Welcome A.

Thank you for sharing a bit about your mental health. That is great the Zoloft works for you. Are you still able to take Zoloft without benefits? It sounds like counselling helped you and not having it regularly is destabilising. Have you used Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) before? There are often DBT group courses that are less expensive then counselling and very effective in helping to manage BPD and Depression. If you have not worked on DBT before I highly recommend. This program would also be a great for you to work on by yourself or with a counsellor. The Depression program is based on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and is very effective in treating depression.

Your goals of getting back to counselling and being more open are great! In order to increase you chances of success I encourage you to make your goals SMART goals. For more information on how to create a SMART goal please see session 2 of the Depression program. It looks like you just need to make your goal measurable and time stamped. For example, I will write in my journal three times a week and try an alternative creative outlet once a month. If you would like to share your SMART goals I would love to hear them.

Thanks for posting,

Ashley

Hi everyone,

I am not really sure what to talk about because I have never really opened up about my struggles to people I do not know before, but I think it might be helpful.

I have struggled with major depressive disorder, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder for the last nearly 10 years. I was diagnosed younger with a chronic illness which made me feel more isolated, but I really didn't experience severe changes in my mood until a big traumatic family event that I was unfortunately stuck in the middle of with no one to talk to about it that understood. Despite previous trauma, I think this one really triggered everything for me because it's where I remember I began to self harm, feel emotionless, experience panic attacks, etc. I refused to take medication for it until about 4 years into it all because for whatever reason I used to believe it would make me seem 'weak'. I have been on Zoloft and another medication as of more recently (I cannot remember the name because it's a strange one). I find it has definitely helped in so many respects, but since I had not had benefits up until now and couldn't afford to continue with counselling, I had gotten a lot more unstable again. It's hard too, because I finally have two jobs in a field that I am passionate about and went to school for, and I'm aware I have a lot of good things in my life, but I still feel like I am failing. And when people around me tell me to be aware of the good, it's frustrating because I am aware, but the depression masks me being able to feel good about these things.

I am trying to set goals like going back to counselling, being more open (through writing, creative outlets), and just taking things one day at a time.

Anyways, that's it I suppose.

A.