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13 years ago 0 616 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I believe I may be getting a grip on this problem, but I'm keeping my realistic view that I can easily slip back to no self control at any moment.  Again tonight I had two low alcohol beer over a 2 hour period.  My husband and I then met friends for a 3 hour dinner date at a local restaurant.  I had two cocktails.  I drank very slowly and feel no effect from the alcohol.  It will be so nice to wake up Saturday morning with no hangover.  

I'm learning that I don't need to drink enough to get drunk, that a social drink or two is ok.  I'm learning how to control the drive to drink too much after the first drink.  
13 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Camiol,
 
It sounds like you have a very realistic view of what happened. It is great to hear that you had control over the situation. It is also good to hear your desire to drink has diminshed. What do you think would have happened if you did want to have more?
 
What will you be taking away from this experience? What is the learning here?
 
 

Ashley, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 616 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I don't know if I should be mad at myself or proud of myself.  I decided to have a drink tonight.  Well what I actually
 had was 2 ultra light, low alcohol beer.  I feel proud that I kept it totally under control, and in fact had no desire to have another after I finished my second one, but I'm mad at myself for not sticking to my goal of only Friday night.  I think my guilt is outweighing my pride in being able to control how much I drank.  Well I suppose on the upside, I'm not buzzed at all and I have no craving for more alcohol.  
13 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You're very welcome!
 
And YES!!!!!!! Doesn't it feel great?
 


Ashley, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 616 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It feels great Ashley!  I am remaining optimistic but also realistic in the fact that I know everyday is going to be a battle for me, but that it will get easier too.  I have to say thank you to you and the people on this website.  If I hadn't found this support and information, I know my drinking would be worse today.   I was in a downward spiral, today I feel that I'm regaining control of my life.
13 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Congratulations Camiol!
 
So proud of you

How does it feel to be taking control of this?


Ashley, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 616 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well another day of hell at work, and another night of successfully abstaining from alcohol.  I feel pretty proud of myself because earlier today I said to myself "screw it, I'm having a drink tonight", but when I sat back and thought about it, I knew it wasnt a good idea.  Just trying to figure out what drink I should have...wine, beer, vodka...that put a bit of fear into me because I know what wine does to me, I know if I had a beer I'd end up graduating to wine, and vodka just hits me hard and fast.  So a couple deep breaths and some self talking to remind myself of my goal and I am once again enjoying a sober evening with my daughter.  Life is good.
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thats great to hear Camiol. What we got to watch for is the queer mental twist we all have developed that may trick us into picking the 1st drink after few days of abstinence. The mind starts deliberating if at all we have worried too much about this situation, do we really have a problem with alcohol, one drink wont hurt. This is the blind spot the book called AA points to:

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The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove. 
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If we honestly look back at our past, after each brief period of abstinence, we would just done this, picked up a drink without even thinking about the consequences. This is the powerlessness the program of AA talks about.
13 years ago 0 616 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you Foxman, that does help to keep me from grabbing a drink.  Again I had a really rough day at work and was able to abstain last night.  With each passing day that I don't drink, the less I want to drink.  I do have the awareness in the back of my mind that if I do have a drink, I know I won't stop at just one, just as I know if I had one cigarette I'd be hooked again.   I haven't had a drink since Friday and that's the longest stretch I've gone in over a year and I am already feeling so much better.  
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
What I'd like to know is how I went from being an occasional drinker to an alcoholic and I didn't even see it coming?

That is a great question. I went from a social drinker to frequent binge drinker and at the end I was drinking daily. After entering AA I learned this is a fatal progressive disease. What they mean by this is, If i have to drink after long period of abstinence, I would quickly spiral down to worse state than before. To illustrate this, there is a story in the book called AA: 

A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking. He was very nervous in the morning after these bouts and quieted himself with more liquor. He was ambitious to succeed in business, but saw that he would get nowhere if he drank at all. Once he started, he had no control whatever. He made up his mind that until he had been successful in business and had retired, he would not touch another drop. An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career. Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men. Out came his carpet slippers and a bottle. In two months he was in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated. He tried to regulate his drinking for a little while, making several trips to the hospital meantime. Then, gathering all his forces, he attempted to stop altogether and found he could not. Every means of solving his problem which money could buy was at his disposal. Every attempt failed. Though a robust man at retirement, he went to pieces quickly and was dead within four years. 

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