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Changing your relationship with alcohol

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Mapuan,

I know things are tough right now. Please reminding yourself why you are doing this and these feelings are temporary and all part of the healing process. Remember that soon you will feel healthier then ever.

You make a very good point, changing your relationship with alcohol certainly does change your relationship with others. Alcohol was a big part of your life, so it will be life changing. Now that alcohol will no longer be a big part of your life what activities will you do to replace alcohol? Replacing this behaviour is important.

I know this is hard Mapuan, this is going to be a big fight but keep in mind this may be the most important fight of your life. I know you have the strength and determination to reach your goals. Remember we are always here to lean on.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Oh... yesterday I asked dh not to bring home anymore wine or beer or anything alcoholic. This is huge. Huge. We've danced around it, talked about it, suggested it... but this time I said DON'T bring it home and he didn't. This changing my relationship with alcohol kinda looks like it changes relationship with ppl too.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

in answer to questions... I'm tired of picking everything apart. I just want to be done with it. The sadness is partly "Just feel it" as there is naught to be done about the death of a son, and partly bad thinking that needs to be fixed instead of numbed out. My favorite tool here is the diary and drinking chart... i like that the graphics show me drinking less and less. Sure, need new tools but feeling kind of overwhelmed with information and these d*** f e e l i n g s. Been two days since last drink. feeling really, really grumpy and somewhat ill.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 653

YAY!! I'm so happy to see you turning those negative statements into more positive ones!! Baby steps, Mapuan!!

Keep up this track. It will work. You have great self-awareness and are looking for help in all the right places. Self-sabotage is very common in all our lives. Again, so great that you are thinking about it and picking it apart to get to a solution for your self!!

About your sadness- some 'life philosophies' suggest this: just feel it!! Are you drinking to try to numb the pain and sadness... how is that working for you so far, as the famous saying goes?? Maybe an idea would be to examine the feelings that lead to the drinking, 'fix' those...? Who else do you have to share all of this with? What parts of the program have really clicked for you so far? Is it time to try some new tools?

Keep us posted.

Tiana, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Tiana, This morning I came back and did what you suggested about finding my goals already stated in an earlier post. You are right. So instead of, "I don't know" ... I have stated a goal and why I want that goal and what I'm looking for. I posted it on the member goals page. It feels good to commit to this and after last night's slip, I realize trying to sneak by without a stated goal is stupid... um ... not particularly helpful. In the past, whenever I set a goal or did something positive for myself... it has triggered various levels of self-sabotage. I swear I'm hardwired for it. Never fails. I only make progress when I pretend I'm not really interested. Which is totally stupid ... um ... not particularly helpful. Thank you for your input... here's to learning new ways of coping.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Hi Jacks, thanks for the encouragement and good thoughts. You sound good. Journaling is a good idea, but not for me at this time I don't think. I have journaled for years, but sometimes I get sick of hearing from me and only me, going around and around in circles. Coming to this site has been like getting fresh air... I'm being challenged to think, be aware, and change my thought processes and behaviors. I want to be held accountable. Ultimately, of course, I have to do it for myself... but right now I need someone outside to help me change direction. I need the feedback.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

Just the fact that you keep logging on is progress. You haven't lost ground, just a little footing along the way. Keep posting and moving forward

Have you ever considered keeping a journal? Maybe writing down your feelings will make you feel better. You could

say anything you want, to anyone you wanted--but still in private. This way the sad things would be contained and you could

'shut the book' on them for a little while once you got them out into the 'open'.

Have faith in baby steps...they are still steps

jacks

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

I recently read something that said, "Friends don't let friends facebook drunk" ... a take on the commercial, "Friends don't let friends drive drunk." ... so anyway, my "authentic self" is taking this to heart and not allowing me to post anything tonight. All I'm allowed to say is.... one step forward, four back.... life hurts (and that was censored).

I just don't know what to do with the sadness.... I'm sorry, but I don't. I really, really don't.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Great work Lostjake! You deserved a relaxing evening and a good nights sleep.

Hi mapuan, it has been great reading about your thought processes going through this. I am sure many individuals will benefit from reading what you are going through. I did want to comment on what you said about sleeping. I know it may seem like drinking helps you sleep but that is a common misconception. Alcohol actually prevents you from having a deep restful sleep, so although you may feel like alcohol allows you to fall asleep easier it actually prevents you from having a good restful sleep.

I like you idea on replacing drinking with doing something creative. There are a lot of great hobbies you can get into if you enjoy being creative! What are some creative projects you would be excited about getting involved with?

To answer your question, it is common to feel euphoric and to have stress dulled while drinking but this is temporary. Alcohol is a depressant and does depress the brain and nervous system. Alcohol lowers the serotonin and norepinephrine levels in your brain. These are chemicals that make you feel good. In addition to this alcohol clears out nutrients and vitamins you need, adding to the overall bad feeling. A common vitamin deficiency amongst heavy drinkers is folic acid defincency. This deficiency can lead to premature brain ageing, dementia in older people and depression.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Foxman,

Having a different world perspective would be so great... Great... GREAT !!! There is such self-righteous hate being slung about, so much avoidable death and destruction being wreaked on the planet and her people. A different world perspective would be most welcome.

I hear what you are saying about meditation to bring quiet to the mind with a focus on today and only today. I do hear you. It's just so much easier to get it out of a bottle. I don't want to have to <gasp!> WORK at it... jk... I do hear you and it is a good reminder. Thanks for posting. I appreciate hearing your thoughts on the matter.

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Changing your relationship with alcohol