I'm feeling kind of blah today....could be the weather or it could be that I feel useless because any little task I do causes more pain. I'm really wanting a glass of wine today but I have already promised myself that I won't do that. I'm feeling like the longer I go without drinking the easier it'll get and I want it to become a breeze, not even a fleeting thought anymore.
Saddie -- good luck with your race! I have gone another day sober. Today was easier than yesterday -- no depression and one very minor panic attack. I don't know that I'm feeling strong, but I am feeling good that I'm on the right path.
Camiol, thanks for the nice note! 4 days without wine is great! It is hard to go out and not drink when you see others drinking wine, but sometimes it works and you don't have to have any yourself. Doesn't that make you feel really, really good?! You have every right to be very proud of yourself!
I was just talking to my husband on the phone (he is out of town again) and I told him that I hadn't had any wine tonight. Then I explained that it was because I drank all 4 of the little bottles last night. Oh well! But like I said, none tonight. I had my last run before the race today and I want to be in good shape on Sunday.so I won't drink tomorrow night because we have a church meeting on Thursday nights. On Friday night I will drink but I will limit the amount. I would like it to be only 2 glasses. However, it will probably be three. I might as well just go ahead and say 3 because that is in my head and that is what it will be. Saturday will be none since the race starts at 7am on Sunday am. Running is discipline for me. Really it is a challenge for me. I am pretty hard on myself because I always set goals that I have to meet. I am disappointed if I don't meet those goals. That is why I set limits on my drinking. When I go past those limits I do get down on myself. Sometimes I don't set limits though and just drink to have fun. That is where the problem is. I like to drink until I feel silly. Unfortunately I like that feeling. I don't like the feeling of being drunk though, and if I drink and haven't eaten much then I get drunk. Not good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know the solution would be to eat more, but sometimes I burn the calories up running and would rather use my calorie intake on wine instead of food. When I read what I just wrote it really sounds stupid but maybe if I write it down and confess what I am doing, it will help me to stop.Also, I am really a fun loving person anyway who is silly a lot, so drinking until I feel silly doesn't really make sense when I read that statement.
Okay, I have been off this site for a few weeks and tonight I have used up my share of posting for the day. Thanks everyone for "listening" to my thoughts tonight. I just like that I can come here and write down what is going on in my head and in my life.
Welcome back Saddie....it's great to see you here again. I'll be thinking about you and sending good vibes your way for your upcoming race. I wish I had 1/4 of your energy.
I made it through day four and dinner at a restaurant without alcohol....I feel pretty proud that I was able to stay strong and not order a glass of wine. It was pretty tough to see the servers pouring wine in other glasses throughout the dining room but I knew I was doing the right thing by not ordering a glass.
Turquoise how are you holding up? I hope to see you post soon.
It has been ages since I have been on the site. I miss everyone and do find myself slipping when I am not checking in on a regular daily basis. I have not been as diligent about not drinking as much wine as I had been at the start of the year. I am going to have to go back to no wine in the house during the week to prevent myself from drinking it. My race that I have been training for is this weekend and I lost the weight that I wanted to by cutting down on my drinking. Since I have stayed at the weight I want to be I have been drinking more again. I do know that my weight is not the problem with drinking too much. I know that my entire health is affected when I drink too much wine. So, now I have to set some new goals and start working on them again. My first goal is that I will not drink any wine tonight or tomorrow night. There is no wine in the house so I should be able to meet those two goals without any problem. I will also start filling out my daily diary again and that is a big help. I like seeing my results in black and white. I will check in daily and hope that fellow MOGAS will help to hold me accountable for my wine drinking.
George it's so nice to see you posting again. I was actually thinking about you yesterday, wondering how you were doing. It seems you're doing wonderful and I'm happy for you. Like Ashley said, it takes incredible strength to get through thee big cravings and you are certainly proving you are a very strong man.
Today will be day 4 of abstinence for me. I'm going out for dinner very shortly with a friend from work and thankfully she doesn't drink. I'll order something nonalcoholic like a smoothie....I love them. I admit that I am thinking about wine and how I'd love a glass with dinner, but I'm going to abstain. I plan to negotiate with myself again, if I get through today, then I can maybe have a drink on the weekend. Right now my plan is no booze this weekend, but it seems I can somehow outsmart myself and not drink by self negotiating...lol. I'll check in later.
Wow! I'm very impressed with how well you are managing this craving. It takes incredible strength and determination to distract yourself when experiencing a big craving like you are. Once you get through today I think a reward is in order for tomorrow!
Being the top 4% is also super impressive! I must say I am a tad jealous...I would offer to have a game with you but I don't think I would like to play with a master chess player...that would just be embarressing
Anyways, keep staying strong and take in one minute at a time.
I haven't posted since last year, mainly because I was doing all right until Easter Sunday when I took it over the top. Had a great day at my daughter's, and had only two beers over the course of the afternoon since I was driving. It didn't bother me since I was really interested in the conversation and was also taking videos of the grandchildrens' Easter egg hunt.
When I got home I got into the wine and finished a bottle while editing the video (which turned out great - somehow!). Felt horrible the next day. So Monday and Tuesday were alcohol-free. Same today, but an hour ago I started thinking about how nice it would be to go to the pub and have a nice cold one. "Only one", says the Dragon. But I know that it would turn into two very quickly and when I got home my resistance would be gone. So I came back on the website to read and post for a bit. After that I'll get onto my chess website and play a few games. I'm quite decent at chess, in the top 4% of quarter of a million members online. But a couple of beers brings my ranking down 200 points. I know. I've done it.
So that's my next stop. By then my other half will be home and it will be time for supper. Nice to see the posts from the old regulars. Keep the faith.
George ........ .......... ..............and the Dragon
Please don't beat yourself up over this Turquoise. I know it's easier said than done, and it's a tough battle to fight. I'm here for you and want to support you in any way you need me. I understand how you feel, and together we can beat this demon.
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