Hello.
My name is Farzam. I'm from Iran.
I'm 25 and I've been smoker for 7 years (did smoke casually before that). I used to be an athlete, mostly martial arts. I developed a knee joint problem (probably smoking was partly responsible too) so I had to stop. That resulted for me to smoke more and I smoked mostly 1 or 2 packs a day depending on my mood. A few months back, I felt some chest pain and went to my doctor, turns out I had developed a heart disease which can only be related to smoking. The good news is it is minor and if I quit, I could recover with some medicine. It's sad to hear a 25 year old talk about heart disease isn't it? what's worse (and more idiotic) is that it hasn't stopped me. I'm always like: one more day of smoke won't kill me, I will eventually quit soon, or I just simply ignore it like it's not there.
My attempts?
Like most smokers, I have attempted a lot to quit, cutting down, gums, patches etc. In my all quitting resume, my best smoke free time was 30 hours while still using gums. I didn't have a smoke free day since I was really hooked, till I tried cold turkey and I lasted 60 hours once. Logically(???!!!) and by experience, I believe cold turkey is THE way, at least for me. For now I have cut down to 4-10 a day with light cigarettes and switched to super light 0.1mg nic and 1mg tar ones. By experience, the physical craving is somehow less when you go cold turkey from a lesser dose. I don't recommend cutting down for others though. I'm hardly keeping it this way by having every day cravings.
My current problem:
I have given it some thought. I keep postponing it every day. Partially because I'm afraid of the withdrawal symptoms and want to delay it, partially unconsiously I think I don't want to say good bye yet and I'm waiting for an imaginary closure day (whatever that means). While my logical mind knows I'm not enjoying them, it's like I don't believe it deeply. An other thing is I don't feel the emotional motivation to build up to start quitting and enough so I could last for the few first days.
Any suggestion/comment would be greatly appreciated.
Best.
Farzam.
