Hi Eddiewolf, so great to meet you.

well what I will say right away is we are both expressing ourselves here. That is a rather big thing. It sounds like you are aware of your situation and do have resources. Logistics of appointments can be so frustrating.

As I live alone, I find the quiet evenings can seem long and sad. My current broken heart has been super painful and has brought a new sense of loneliness.

last week I started 3 things. I found this site so I can begin to get things out there to those who may wish to listen as I am trying not to project things into others. I am also working diligently to stay in the moment and focusing on something as simple as elevator buttons to keep my thoughts from going down that path of sad. As an illustrator I have also started a piece on my drafting table that has a lot of my deep pain visually out onto paper.

Nightmares are being addressed by my MD and I am waiting for an appointment for a psychological sleep test

I have promised myself to be active here. It is already having a positive effect and my hope is that at some point my words may ease someone else’s struggle

hang in there... I certainly hope a lot of it is seasonal for you and this is just a rough patch

HI @DoodlesInk

For the first time in my life I've thought about taking a leave from work as well. I've battled depression my whole life and had felt I was getting much better at recognizing the downward spiral and catching it before it became an overwhelming wave (tsaunami more like it). This time is different, I'm so exhausted I can't function and I feel like I sound like an idiot most days. I can't remember words when I'm speaking and half the time I don't remember what I'm doing.

For a month I figured it was just seasonal and would go away but it's getting worse. To top it off I was supposed to see my therapist this week and the appointment got moved. I find I have a hard time opening up to new therapists and have had the most success with my family docter, however, it's not easy getting appointments for counselling at any kind of urgency, hence why I joined here.

I'm starting to think I'm just not a happy person no matter what but I'm hoping to fix that somehow.

Hi Everyone - I wandered in yesterday and after some time surfing around it may be what I have been looking for without knowing.

I am currently working through a very broken heart but also admit to not dealing with a couple of major life events that come back to bite me every time life throws a curve ball. One being a major accident, and the second, the death of both parents very close together.

i have always know I had some form of depression but I find as I get older it has become less and less easy to work through.

my recent breakup has rocked my world and has me awake at night with repetitive thoughts of physical and emotional pain covering more than one life event. With this has come nightmares and sleep walking.

Fir the first time ever I have thought of taking time off work. I have instead seen my Dr, booked a vacation and found this resource.

Right now I’m horribly sad and trying not to consistently project it onto my group of very supportive friends

NEED to move forward