Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Challenging Worry

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-20 11:42 PM

Depression Community

logo

Hello

Linda Q

2024-04-11 5:06 AM

Anxiety Community

logo

Addiction

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-08 3:54 PM

Managing Drinking Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Browse through 411.749 posts in 47.054 threads.

160,526 Members

Please welcome our newest members: eggmegrolf, PearlCat19, mima, FrannyLou, AABBYGAIL RUTH

How to help my husband quit?


8 years ago 0 11214 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Amanda,

First of all, good for you for looking for resources to support your husband. It is clear that you care deeply about him and want to do everything you can to help. Unfortunately, there is limited things you can do to make him quit. He has to want to for himself. In fact, the more you push him the more resistant he may be. You can talk to him about it, help him to set goals and gain resources that will help though. If you notice him talking about quitting focus on what he is saying and try not to jump to topics he is not ready to focus on. Be careful of your approach though as sometimes pushing someone can be counter productive. Be honest about how you feel but try not to criticize.

You may want to look into motivational interviewing if you are really interested in helpful ways to communicate with him but that being said sometimes it is best to leave the "counselling" to professionals. It is impossible to be completely unbiased and supportive when his life and actions are so intertwined with yours.

Be sure to take good care of yourself. You are in a really tough spot. Keep us updated on how you are doing.


Ashley, Health Educator
8 years ago 0 5 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The number 1 rule to this
 
YOU CAN NOT ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT NO MATTER HOW WORRIED YOU ARE, SCARED YOU ARE, ETC. FORCE HIM TO QUIT!
 
Personally I have seen cancer patients not care and keep smoking, THIS IS AN ADDICTION NOT A DANG HABIT SO GET THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD!  We can't just quit it like a dime, it's an addiction that we recover from. WE ARE ADDICTS!
 
Second once he MAKES HIS OWN DECISION TO QUIT SMOKING.....then support him like offer to help him when he needs it, listen to him, etc.
 
Listen no doctor, not you, not anybody is going to do this but him!  I've seen people divorce because the other one won't quit smoking again this is an addiction.  If you don't want to put strain on your marriage and possibly end up in the courthouse due to ww3 due to your nagging about his smoking........I suggest you lay off of him until HE MAKES THE DECISION ON HIS OWN!
 
Of course this is just coming from someone who quit, someone who is going through the withdrawal now!  Unlike habits, habits don't have withdrawals addictions do! Habits are easy to break, addictions aren't.........My husband is continuing to smoke and you know what let him.  What he does doesn't effect my quit! 
8 years ago 0 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi, I am here on behalf of my husband. He is a smoker from age 17. Recently he had his inguinal hernia repaired. He was in a lot of pain. The doctor said that one of the main reasons for the hernia is his smoking. He recovered from the surgery just fine, but now he is getting back to his old habits. The doctor clearly told me that if he continues to smoke in a similar pattern, the hernia will definitely reappear. I am a lot worried about him. I do not want to see him go through all these again. How do I help him? Where should I start? Are there any methods that I can try?

Reading this thread: