
Alchohol always makes me feel like I'm something, even if I am alone. I want to be something without it.
Hi Saddie....it sounds like you're in for a nice weekend. If you want to stretch out the wine, try adding flub soda to it. Not only does it make the wine into a larger drink, it actually tastes quite good. I plan to do that this evening when I go out for dinner.
Well I must sign off, I just want to wish everyone a great start to the weekend. I hope you all enjoy whatever you do. I'll check in again tomorrow.
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, but haven't gotten drunk. Just the usual 2 -3 every single day. It's time to bring it back under control. I will write more later, but I wanted to let you know that I'm ready to start working on this again.
